House of Payne

I saw this show last fall...let's put it this way, I'd rather have my eyelids taped open and be forced to sit through a year-long marathon of "Gigli" and "Battlefield Earth" while bamboo shoots are shoved underneath my fingernails than have to endure another season of this mindless dreck. I was afraid the writing would be the worst part of the show, but the "talent" secured to play the various one-dimensional characters actually sinks below the source material. Why TBS picked this up is beyond me. Tyler Perry is somewhat of an enigma to me. I don't care for his plays, but I did like the movie version of "Diary Of A Mad Black Woman." Just when I think he's getting better, he turns around and brings out a show like this. Stick with Everybody Loves Raymond, The Cosby Show, or even My Wife and Kids...anything is better than this.

Today I found myself in a dilemma. I was sitting at my computer, and House of Payne came on. But the remote was all the way over on the couch. I didn't want to get up, but there was no way I was going to watch House of Payne. Out of the question. So I picked myself up off my comfy computer chair and changed the channel. Why is this relevant? House of Payne is the type of show that can't be ignored, and I don't mean that in a good way. I can't sit here and go about my business when House of Payne is on, because as hard as I try to ignore it, the bad jokes and terrible acting always catch my attention.

There are so many things wrong with this show. I don't even need to get into detail about it, the other reviews do a fine job of that. One of the most laughable aspects of the show is that it is supposed to show African Americans in a positive light. So, the one caucasian character is a fat, bumbling idiot. I've no idea why Bart Hansard has continued to play such a pathetic and degrading character, this show does nothing to promote racial equality, and in fact it sets us back at least 10 years, if not more. Tyler Perry is the Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer of the Television industry, and that's saying a lot. Absolute garbage, and TBS should be shut down for acting like it has any sort of critical acclaim.

Words cannot capture just how bad this show really is. It probably sets black culture back 50 years. Horrible writing, impossibly predictable stereotypical characters, and actors that look to be mailing it in make me wonder who at TBS could have possibly thought this was a good idea.

I won't try to summarize any particular plot, since some may view that as a type of validation. Simply put, there is nothing redeeming about this atrocity. Even the laugh track doesn't find this show funny.

TBS advertises the Paynes as "the Huxtables meets the Bunkers." They are neither. They are neither funny nor socially relevant. If I were Bill Cosby, I'd sue TBS for defamation.

Memo to TBS:

(1) Cancel this show IMMEDIATELY; (2) Fire the executive that green-lighted this debacle and ensure that he or she never works in entertainment again; and (3) Destroy all evidence, scripts, recordings, etc. proving that this show existed.

If you're confused by my title, let me explain. If the unnecessarily drawn-out conversations immediately got to the point, the 25 minute shows would last about 10 minutes. Hence, a 10 minute story told in 25 minutes.

There are a lot more reasons for my 3 stars, but I don't feel like writing a book. Let's just say that there is no comedy in this comedy.

Tyler Perry's House of Payne is a fantastic show! I love how the actors are horrible and have no sense of comedic timing! I love how the writers write awful plots with awful jokes to fill in the 20 minutes the show is on the air! I love how the characters are paper thin, stereotypical, and just flat out annoying! I love how this show is crap! My first paragraph was a thick dose of sarcasm.

I feel sick when I watch this show. For those of you who picked it up, I have stopped with the sarcasm (I'm guessing its the people who don't find House of Payne funny, because any person with a spec of intelligence couldn't find it funny). How in the world Arrested Development got canceled and this didn't is beyond me (although that may be a blessing in disguise).

Everything I said in my first paragraph is what is wrong with the show. It's just a pure, awful program. How it can be "the number one sitcom", as billed by TBS, is beyond me. Is it because more people nowadays watch television? Is it because people fall asleep instantaneously when this show comes on and they can't change their channel? Someone, please, fill me in, because this show is garbage.

Another complaint, and this isn't necessarily about the show, but more about Tyler Perry. Why does everything have to be "Tyler Perry's this" or "Tyler Perry's that". Its very annoying, I don't really care who does it. The only difference is when it's a group or something, like Monty Python or National Lampoon. When a single person does it, its just really arrogant and unimpressive. He's riding the wave of his past successes.

I've never seen Tyler Perry's movies or his plays. I have seen his other show, Meet the Browns, and it is, somehow, worse than this show. But I caught a few minutes of one of his movies (don't remember which one) and I thought it was marginally better than the show. I, personally, think he is ruining television, but that's just my opinion.

It doesn't matter what race I am, I can "get" things, but just in case someone wants to slander me or use this against me, I'm white. Big deal, if something is funny, I'll laugh. I can appreciate "black" comedy. I love Bill Cosby, The Cosby Show, Richard Pryor, Cleavon Little, Gregory Hines, Eddie Murphy, Phil Lamarr, Tim Meadows, Kat Williams, and Dave Chappelle. Tyler Perry could learn a thing or two from those guys.

TBS needs to stick with reruns and stop trying to create and original show. They're all horrible.