The Evil Woods

Dear lord, if you want to see a movie with Terrible acting, disgusting plot, and the most common looking villain to date (not to mention the marijuana that looks like twigs they picked up off of the ground) then see this movie.

Wow I did not think a movie could get a lower budget until I seen the evil woods. The sheer thought that others paid well earned money to see this makes me sick! I am not one to normally post comments, but when I saw this movie I just couldn't resist.

At first glance I thought "well at least it will be good for a laugh." but no! everything about this movie is flawed, the plot, the dialog, the acting, the killer, and the scene of random nudity. The writer probably only wrote thirty minutes of dialog then decided to add "dude" and "man" to every second line. This is a movie best forgotten. So please do not waste time and money on this abomination.

This is one of the most horrible movies I've ever seen. Almost every aspect of the movie is terrible... you name it, they blow it. Bad writing, bad acting, bad direction, bad camera work (it's a face-hugger), bad lighting, bad special effects, bad sound effects... I could go on and on. And the viewer is forced to be painfully aware of the fact that the filmmakers are trying their HARDEST to stretch every scene to make the movie reach an acceptable full length run-time. Heck, you might actually be able to make this movie watchable if you took the footage and edited it down to 30 minutes. But at 83 minutes it's excruciating.

But here's why I ask if this is a conspiracy: What the F++K is the director of this piece of crap doing directing a movie starring Bruce Willis and Forest Whitaker? Has the world gone insane? Click on director Aaron Harvey's name and you will see that he is supposedly currently directing a movie called "Catch .44" with all sorts of well known actors. How did this happen? What the F++K is going on here? I'm dumbfounded. This must be a joke or a mistake.

You know the horror genre has some really great films. It is just a shame that so many idiots out there think they can just throw something together and make a good one and fail, giving the genre a bad name. You have got to be kidding me that anybody even reading the script(If there was one)thought this was going to be good. I'm sure they suckered some young people to be apart of their crew by promising meals and credit instead of any pay for their time. Wow, you gave them a garbage flick to put on their resume. That will really impress Robert Zemeckis or Michael Bay to hire them to do something better. We have 5 young people that all hate each other camping out for no real reason. I spent most of the time watching this trying to figure out why I was watching it until I skipped to the end. Really bad movie.

Anybody saying this movie is good is somebody who knows these people and feels sorry for them.

I believe that this movie started out as a dare for the director to make a horrible movie. I'm not going to say that it's the worst one out there, I'm thankful of the omission of thirty minutes screen-time's driving at the start of the film. Considering the second half of the film only contains one word of dialog repeated ad infinitum, the point is balanced out.

It's not all bad, the plot is coherent! Mind you, any points it would gain for that are reduced fourfold for the plot also being simple and meteorically boring. We're talking a plot that can be verbosely, accurately, and lengthily described in under ten words. The boring factor on this movie could be considered radioactive. After re-watching this movie for this review, I hung out at the apartment complex's barbecue for awhile, everyone who was in their apartment during the time I watched this suffered from high levels of boredom as well.

I'd almost give this movie two stars for half of the actors not being incredibly bad, and nails-to-chalkboard annoying, if not for the other half of the cast filling that role to the T. My only theory of this movie not being conceptually designed to suck would be that the director wanted us to feel relief when the characters die, but the relief factor doesn't exist either, instead we're left with disgust at the movie.

I'll finish this review now because I've probably racked up a longer word count for this review than the script had in its entirety.

Probably the absolute worst movie i have ever seen. I don't mean this simply in the way that many people say that lots of movies are the worst ever. I say this with complete and utter truth. The acting was horrible but even worse was the screenplay and storyline. My gosh, this film does not even pass Highschool level. I am completely serious. I watched it because i couldn't find any reviews about it, but damn. Save yourself the time you would waste on such an abomination. An absolute joke. How can the director have the guts to put his name on such a film?

Don't watch this.