Hellraiser: Hellworld

Hey you wanna know what I hate? Lines of dialogue like this:

"You been away from the dark realm a while, Chels, how'd it feel playin' again?"

"Just like any other ultra-violent twenty-four hour wildly popular and yet utterly purposeless embraced-by-the-masses Internet role-playing game."

It's one of those lines of dialogue that they always put into movies like Hellraiser 8 that are impossible to avoid sounding like they were written and re-written and rehearsed and re- rehearsed and then finally they just give up trying to make it sound natural after 30 or 40 takes and, exasperated, just drop the best bad take into the movie. That, being said, let me tell you what I have figured out.

After years if deliberation about what it takes to make a good horror movie and what is missing in a bad one, after countless theories (the presence of teenagers or college-age kids being near the top of that list, by the way), I have finally discovered for certain the exact point at which a movie stops being scary and good and instantly becomes stupid and bad. There is a perfect illustration of the solution near the end of this film, when Chelsea gets locked in the room and Adam starts calling to her from under the floor.

She has becomes absorbed in some photo album despite having found herself locked into the creepiest attic imaginable, and she hears someone whispering her name from behind her. She spins around just in time to see a hand disappear beneath a crack in the floorboards, and she cautiously moves over to investigate. As she peers into the hole, she continues to hear her name being called and she can see the tiniest glimpse of a face in the darkness, and at this point I am absolutely cringing in my chair. No matter how sure I am that something is going to spring out in a situation like that it still gets to me.

And then she did something stupid.

Literally the instant Chelsea put her hand through that crack in the floorboards, I immediately relaxed, almost to the point of breathing a sigh of relief because I didn't have to worry anymore because I completely stopped caring. And it's not just because she doesn't realize she's in a horror movie (despite the fact that the entire cast of this movie are hardcore Hellraiser fans, so the fourth wall has already been breached), it's because the moment her hand crosses the threshold of that crack in the boards she instantly ceases to be a victim.

And you know what my analogy is? Suicide! When someone in a horror movie does something that stupid, it is generally because the filmmakers need to have the character killed off but can't think of a really clever way to have it happen, so they just have the character do something monumentally stupid, but the problem is that this places the blame for their death on themselves, and in a horror movie, it's not only not scary when someone is attacked after doing something as idiotic as putting her hand through the crack in the floorboards because she thinks she sees her dead friend down there, it's satisfying, and not in the good way either.

Stupidity should be painful, but in the movies, it should be lethal.

That being said, it's amazing how little effort was made into making it clear what exactly was going on in the movie. It starts out with the funeral of a college age kid having been killed because of his over-involvement in something called Hellworld, which itself is never very clearly explained. His friends later mourn that they all knew what was happening to him but still kept playing Hellworld, although if you watch the making-of featurettes on the DVD, Director Rick Bota refers to Hellworld as "a website, or video game." It's kind of an ominous sign when even the director doesn't know what his movie is about. Either that or he doesn't know the difference between a website and a video game.

The story follows the death of their friend, something about that game, and then cuts to a few years later when all of his friends get invited to a party celebrating the said video game. Needless to say, it's kind of like an overblown Halloween party where everyone seems to be fascinated with the macabre (serious macabre, too, like dead babies in jars, sounds like a blast), and girls randomly pull their breasts out (curiously, the first bit of wildly gratuitous nudity is followed by the following exchange – "Gratuitous breasts?" "Necessary breasts! Ha ha ha!" Clever.).

When all is said and done and you finally realize what has been happening throughout the entire movie, it is such a ludicrous and ridiculous twist that it distantly surpasses the Saw movies for absurdity. If you thought Jigsaw had some time on his hands to come up with some incredibly complex machines of torture, wait until you see the plot that is hatched by the Host (played by Lance Henriksen, who wastes his talent completely in this movie).

Also don't miss the making-of featurette on the DVD, in which you can witness Pinhead eating a piece of pizza and, my favorite, Khary Payton, one of the actors in the film, makes the following mysterious analogy – "Horror movies are like roller coasters, you know, they're not gonna win Oscars or that kind of thing, but they're just a lot of fun."

I don't know, Khary, have you ridden Xtreme at Magic Mountain in Southern California? I see an Oscar in that ride's future!

Now, don't get me wrong: the movie by itself wasn't *that* bad, it was just horrible (no, not in *that* way) in the Hellraiser context. The problem, you see, is the following: the first half of the series (yes, even the 4th installment which most people dislike) were monster-movies - a mysterious box, a couple of evil looking beings that came with it, and a lot of unlucky people who came in contact with them - while "Inferno" and the rest have been turned into mind game movies, where people see things which may, or may not, be related to the box...

What we have in "Hellworld" is a genuine mediocre teen slasher: 5 young people, who were once dedicated players of the Internet based game "Hellworld" but are taking it cooler since the suicide of their fellow player, get invited to a big party. From the beginning things seem weird and soon our heroes start to die one by one... And that's it. Pinhead, once a scary creature from Hell, has basically been turned into a serial killer with minimum imagination. The whole "you dared to open the box, we came, now you'll be tortured for all eternity" is gone. It's quite obvious that this script wasn't written with Hellraiser in mind. It's actually a mystery why it was even made part of the series, when it'd worked quite nicely independently... It could have used more deaths though.

I have to mention two positive things about the movie: Lace (hey, it doesn't matter if it's a brilliant masterpiece or Z-class production when Lance is in it!) and the fact that everybody was familiar with the Hellraiser mythology (the main character Chelsea even mentions that cenobites could never attack her because she would never open the box... beside the fact that it's all just fiction).

But all in all I'd give it a 4 out of 10 - not enough deaths, lame story, has virtually nothing to do with the Hellraiser franchise, but the deaths were OK and Lace played along.

I don't waste my words for this movie. I knew the Comics the movies and the novel. The first from Bota was good. Better then INFERNO. I make it short. Bad acting. Bad Pinhead. Bad Light. Bad music. Bad writing. Bad. bad. Bad. Bad DIRECTOR. The Horror in this movie is very small. The actors plays like bored first time actors. And this modern editing with Rockmusic and speeder velocity is out. And why teens. Why not older People? Please Mr. Bota. Stop to direct the Hellraiser movies. Every Hellraiser fan would make a better Hellraiser movie. A bad 3 from a bad 10. I couldn't believe it how bad and uninspiring that movie is.

I hope Barker never see this. ;)

Like Freddy Krueger, Micahel Myers, Jason Voorhees, and Chucky, Pinhead has become a pop culture icon the years. He first appeared in Clive Barker's novel "The Hellbound Heart", which was later turned into the 1987 hit movie HELLRAISER, which was written and directed by Barker. The success of HELLRAISER lead to three theatrical sequels, comics, and action figures. In the eighteen years since its release, the cult status HELLRAISER as grown bigger and bigger. Knowing they have an audience of die-hard Pinhead fans, executives at Dimension Films insist on cranking out a new direct-to-video sequel every few years. None of them are particularly any good, but I just like the legion of other Pinhead fans, watch them with the hope that one of the sequels with be as good as the original HELLRAISER. This year saw the release of two direct-to-video sequels. The first was HELLRAISER: DEADER, which was better than the average direct-to-video release, but still not nearly as good as HELLRAISER was. The second direct-to-video sequel featuring Pinhead to be released in 2005 is HELLRAISER: HELLWORLD, a film so lackluster that makes all the other direct-to-video Hellraiser sequels look like cinematic gold. 'HELLWORLD' is yet another horror flick that seems to have been inspired by Wes Craven's NEW NIGHTMARE. However, while NEW NIGHTMARE was a clever and original horror picture, HELLRAISER: HELLWORLD is anything but. The premise seems dated and it is not nearly as clever as the filmmakers believe it is. The plot is just one of the many faults with this poorly edited, dreadfully acted, and misdirected failure. Like HELLRAISER: DEADER, 'HELLWORLD' was long delayed and it's not hard to see why. It's sloppily put together and for something that is supposed to be a horror thriller, lacks tension altogether. On the plus side, the make-up and effects are decent, some gratuitous nudity is thrown in, and Lance Henrisken is good in his role. The best thing that can be said about it is that it is not quite as bad as HELLRAISER: BLOODLINE. With any luck, this will be the last Hellraiser sequel. If there is actually yet another sequel, hopefully Clive Barker will be involved. The franchise as lost its steam. It's time for Pinhead to finally die. My rating: 4/10

What is this, what has this to do with Hellraiser, nothing at all, sure the lament configuration is there and there's an online game but let that be all. And pinhead do appears but he isn't what he is used to be. No punishment at all, okay, here we do have back some cenobites but that's it.

Pinhead is really forced into the story to make a Hellraiser flick but it didn't work at all. He do uses his one-liners but it's so forced and I really got pity with Bradley that he was involved in this little stinker.

Also, it's the first Hellraiser with that amount of nudity. Sadly, it doesn't add a thing to Hell. It's also the franchise that we see Bradley performing for the last time as pinhead, Revealtions (2011) was the follow-up and we all knew what that was, a flop.

Gore 0,5/5 Nudity 1,5/5 Effects 2/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5