- Leegola: What else can we slay? Is that a hobbit over there?
- Titanius Anglesmith: No, that's a hobo and a rabbit. But they're making a hobbit.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Just knowing we're in the same genus makes me embarrassed to call myself homo.
- Frydo: Why aren't you killing it, Leela? You love killing!
- Leegola: [Looking at her reflection in her sword covered with Zoiberg's blood] No! No more killing!
- Monster Zoidberg: Ohhhhhh! So suddenly Miss Goody Four Shoes over here doesn't kill anymore. She killed me not five minutes ago! What am I, chopped liver?
- Leegola: Shut up!
- [She starts slashing at him again with her sword]
- Monster Zoidberg: Ow! Stop chopping my liver!
- The Scary Door Narrator: [Voice over] In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens but the humblest of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex.
- [a troll whacks the King of Wipe Castle on the head with a big stick]
- King of Wipe Castle: My sanity. It's back! At last, I can live the life I've always...
- [the troll whacks him on the head again and makes him fall to the ground]
- King of Wipe Castle: Aaaah! BOOKALOOKAMOOKALEE!
- King of Wipe Castle: [played by Roberto] You callin' me crazy? Just coz I gotta hotel in my foot don't make me a BOOGALEE-MOOGALEE-MOOGALEE!
- [Momon has transformed into a dragon and with the Die of Power, Frydo transforms into a dragon as well]
- Frydo: So it's all come down to this... a dungeon... and dragons!
- Monster Zoidberg: I didn't see it coming.
- The Great Wizard Greyfarn: Yes, tis a powerful object in both our worlds. If you fail to destroy it in yours, perhaps you were brought here that you might have have a second chance!
- Frydo: So this land is real?
- The Great Wizard Greyfarn: Oooh dreadfully real. If you die here you'll really be dead. But instead of science, we believe in crazy hocus-pocus. It's like Kansas.
- Leegola: God help us.
- Dr. Zoidberg: You harbor resentment because they pushed you to study medicine when all you ever wanted was to be a song-and-dance man.
- [He dances around and sings a tune then falls to his knees and sobs]
- Dr. Zoidberg: Why? Whyyy?
- Turanga Leela: I was raised in an orphanarium. My parents are sewer mutants who I never even met until a few years ago.
- Dr. Zoidberg: Then you've got to go to them and work this song-and-dance stuff out. Maybe have them cook me nice dinner. No scallions. I hate them.
- [to an intercom]
- Dr. Zoidberg: Amy, cancel my appointments.
- Amy Wong: [Over the intercom] Stop calling me!
- Rich Little's head: And now to grace us with its rendition of the national anthem, please welcome what is left of the Dixie Chicks after their tragic matter transporter accident.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Wait. Before my moment of shame, could I give my boy a hug?
- [stares at Igner]
- Mom: Oh, go ahead. I've never done it, I guess somebody should.
- Nibbler: It all began 36 years ago on the planet Virgin 6. It was a veritable Eden with brimming with unique and irreplaceable species, most of which were delicious.
- Mom: [after the Professor swallows the anti-backwards crystal] Oh, great move genius, you're in a crap harvesting factory. Boys!
- [Walt holds up a syringe full of prune juice while Larry holds up a pail]
- Dwight Conrad: [after the Professor activates the crystal's 'high frequency stink'] Dude, who ripped an egger?
- Cubert Farnsworth: [accusingly] He who smelt it, dealt it.
- Dwight Conrad: Yeah? Well, he who denied it, supplied it!
- Cubert Farnsworth: He who articulated it, particulated it!
- Dwight Conrad: He who refuted it, tooted it!
- Cubert Farnsworth: [after a slight pause] Stalemate.
- [from trailer]
- [the Planet Express crew ends up in a fantasy planet and Leela has transformed into a centaur]
- Turanga Leela: Oh, Lord, I'm half horse and half naked!
- Turanga Leela: You're making fun of our ship? Your ship's the most beat-up thing I've ever seen - and I've seen Mickey Rourke's head!
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: [the Planet Express ship has been seriously damaged in a demolition derby] Yes, she's a wonderful ship, all right - as beautiful now as the day I got botched laser eye surgery.
- [TV show "Tea with Titans"]
- Morbo: Morbo the Annihilator here, sitting down to a delightful tea in this fake living-room set.
- [shouts angrily]
- Morbo: Thank you for joining us, Mom!
- Mom: My pleasure, Sugar Plum.
- Morbo: Mom, you control the world's only dark-matter mine. Why are fuel prices so high?
- Mom: Oh, it's terrible, isn't it? Dark matter is just so rare nowadays, but we'll keep pinching loaf after loaf from the bowels of the Earth, even if I lose money on every log.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I'm sure I don't need to explain that all dark matter in the universe is linked in the form of a single non-local metaparticle.