- Brian Kinney: I don't believe in love; I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get in and out with the maximum of pleasure and minimum of bullshit. Love is something straight people tell themselves they're in so they can get laid, and then they end up hurting each other because it was all based on lies to begin with.
- Justin: I should have told you about him.
- Brian Kinney: And taken all the fun out of it? So how big's his dick?
- Justin: That has nothing to do with it.
- Brian Kinney: Since when? You love cock, you love it down your throat, you love it up your ass, you love riding it, and after you cum, you love to fall asleep when it's still inside of you.
- Justin: I like dick. I wanna get fucked by dick. I wanna suck dick. I like sucking dick, and I'm good at it too.
- [after she's read Brian and Justin's wedding announcement]
- Debbie: There's only one explanation - he must've knocked up Sunshine.
- Brian: [to Craig Taylor] So in other words, for Justin to live here with you, he has to deny who he is... what he thinks... and how he feels. Well, that's not love. That's hate.
- Brian Kinney: You stupid little twat, never let anyone fuck you without a condom.
- Justin: You're not just anyone.
- Brian Kinney: Yeah, I'm sure that's what Ben thought about the guy who infected him. Put it on me... I want you safe. I want you around for a long time.
- Brian Kinney: [to Justin] You walked down with me, back to the Jeep, and we were goofing, we were dancing. I kissed you, said 'later,' and then you turned around and smiled. Then I knew why Debbie calls you Sunshine.
- [about Justin leaving]
- Brian: You infected him, with your petty, bourgois, mediocre, conformist, assimilationist life! Thanks to you he's got visions - babies, weddings, white picket fences - dancing in his blond little head.
- Michael: And you think *I* put them there?
- Brian: Before you and your husband tied the noose around your necks he was perfectly happy! But now, he's a defector, just like the rest of you!
- Michael: He was never perfectly happy! Waiting for years for you to say "I love you, you're the only one I want."
- Brian: That's *not* who I am!
- Michael: Don't we all know!
- [Justin's about to leave for New York]
- Justin: I'll be back. And you'll come there, we're gonna see each other all the time.
- Brian: You don't know that. Neither do I. Whether we see each other next week, next month, never again, it doesn't matter. It's only time.
- Justin: [picking up the box that holds their wedding rings] You didn't return them?
- Brian: I didn't return them.
- Justin: We don't need rings or vows to prove that we love each other. We already know that.
- Brian: ...You did it.
- Justin: Did what?
- Brian: Became the best homosexual you could possibly be.
- Melanie: I told you, he's a total heterophobe.
- Justin: It's true, he is.
- Brian Kinney: It's true, I am.
- Michael: [to Justin, about Brian] If you ask me, he's been pretty good to you. He saved your life, he took you in, he's putting you through school, he protects you, he looks after you... And whether you believe it or not, he loves you, more than he's ever loved anyone.
- Brian Kinney: What're you doing?
- Justin: Killing you with kindness. It's proven to be a highly effective technique for achieving one's goals.
- Brian Kinney: The first time you came here, you didn't know anything about me. I could have done anything to you.
- Justin: I was pretty sure you were gonna fuck me.
- [Ted's trying to get Brian to talk about losing both Michael and Justin]
- Ted: You can't fool me. You gotta free yourself of this burden. Release it. Let it all hang out.
- Brian: My mother was a frigid bitch. My father was an abusive drunk. They had a hateful marriage, which is probably why I am unwilling or unable to form a committed long-term relationship of my own. The fact that I drink like a fish, abuse drugs, and have more or less redefined promiscuity doesn't help, much. As a result, I've lost the two people in my life that mean most to me.
- Michael: He's a selfish little shit.
- Brian Kinney: Be quiet, Michael.
- Michael: He used you, and he took from you, and he never gave back a thing.
- Brian Kinney: I said be quiet!
- Michael: And this is thanks you get for saving his life. If you ask me, it wasn't worth it, you might as well have just left him lying there...
- Brian Kinney: [punches Michael in the face]
- Brian: We're queer. We don't need marriage. We don't need the sanction of dickless politicians and pederast priests. We fuck who we want to, when we want to. That is our God-given right.
- Michael: But it is also our God-given right to have everything that straight people have. Because we're every bit as much human as they are.
- Brian Kinney: Wouldn't you rather just cuddle?
- Justin: What?
- Brian Kinney: I said wouldn't you rather just lie here...
- Justin: No no no, I heard what you said. You said "cuddle"!
- [after Michael informs Hunter that Brian already has a boyfriend]
- Hunter: You do?
- Brian Kinney: In a non-defined, non-conventional way, yeah.
- [Michael and Hunter argue about Hunter's 'job' as a hustler]
- Michael Charles Novotny: This guy could have killed you.
- Hunter: They all could.
- Michael Charles Novotny: Well, if you know that why do you do it?
- Hunter: I have low self-esteem. I was sexualized at too early an age. It's exciting, fun, and a great way to make non-reportable income.
- Michael Charles Novotny: I would like an honest answer, smart-ass.
- Brian Kinney: He just gave you one.
- Brian Kinney: This used to be such a magical kingdom, full of sprites and fairies.
- Justin: Now it's like watching the Wizard of Oz in reverse.
- Brian Kinney: Cops in the streets, cops in the bars, cops in the clubs. It's fucking depressing!
- Justin: Unless you're into cops.
- Brian: Do you know what I remember from high school?
- Michael: That time in Biology when you beat off in a test tube and tried to call it your science experiment?
- Brian: Food. There was always lots of food at your house.
- Michael: Well, that's an Italian thing. And there was always lots of booze at your house.
- Brian: That's an Irish thing.
- Emmett: [on coming out] Why tell anyone? Why lose everything when it can just be your little secret? You see, it was different for me. Everyone could tell who I was from the start and it didn't make my life any easier. I've been beaten up, cursed at, spit on, ignored... but in a way it was worth it. Because I have never had to live a lie and I'm not about to start now. Not for you, not for anyone.
- Brian: When did you change?
- Michael: What?
- Brian: When did you become this pious, sanctimonious, judgmental twit?
- Michael: The point is not when did I change, the point is why haven't you? When are you gonna stop being some over-the-hill club boy and grow up?
- Brian: Oh, so now I'm the object of your disapproval, too. You and the Nutty Professor get married, in fucking Canada! You move to Stepford Avenue with all the other ersatz heterosexuals, and suddenly that gives you the right to make pronouncements on everybody else's life? Well, welcome to the other side of your perfect marriage, Mikey. It's called gay divorce. Fags and dykes can fuck up their lives just like the rest of the world.
- Jennifer Taylor: He told the therapist that he likes dick.
- Debbie: See, you already have something in common. I bet you were thinking you would never have anything to share again.
- Michael Charles Novotny: I don't know how you do it, working all day, fucking all night.
- Brian Kinney: Well they say in the vast emptiness of space, the faster you move, the slower you age. I have to believe the same holds true for Pittsburgh. You care to join me?
- Michael Charles Novotny: You'll have to stay forever young without me.
- Brian Kinney: I understand, you're in a committed relationship with your, what is that hideous expression? Significant other? Loser.
- Brian Kinney: I'm suing the motherfucker.
- Michael: Take it easy, Brian.
- Brian Kinney: He said I was thirty-one!... I'm thirty.
- Justin: Is that all you care about? He practically called you a child molester.
- Brian Kinney: And who should know, better than... you.
- Michael: He wants me to be honest, to tell him what I really think.
- Brian Kinney: And what do you really think?
- Michael: It was kinda boring.
- Brian Kinney: Kinda like him? He's your partner, Mikey. You gotta sit him down, take his hand and tell him "Honey, it's a steaming pile of horseshit."
- Michael: Could you say that to Justin?
- Brian Kinney: Yeah. Fortunately... he's a genius.
- Michael: You are so helpful.
- Michael Charles Novotny: You fucked a murderer?
- Hunter: What's the big deal? I used a condom.
- Brian Kinney: [to Michael] Well, your safe sex lecture paid off.
- Justin: He loves me.
- Brian Kinney: Your dreamy-eyed school boy.
- Justin: In ways that you can't.
- Brian Kinney: In ways that I won't.
- [walking up to a drunk Emmett]
- Justin: We're going to Babylon. You wanna come?
- Emmett: I'm not really in the mood for men or muscles or music... I'd rather stay here, get shit-faced.
- Brian: You passed shit-faced about 10 miles back.
- Emmett: So I've had a few cocktails. Does that qualify me for rehab? Besides, I've already been there.
- Justin: Did you see Ted?
- Emmett: And you'll never guess who's there with him.
- Brian: Liza?
- Justin: Robert Downey, Jr.?
- Brian: Ben Affleck?
- Justin: Matthew Perry?