Vampire Assassin

It's 2005, my friends...a time of amazing special effects and an age of technology. So, why can't we see a movie that's a little more thought out than this cheesy low-budget film. I've seen a lot of low-budget movies that rock my socks off, but this one...it's almost as if it's trying to be horrible. Just...don't...watch it. I can look past lack of special effects and computer generated scenes if the acting itself was at least good. I feel like a small child produced this entire movie. There's not even an original plot line. Vampire Assassins, in itself is one big plot hole with an attempt to mock itself. Can someone tell me if, perhaps, this was designed as a comedy movie and I just didn't know it? It makes me wonder, what does the sequel have in store for us who so loved the first installment?

This movie actually almost made me cry.

For starters the fake teeth. Then you spot a nice plastic or drawn set. To make it even more boring all the action is followed by a bright light flash. Then the talking: sound levels are so different, sometimes too hard, then too soft, never exactly good like in good movies. Also, it echoes so much that i think they had one microphone on the entire set. And to make matters worse, EVER heard of stereo? If the camera switches, the sound always stays centered. The actors talk like they are reading from a board staged behind the camera. And the zooming into another scene, how terrible childish.

The music is so badly chosen that it never adds something. It only destroys any accidentally created excitement.

To finish it up, the fighting scenes... my 3 year old niece would make a better fighting scene.

This movie is not even good for a laugh, it's just that bad...

I hope the people who made this movies read these comments. The choreography was horrid, the plot was nill, and the actors where so low budget power rangers appears 5 star to this junk.

The fight scenes where so slow you could actually see the actors waiting for each other to perform the next move. Camera cut-aways and poor lighting could not cover up the cheap effects. The lightning was just plain stupid. The weapons looked like something out of a final fantasy game, and the dual bow and arrow was just dull as anything I have ever seen.

Next movie you decide to make try investing in some wireless mics, better script and try actually spending some time on your stunts.

Honestly there are shows on t.v. that play ever night and are thrown together in a few hours that look better than this one.

Stick to martial arts (unless its as poor as your acting) then take up quilting.

This is one of the worst movies, I've ever seen in my life. To say this was made in the 2000's the graphics look as if it came from the 80's or 70's. The fangs were terrible. the gun shots look as if it was done by the Nintendo 1. Just terrible.The acting is horrible. It looked like it was done by freshman high school kids, who were just getting into photoshop. Stay away! I've warned you. If still would like to watch this movie do it to make yourself laugh. This is not a comedy, but you just can't take it serious. I could not believe that Liongate would even put their name on this. It's just terrible. You can watch a clip on youtube.

In a world full of films -- like "You Got Served" -- that blow your mind with its vast amounts of errors, you'd never figure that there would be worse films... until now. Ron Hall's "Vampire Assassins" does more than cheese you off. It KNOWS that you are mad at it. First: there are no assassins in this movie. In fact, there's only one good guy fighting in the whole movie. Second: The location... is basically one location: some jackass's house (or basement. It's up to you.). Third: The special effects (bluntly stated) can kiss my ass. Fourth: The acting beats "Plan 9 from Outer Space" in the worst-acting-ever category. Ron Hall can't act to save his life. Finally (and definitely not the smallest problem): THE EDITING. The person who edited this film better hope that I never find him. The cuts and shots are HORRENDOUS!!!! Other issues: Lighting (virtually none), the fact that the guy on the cover isn't even in the movie, and the fact that this film exists.

To sum this film up, let us just say that I tortured the DVD copy before taking it back to Hollywood Video (don't worry! I used the MVP membership, so it was free!). NEVER SEE THIS FILM!!!!