Casi 300

Me movie is good. Me am smart. Make funny ha ha joke! Ha Ha! Me show you... ug.... people you am know from pop culture tabloids. Me make fun of them! Me show you fat person and you laugh! You laugh at little midgets and farting! PBBBLLLP! Fart noise! HA HA Funny! Me poop my pants. In funny movie Meet Spartans I make fun of other movie. I take scenes from movies you know and make them funny. I add farts or have people kicked down into a hole. I make funny gay jokes about gay people! Ha ha! Don't forget, you laugh at Kevin Federline because he is big loser! Him think he can rap just like me think me can write joke! Me write movie! You remember Epic Movie? Me write that too. Me write with crayons or my own poop that I scoop out of toilet after I fart and go pooh. Me make funny jokes about Paris Hilton. She so stupid! She am loose sexually. Ha HA HA! Me write sequel soon. Me deserve bazillions of dollars for buying things me stupid family deserve. Me ug fbloduad boodle! HAHA!

I work at a movie theater, so the only reason I went to see this movie was because it was free and I thought that it just might be the kind of movie that's so bad me and my friends could entertain ourselves by making fun of it. However, Meet the Spartans left us completely dumbfounded and speechless. It's beyond bad! There was nothing you could say that could make of this movie, it does it all by itself and it doesn't even allow you to laugh while you watch it going down in flames. I considered its predecessor, Epic Movie, to be among one of the worst movies ever made. I didn't think it could possibly get worse, but it did. It's like watching 300 all over again expect with ridiculous pop culture references that aren't even funny. The guys who made this movie obviously don't understand comedy in the slightest bit. I hope that this is the last one of these ridiculous comedies that gets to occupy a theater over another film that might actually be worth something. This film is a waste of money for starters, but even if you don't have to pay, it's just a waste of time.

I don't know how my brain allowed me to see this picture. I thought it would be like trying to suffocate yourself; your body would just shut down before you could do it. Apparently I was wrong. I sat through this movie and laughed once, and that was during the preview for another movie. There was the odd part where I might have cracked a smile or thought, "This might be funny if..." but there is a very good reason for that. Instead of making good jokes and thoughtful humour, the writers decided to just constantly send an endless stream of jokes at you and hoped one of them made you chuckle. This movie was truly atrocious. You would think after having their last two films be on the bottom 100 of this site, the makers would say, "Lets try something different," but no, it is the exact same as Date Movie and Epic Movie; Bad.

I was recently forced to sit through Meet the Spartans. Ill start by saying that i'm very sick of all this epic/date/scary movie junk. It's been overdone and only appeals to people under the age of 9. The humor in this movie was just as awful as i thought it would be and i could predict the entire movie. I was told before-hand that it was only about 90 minutes, and was a little upset id be paying for that. After watching the movie i was beyond glad that i only had to be tortured for that long, rather than the usual 2 hours. I'll close by saying that if you're forced to watch this movie, rip your eyes out of your skull and pour salt into your head. It will be much more enjoyable.

A dismal failure of a spoof with only the slightest bit of funny. This dreck breaks all the rules of good spoofing.

1. Be timely. A joke about Ellen in Mr Wrong? Really?

2. Be funny when offensive. Accident prone kid in Scary Movie 3, mildly funny. Assault on a kid by Spartian, not funny.

3. Be subtle sometimes. Not everything has to go to the extreme.

4. Be broad. Go everywhere for your spoofs, not just the same wells over and over.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY....

5. DON'T EXPLAIN EVERY RIFF AND SOURCE MATERIAL. If you have to tell your audience where it comes from, chances are it's not funny.

The fact that this film is only 60 odd minutes plus one of the longest credit sequences loaded with even more unfunny deleted scenes (seriously can't those wait for the DVD no one should buy either), that's just adding insult to injury.