La mística tienda de las maravillas de Merlín

This is a truly magical episode of MST3K. Though the movie itself is stupid beyond telling, the episode is arguable the most funny I`ve ever seen. My dad thinks it is anyhow. From the opening lines thrown out by Mike and the `Bots ("Let`s predict some crap" "I forsee I`m gonna get hammered" "Is there a cheaper vodka than Popov?" "The ants have been screwing with her like that for years") to the part when Jonathan confronts Merlin ("I bid you lick me") to when Jonathan fights his cat ("So the cat`s flesh was roasted" "No Grandpa, no!" "Sit down, you`re gonna listen- The cat`s flesh melted, the horrible screams!" "No grandpa!" "Heh heh") to the cheesy 80s part ("Yep, that first morning beer is always the best!") and the priceless finishing line, which is so memorable that it begs full transcription. Contrary to what some of these commentators have said here (and I`m not blaming them), Crow, not Servo, says "Remember to believe in magic...Or I`ll kill you." This episode truly made me believe in magic.

Really....this is a hilarious MST3K episode...this film must have been made for MST3K one would like to think. But as that is not the case I can only say: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! How did this movie ever get made? I love bad movies...but this is something beyond anything I've ever seen. THat it's from 1996 is also something I cannot believe. Who in their right mind joins a project like this? The biggest mystery in this movie is how the hell someone authorized it and got actors to actually play in it (of course..not all of them seem to do so) This is just ...a huge mystery of a film. I thank MST3K for showing it to me. It's really a gem amongst hugely crappy films. It's nice to see how bad a movie actually can get. Someone should really have made documentary about this movie and interviewed the people behind it. It would really solve one of the worlds biggest mysteries. Even the title of the movie is totally messed up. It should be "MERLIN'S SHOP OF KILLER TOYS" But..oh that would probably make it seem more predictable...uhm?

"Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders" is too dark to be a children's movie and too cute to be a horror flick. Which makes it perfect "Mystery Science Theater 3000" fodder! An incompetent mixture of "Poltergeist" and any wizard movie, it makes one wonder how they got a great actor like Ernest Borgnine on board. Although the movie has 1996 as its date, a large portion of it looks as though it was filmed at least ten years earlier (a very corny '80s look).

As for the "MST3K" version, jokes naturally abound. I don't remember which jeers came from Mike, Servo or Crow, but someone notes that Merlin probably shouldn't ask women if they've seen his monkey! And when the ground starts caving in, one of them declares that Bugs Bunny must have missed that left turn at Albuquerque! Among the famous people who get mentioned are Tom Bosley, Madeline Albright, Bella Abzug and Linda Blair. So just stick with the "MST3K" version and you'll be fine.

Yeah, she did look kinda like Julie Hagerty.

This movie is among one of the worst anyone has ever seen. Even Plan 9 from Outer Space has its funny points (all-be-them not intentional.) This movie is perhaps one of the worst movies ever made. From a film point of view, the movie has no tangible benefits what so ever. The film starts out with a grandfather telling a child a story about Merlin. What he failed to mention to his grandson is that Merlin is a complete and utter bumbling old man with a wife reminiscent of Roseanne. The movie then goes to show Merlin and his magical shop, and then, it goes to a completely different setting, and switches back and forth between Merlin's shop, and the different settings of the story. Both stories are supposed to be about " How the people find folly in there own pathetic human ways and are grateful to Merlin." When they are really about " How that old weirdo screwed us over and destroyed our families forever with his stupid shop." You might say " Well didn't Merlin warn them?" Yes, I'm sure he did, but them being stereo typical 80's men and women, where magic cannot exist and " Dollar Good', they of course did not listen. In the end, this movie is only recommended to those who enjoy mind-numbing stupidity and rip offs of other poorly made movies. ( I.E. Dead Time Stories, Troll 2.) This movie receives a 2, and that's only because of the pity felt for the fact it cannot be shot and put out of its misery.

This "movie" seems to be little more than several different movies patched together. And in a sense, it is. Things start out with some old lady at an ouiji board whose house catches fire. Then after about six minutes, it turns out this is just some TV show some kid is watching while his grandfather (Ernest Borgnine in what may be the lowest point of his career since "The Devil's Rain") sits on a couch nearby. When the power in the house goes out Grandpa Borgnine proceeds to tell the kid some fractured and disturbing story loosely connected to Merlin the Magician, who has transported himself to the present day and opened a shop. Despite being the title character, Merlin does little in the movie except release evil artifacts into the world and collect them later while getting nagged by his irritating wife (If that's what she is. Their relationship is never really made clear in the movie).

The first part of this fractured story involves a cranky newspaper reviewer who is unimpressed with Merlin's shop and threatens Merlin with a most vicious review. Merlin retaliates by giving him a book of spells which turns the obnoxious reviewer into an old man and then a baby. Merlin's revenge, I guess.

The second tale involves an evil toy monkey who gets stolen from Merlin's shop and ends up being bought by a family from the early 1980's. The monkey has the ability to cause untold damage and evil by clapping the little cymbals in its hands. This segment was actually a 20 minute excerpt from a movie from 1984 called "The Devil's Gift" which was then clumsily inserted into this film. This is why this particular tale has no setup or conclusion, making the movie even more confusing than it already was. "The Devil's Gift" is apparently out of print and hopefully they won't use the MST3K exposure as an excuse to reissue it.

Along the way, a goldfish dies, a cat is burned alive, a trapped dog dies after inhaling toxic smoke from a fire set in the garage and a woman has a rather frank conversation with her friend about her fertilization problems which has left her unable for her and her cranky husband to have a baby. And this is supposed to be a kid's film! This is either the darkest kids film ever or the most ineffective horror film ever. If you really want to give the kids nightmares, show them this movie before sending them to bed.

This movie will most likely be remembered as the "lost" episode of MST3K. The airing of this particular episode was delayed five months because of rights problems with the movie. After watching this movie, I have to wonder why any sane person would actually want the rights to this stinkburger in the first place! Just another painful reminder of how much we'll miss MST3K.