The Wickeds

Well, the only thing that kept this movie from being rated a total flop, was one thing. That solitary thing being Mr. Ron Jeremy. Now, the movie itself was Atrocious, we just need to get that out of the way. From the poor camera work, and terrible music.....to the porno-esquire script, and terrible acting. Amidst all of this, Ron Jeremy thrives in true Gutman form. He and his slack-jawed sidekick, set off a world of zombie trouble over an absolutely ridiculous prop referred to as "The Amulet". To Make a long story short, watch this movie, but for nothing more than comedic value and if you have a free rental coupon (like I did). It's definitely not worth the price of admission. From special effects to soundtrack......this movie is garbage.

Now, let me begin by saying that i love cheap horror movies. Can't get enough of 'em. I adore "Plan 9 from Outer Space". I loved "Chopping Mall" and "I Dismember Mama". But this... abomination...

Shot on camcorder in a local graveyard and what seems to be someone's garden shed standing in for the requisite "Evil Dead" shack, this stars (and i use the word advisedly) porno legend Ron Jeremy and the local amateur dramatics society. When the Hedgehog of Sex puts in a movie's best performance, things ain't looking good.

Anyhow, the plot - such as it is - involves two cretinous gravediggers stealing an amulet from the body of a magician / vampire, who promptly rises from the grave to retrieve his filched property, and conjures a horde of zombies from the surrounding graves to help him besiege a shed full of dozy students in which said gravedigging thieves have taken refuge. Leaving aside the question of how a vampire summons zombies, what follows is some of the most inept stuff committed to film. The girl who is spuriously "possessed", gaining spooky eyes DRAWN ONTO HER EYELIDS had me paralysed with laughter rather than fear.

Worth viewing only for the hot brunette chick (Kelly Roth) and the awe-inspiring stunt sequence where a guy hangs and drops a whole 3 feet onto some straw. They even play it in slow motion for maximum devastating effect. This film may well be toxic: do not approach.

The cover was false advertising. I actually was excited to rent it and every time I went to Blockbuster they were out of it.. so I'm guessing a lot of other people were fooled by their cover. Although they were pretty smart to get people to see it (which really, is the main goal) by the misleading cover and synopsis, there was nothing even remotely close to what the cover was like. I spent my time laughing at the bad acting, shadows of the camera guy, cheesy special effects, lame plot, Ron Jeremy?, well why waste my time even talking about it.. the movie just plain sucked.

Don't see it.

Okay, maybe it was obviously supposed to be a joke. But it's a really bad one. Shaun of the Dead and House of 1000 Corpses are send-ups of cheesy horror movies. This movie is an irredeemable piece of crap. It looks like some film-school dropout borrowed his dad's camcorder, provided some free beer for his friends, and drove out to an abandoned farmhouse to try to make a movie. The acting is horrific, the plot is non-existent, and the special effects look like something out of a Saturday Night Live sketch. They couldn't even get the makeup right. The zombies don't even look like zombies. They look like college kids dressed as zombies. I suspect when Ron Jeremy looks back on his career, he'll consider this film to be among his lowest moments. I appreciate bad horror films as much as anyone, but this monstrosity should be avoided at all costs.

All I have to say is that this movie is THE BIGGEST PIECE OF CRAP EVER!!!!! All that needs to be said is that Ron Jeremy is in this film, and its not supposed to be a porn... therefore in my mind the caliber of this film was already decided when they cast him. Not saying he made it a bad movie... what I'm saying is that he was probably the only reasonably "well known" actor they could get to star in this movie. The reasons being: 1)Awful script 2)Terrible acting and last but certainly not least 3)Horrendous cheesy graphics!! Now if you really feel the need to waste $4 at a blockbuster, this movie is a perfect waste. I am now dumber after sitting through this flea on the dog that is Hollywood!