Un asesino para su majestad

This is the most stupid movie I have seen. Is's about a hired murderer who eats candy while killing people, and always leaves a piece of the candy-paper behind. And the music.... Well, you have to see and hear it to believe it. I can't put words on it. The name of the movie says it all: The Killer likes candy!!! See it if you have the chance.

I was not sure what to expect when I began watching this one. I was half expecting another James Bond ripoff; however, this one stands on its own merit as there are some things about this that resembles a Bond film, but for the most part it is its own thing. It is not a very good film mind you, but it is a pretty interesting view as the main guy who is on a security detail in this film and his buddy are a bit of a charismatic pair so they keep the film fun even though the plot is not the best as it is a bit too obvious what is going on and there is a lack of anything really going on.

The story has a man sniping a guy while he is escorting a king through the streets. The man shot was in charge of the King's security. A new guy is put in charge and he is on the case as he learns the killer likes candy! That really is not as important as the title makes it out to be, but I must admit it is a catchy title.

Like I said I thought the main guy and his sidekick carried this film. The assassin is pretty good as he has the looks of a former Nazi. Usually films like this have very attractive girls, this one doesn't quite have super hot girls, but there are a couple of nice ones. Mainly all the ones the sidekick has with him.

So, it is a fun film, but just not all that good considering the sum of its parts. It could use a few more action pieces a few less scenes of nothing really going on. Usually you get nice locales in a film like these, but most of the places are bland. Thankfully the stars in this keep the film fun for the most part.

This shoddy Italian crime film perfectly captures the feel of a five cent pulp novel: some detectives with a cool names (James Steele? I can't remember...) protects a middle east king from being murdered by political opponents. The evil doers have hired the world's number one hit man for the job, a perfectionist loner who for some reason eats candy all the time. The ingredients for the film are the following: 1) a lot of fighting 2) a lot of badly written "tough" dialouge 3) a little bit of conspiracy 4) a little bit of sex, and 5) an awesome easy listening soundtrack complete with "ba-di-ba-daba-da" choruses. The running gag is that the happy-go-lucky/comical relief detective time after time tries to get it on with a cute nurse, but always gets interrupted by the I'm-a-serious-motherf**ker detective. The Killer Likes Candy is OK pulp, I guess, but I must admit I was getting a little bit bored near the end. Never the less, I can think of far worse ways to have spent 90 minutes of my life.

5/10 - for the soundtrack, dear...

Really bland James Bond-lite European piece about an American government agent assigned to be the head of security for the king of Kafiristan after one of his comrades takes an assassin's bullet meant for the king. Sensitivites arise as the U.S. is looking to sign a lucrative contract with the oil rich country which needs him alive at least until the the deal is signed. Thankfully this was made forty years before Hollywood decided to make Americans the bad guy in all energy concerns but I digress. Enter "Angel Face" Mark Stone who spends his free-time pretending to be a fashion photographer which is funny because I do the very same thing when I go to the mall. Mark is the strictly business CIA agent that is tasked with hunting down a hit-man with a sweet tooth. At least this is what the film chooses to focus on as the candy thing is more of a quirk than a calling card to anyone who stumbles upon one of his victims. The killer is Oscar Snell, a former Nazi, who really makes a lot of mistakes for a professional assassin. His numerous attempts on the king's life all fail which spoils the confrontation between Stone and himself. Numerous fights scenes are clumsily spliced together as Stone must outsmart a small army sent to dispatch him and his partner Costa who does a decent job as the girl-crazy comic relief. Not a whole lot of beauties to ogle either as this is a skin-free film that offers very little titillation which is rare for these kind of movies. The late sixties lounge musak score is so inappropriate in the shootout scenes that it's almost comedic when watching it. Complete with "bada-dada-da's" it's the kind of music which should accompany Mark prancing through a field of lilies. On the positive side "Killer" makes great use of the unique landscape like a shootout in a park lined with large ancient sculptures and a battle in the catacombs of a church. I really started to get bored towards the end as I struggled to focus on how Mark was going to capture Snell which ends anticlimactically as well mind you. If you're looking to be satisfied eat a Snickers instead and skip this candy.

Stupid as it may sound, it's almost unthinkable that this simple & straightforward crime-thriller could still be made today, and this for an utmost dumb fact. The titular killer leaves candy wrappings (the dude's sole vice is a sweet tooth) at the scene of practically every crime, and nowadays it would be "not-done" for any character - hero or villain - to litter. You know, what with the environment and all?

Am I exaggerating? Perhaps, but it also somewhat demonstrates that "The Killer Likes Candy" is a very mundane and forgettable late '60s thriller. I watched it less than 48 hours ago, and already I have trouble remembering the plot and the denouement. It's entertaining enough while it lasts, merely thanks to a few exhilarating action sequences and a handful of adequate performances, but overall this is a weak effort. No-nonsense American hero Mark Stone gets assigned to protect the king of Kafiristan during his diplomatic stay in Italy, after a previous assassination attempt resulted in the death of his regular bodyguard. The hired killer is the stoic and introvert Oscar Snell, and his instructors clearly don't have a lot of confidence in him, since they additionally send a small army of goons (including Cameron Mitchell) out to neutralize Mark. Good aspects of the film include the majority of settings and filming locations (Rome, Venice, ...), the swinging soundtrack and two or three death sequences (burned alive, electrocuted, ...). The film is far too slow-paced, however, and the inexperienced director Frederico Chentrens doesn't manage to generate the least bit of suspense.