Matanza

I should start by saying that "Carnage" was my introduction into Andy Milligan films. Not only are his films just terrible, but they are actually a lot of fun to watch, if you can get yourself prepared for them. "Carnage' is definitely no different. With some of the worst acting and special effects ever, I found quite a lot to like about this grade "Z" film.

The story starts with a couple living in a somewhat mansion. Something terrible has happened as they both kill each other in a loving? embrace. A year passes and the house is sold to a newly wed couple. Instantly, things aren't how they should be as objects move by themselves. Things start out on the subtle side but then get worse as people start dying. Some in rather gruesome form.

This is probably the worst haunted house movie ever made. The objects that move around are obviously used by strings and the sort. But that isn't what makes the special effects so bad. There is a few scenes that are in question here. Example: two burglars brake into the basement of the house in the middle of the night. When weird things start happening, one of the burglars starts climbing out of a window. An axe floats towards his hand and hits him with just the handle. Magically, his hand falls off in a bloody mess. Also, a scene where a priest is running out of the house and a butcher knife hits him in the shoulder, the next scene the butcher knife is in his head. This is the type of silliness you see in the movie.

The acting is pretty boring. I don't know if this is the actors fault as they weren't given much to work with and let's face it, Andy Milligan is just not a good director. Anyone acting under his directing is not going to exactly shine. It is this problem that makes the movie mostly slow and uninteresting if you aren't ready for it.

Altogether, this was a bad movie. It doesn't mean it wasn't fun, it was just bad. It is the type of film you get some friends together with and watch to crack jokes with. 6/10

Amityville Horror "Z" grade rip-off, but it's fun! Really, the film is just terrible but it really does have it's moments, a few funny lines between characters, and it takes itself seriously without over doing it with seriousness.

I really expected this one to have me rolling my eyes at the stupidity - but instead I was able to kick back and enjoy the movie. It's awful but in a good way. I find that my favorite characters are both of the parents of the couple living in the house... they are quite a trip to watch, funny.

The movie is really only worth a 4 at best - but I did like it quite a bit and had fun watching so I have to give it a 6 out of 10 stars.

6/10

Carnage (1984)

** (out of 4)

Carol (Leslie Den Dooven) and Jonathan (Michael Chiodo) are a newly married couple who move into their dream home but they have no idea what horrors await them. What they don't know is that a previous newlywed couple did a murder/suicide inside the home and their ghosts are still there.

Andy Milligan returned to the director's chair after a six year hiatus and delivered what is basically a rip-off on THE AMITYVILLE HORROR. Milligan has a small cult following but there's an even bigger group that downright hates his movies. I must admit that while this here didn't contain a single original moment it was at least somewhat well-made and there's no question that Milligan throws in enough curve balls to make sure he holds your interest.

The best thing going for the film is that Milligan has some rather good (considering their budget) special effects and some really wacky death scenes. There are all sorts of objects that float around and it's easy to see how these effects were done but at the same time you have to somewhat smile at the attempt and delivery. The highlight is a scene where an axe floats up to a woman and chops her head off (a mannequin obviously used) as well as another attack dealing with scissors and some of the worst looking fake guts that you're ever going to see.

The film actually looks professionally shot, which isn't something you could say for most of Milligan's work. The cinematography was actually good and I'd argue that it has a pretty good flaw, although there's no question that at times the low-budget nature shows its head. Still, the performances are better than you normally get in this type of film and Milligan, obviously knowing about the slasher craze, throws in some gory death scenes. CARNAGE isn't a great movie or even a good one but it's certainly much better than a lot of the films from this era.

I bet this film had a great poster. They must've spent the money on something.

This is an ultra-cheap knockoff of films like The Amityville Horror and Poltergeist. It's about a newly-wed couple who move into a new house in which the previous tenants – another newly-wed couple – died in a sort of suicide pact. It's not exactly like this is an original concept. The problem Carnage has primarily is that its ambition vastly outstrips its budget and talent. There are many, many ghostly occurrences depicted but 90% of them seem to be bits of furniture and gardening equipment moving slightly. Scary kettle! Scary paper! Scary candle! It's basically atrocious. There are a few gore scenes spliced into the story to liven things up but they are not exactly convincing; especially the scene where the burglar is disembowelled – his guts looks suspiciously like Chinese noodles. None of this would matter so much but the pacing of the film is bad and the overall effect is one of boredom.

It's difficult to recommend this unfortunately.

I love Carnage. When I picked it up at a flea market I was a bit leery of it because the box touted itself as a horror/comedy. It couldn't be further from the truth...it's a quite serious horror film, the only thing that will induce chuckles is the outlandishly silly special effects (so silly, in fact, it looks almost as if it were made to look cheap on purpose). Bad acting, dorky-looking ghosts, possessed household appliances, skitzophenic mother-in-laws and lotsa lotsa blood n' guts equals one hell of a good B-movie session. The ending reminded me of the one from VIDEODROME somehow. No idea why, though.

Very hard to find, but worth every second of the search for addicts of horrible cinema such as myself.

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