Agente rojo

Wow... where to start... I'm still reeling from the experience of watching this piece of garbage and I think I'm permanently brain damaged after being exposed to it. Words cannot express how terrible this movie is. I don't care how bad that J. Lo movie "Gigli" is, it will not hold a candle to this waste of matter for pure crappiness. Dolph Lundgren is a marine -(who apparently is the only member of the entire US armed forces who can fly a stealth fighter in footage lifted from another crappy Dolph movie)- that must go board a sub in Russia so that some chemical weapon that the Russians stole from the Americans during the cold war can come back to the US. On board is Dolph's "ex-fiance", who aside from looking like a reject from a Ron Jeremy movie, is also possibly the worst actress to ever set foot on the planet. I had to look up this "actress" to see what other suckers have hired her for movies and found out two things.... 1. thankfully, she's not "in demand" and 2. Her shoddy acting is eclipsed only by her amazing spelling; I think her name is "Melanie" but it looks like some sort of indecipherable mumbo jumbo the way it is spelled. Anyway, I'm off track... this movie is pure crap.. not even one of those "watch with your friends after some herbal refreshment" movies... Everything from the recycled (and butchered) storyline of terrorists on a sub, where every possible cliche is used (and screwed up) to the awful performances, to the terrifyingly bad dialogue. This is the kind of movie that I think can be used as a torture device. There is one saving grace though, after watching the performances in this stinker, you'll be appreciating the master thespianism that is one Jean Claude Van Damme.

Maybe a 3.5 just for Meilani Paul

Part 6 of the Dolph-a-thon and I came across 'Agent Red' on a streaming site. Never seen before. Will never see again.

This is terrible. It had a low rating of 3/10 on IMDB so didn't expect much. It lived up to its billing!

The only plus point was Meilani Paul who looks fabulous.

Dolph is playful enough but this seems beneath him.

This plays out like a Sci-fi channel movie. Do you remember those?

Really cheap CGI and lots of stock footage It's very cheesey and cheap looking and leans more into the so bad it's good vibe It reminded me of those Die Hard knock offs that would have David Hasselhoff in!!!

I, personally can not recommend it Its poorly made and after a brief look online I saw it was filmed a few years prior to 2000 and shelved as it was not deemed good enough for release

Should have stayed shelved!

1/5 stars. Avoid.

I rented this DVD as "Agent Red" and maybe someone changed the title hoping someone would be fooled into renting it like I did. I fast forwarded looking for the good parts and didn't find any. The plot holes you could float an aircraft carrier through.

Did you know nuke submarines had concrete floors and walls?

Anyway, to illustrate how bad it is the best acting comes from none other than Randolph Mantooth. What more can I say?

Well the quote belongs to none other than Dolph Lundgren. And this is an understatement.

Dolph Lundgren stars as a naval officer who must keep a deadly virus out of terrorists hands.

I thought I was following Agent Red well until I saw "Dolph Lundgren" steal an aircraft which is footage from the startlingly routine Storm Catcher. This scene is more stylish and overall better than anything else in the film plus the guy is 5'11 Dolph is 6'5! This is incompetent filmmaking at it's worst. Avoid this like the plauge because once exposed you cannot survive.

1/2* (Out of four)

Yes you negative reviewers heard me right, I Own This film on VHS, I got it from the Blockbuster Bargain bin for $5. Why I injoyed it I'm a Huge Action fan, I own the first 3 American Ninja's and the first No retreat No Surrender as well. I think you should give Dulph Some credit for trying to make a good action piece it's just not everybody's cup of tea that's all, I give it a 4*'s out of 5*'s rating. PS: Don't go near Micheal Duddikoff's Crash Dive if you don't like Agent Red you'd loath it!!!