Viaje sin retorno

well, rent this film only after you've seen every other horror film in your video store. even then, consider expanding your tastes to as many other genres as you can before returning to lost voyage. still tempted? how about picking up a nice book, or going out with your friends, or perhaps simply hammering your genitals to a board with an old nail?

why do i do this to myself? why did i think that anything good could come out of a made-for-the-tube film about a ghost ship starring judd "washed-up-since-1985" nelson? you know why? session 9. i blame session 9. every now and then, after sifting through the ever-thinning ranks of my olde video store i decide to rent a movie that screams "complete loser" in hopes that it turns out to be somewhere between "mildly loserish" and "ok". and sometimes, just sometimes, one of these low expectation picks turns out to be a bit of a winner, like session 9. well, the makers of this film (and my video store) can thank david caruso's scrawny white ass, because session 9 restored my faith that not all obscure low-budget horror films are stupid and brainless despite all the alarm bells that sound when you read the box.

unfortunately lost voyage IS stupid and brainless, a cheeseball excuse for a bunch of roughly sketched characters to run around the corridors of a ship accompanied by a relentless horror movie soundtrack. sure, it's got its jump-out-at-ya moments, but so does my fridge after i forget about a half-eaten ham-n-cheese sandwich that's been sitting in the back for a week or three.

it's just that the plot is so lazy. there is so much that could have been done with the bermuda triangle yet they way lamed out. um, so, mr. writer-directory-guy, what's your theory on the triangle? "well, it's a gateway to HELL!" so, where have all the people on the ship gone... "well, they've been sucked into HELL"! so, um, why has the ship reappeared? "well, there was this storm, just like when it disappeared, so it came back... back from HELL"! alright, but why is the ship trying to off all these weak-ass characters now it's returned? "well, it's collected all this evil energy because, well because, well, of course it wants to off everybody it's been in HELL"!

damn i wish i could get a few paycheques for coming up with brilliant plotting like that.

ok, vented enough. goodnight.

From the way Lost Voyage sound and looks, it looks like two movies fused together, and the two movies are The Triangle and Ghost Ship. Lost Voyage is not bad, not bad, at all. Lost Voyage stars a great cast, featuring Lance Henriksen and Judd Nelson. The movie involved a cruise ship called the "Corona Queen.", which disappeared in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. After 25 years, the ship returns. But, the ship did not returns..... alone. On board, seven people will encountered evil forces and spirits on the Corona Queen. Lost Voyage plays it out like a ordinary haunted house movie. This movie is a scary, yet creepy version of Ghost Ship, As for UFO Pictures, this is a modern good, well-directed horror movie that dares you to venture onto the haunted cruise ship alone. The movie is not jam-packed with clichés, but also developed a intense atmosphere and that atmosphere is stays in it's own place as the picture ventures into the heart of darkness on the ship. Lost Voyage has some good performances from Lance Henrikson and Judd Nelson. As haunted ship movies goes, Lost Voyage is a good one. ★★★ 3 stars.

I was kind of bored with this movie at the beginning. The acting by some of the characters isn't the best, to say the least. However, after about 30 minutes, things start to pick up. It wasn't a bad movie. The special effects, especially at the end, had me gripping my pillow without realizing it. ;-) Not many movies can garner that much suspense, but this was one of the more unique Bermuda triangle movies. Just wish it would've had a better plot... 6/10

It must be harder than it looks to make a movie set aboard an ocean liner. Gritty dramas ("Souls at Sea"), thrillers ("Across the Pacific") or oceanic tearjerkers ("Titanic" & its predecessors") have scored, but among ghost stories set aboard ship, the nearest to the mark have been "The Wreck of the Mary Deare" & "Pirates of the Caribbean"--and it's generous to count either one of them. "Lost Voyage" doesn't really try very hard but is simply another installment in the Bermuda Triangle genre. Florida paranormal researcher Aaron (Nelson) learns that the cruise ship Corona Queen, which vanished in 1979 with his father & new stepmother--inspiring him to become a ghosthunter--has reappeared in the Triangle. She's in the middle of a growing tropical storm, of course, which may sink her at any time. Though proclaiming his reluctance, he inevitably brings his ectospotting-gear (once again, Man bites God with Gear) on a salvage mission. They're led by veteran, no-nonsense seascrounger Shaw (Henriksen) & backed by a TV station that sends both washed-up anchor Dana (Janet Gunn) & catty star reporter Julie (Chorvat), with nervous cameraman Randall (Richard Gunn) caught between the rivals. Hard-edged, good-hearted sea mechanics Dazinger (Kober) & Fields (Sheppard) round out the fateful team with occasional but much-needed comic relief. Of course the Corona Queen is just as she was before but passengers & crew are gone--or are they? Will the team find its answers, prevail or escape before the intense storm overcomes the drifting liner? Or will their own personal demons & rivalries tear them apart? The carelessness & cheapness that plague most SciFi Channel originals are largely absent from "Lost Voyage," which features a story of unusual depth (the characters must each face personal demons as well as supernatural foes & their own rivalries) even if it is predictable. A competent cast helps, too. Nelson's Aaron is a driven, fearless nerd, not unlike Richard Dreyfuss's Hooper in "Jaws," but more suitably somber here. Henriksen, the greatest sci-fi/action character actor since Harry Dean Stanton, is as solid as ever, bringing both believability & color to the tale. Stuntwoman Gunn is capable enough as the alternately bitter & optimistic TV reporter whose devotion to her craft usually overcomes her selfish ambition. The effects are pretty good, not spectacular enough to overwhelm the story & actors, used sparingly enough to enhance rather than distract. If you've never, ever heard of the Flying Dutchman, the Marie Celeste or the Bermuda Triangle, you'll find this movie enjoyable enough as a ghost thriller. Otherwise it's crushingly predictable, offering absolutely nothing that hasn't been done many, many times before in literature & film. "Lost Voyage" teases us early on with parapsychological mumbo-jumbo but that part of the story trails off into nothing. Even the great spooky-spoof "Ghostbusters" helped us out with that ("That's a BIG Twinkie"). There's an inherent pathos to ships, especially big ones, a sense that they're irrevocably tied to the times in which they sailed. They are machines yet somehow alive, servants yet grandly awesome. "Titanic" made so much money because it captured that theme & used it well. A pity that no nautical ghost story has yet been able to do the same.

It's another ghost ship, a la Mary Celeste type mystery. The Corona Queen turns up after disappearing 30 years earlier. Quickly, a bunch of people that can't wait to get killed by ghosts form a rag-tag "research" group and sneak aboard to film the vessel and its secrets (they're not supposed to be there of course-big surprise).

One (Judd Nelson) is the son of of two passengers who vanished along with the ship; he's now an expert on Bermuda Triangle phenomena. There's a TV filming crew of 3, and a ship salvage team of 3, led by a guy who talks slow and creepily (Lance Henrikson). It's obvious who's gonna get it, and in which order. The movie does find some Twilight Zone type twists as the story progresses (like inner past guilt haunting the person), so the deaths are predicated on something, at least. (Somewhat better than one of those movies where victims scream "Oh my Gawd!" as they take turns getting axed.)

Nelson and Henrikson aren't bad, but neither is at his best here. Nelson's always bulging his eyes out; it almost looks like they'll burst out of his head at any moment (he could also use a better hair cut). The balance of the group are all unknowns who make good targets for the paranormal entities. The spooks are designed pretty well, and the movie wisely doesn't show them until the time is right.

Routine stuff, but delivered reasonably well.