Pánico en alta mar

FINAL VOYAGE is a hilarious DIE HARD-on-a-ship type film that comes to us courtesy of Z-grade movie specialist Jim Wynorski. This one throws a mixed cast into a story that happily copies the likes of UNDER SIEGE et al with the only difference that this is a B-movie through and through; expect trite dialogue and wooden acting throughout. Plus any large-budget scene is typically stock footage stolen from an older and better movie.

The film's unorthodox hero is Dylan Walsh, playing a bodyguard caught up in a hostage situation. Walsh is best known for playing geeky scientist types in the likes of CONGO so his heroic turn here is a little odd. He's given support by Ice-T, playing himself as always, as the chief bad guy, and Claudia Christian as a memorably hot femme fatale. Erika Eleniak plays EXACTLY the same role as she did in UNDER SIEGE except without the nudity. Stephen Macht is the ship's captain and the hulking Michael Bailey Smith one of the henchmen.

It says something about Wynorski's talents as a director that I can call this one of his better films despite it being low par throughout. At least the pacing is fast and the action scenes are fun if laughable, so you can sit back and enjoy the cheese. It also helps that I have a high tolerance for DIE HARD rip-offs so it doesn't take much to entertain me. There's no denying that FINAL VOYAGE is a cheap and cheesy film though.

Don't waste your time. Amateurish at its worst.

Poor plot, pathetic script and even worse acting.

Nothing is realistic at all, who was in charge of continuity should never work again. Production was the cheapest they could could get on everything. CGI was very poor, but nothing was worse than Ice T's performance.

I'm very surprised that the actors got any work after this due to their inability to actually act.

Even the ending is flawed and makes you so happy that it has finally ended.

If you are considering watching this, please don't, go and watch Sesame Street, the acting is better and more believable and the stories are better than this garbage.

Gloria (Erika Eleniak) is a rich man's daughter and, therefore, requires a bodyguard. Since she is just a tad ornery, the security men come and go. Aaron (Dylan Walsh), who used to guard an aging Hollywood leading lady (Barbara Eden), has just been hired by Gloria's father to watch over his gorgeous, young offspring. Things do not get off to a good start when Gloria takes Aaron on a private plane ride and they narrowly miss crashing the aircraft. But, more excitement is around the corner. Gloria insists on taking a cruise on a refurbished old ship, The Queen Mary, where all of the beautiful people will be. Aaron, who "hates to travel", is unhappy about the trip yet, he must go along. On the vessel, also, is the wealthy businessman who provided the funds to spruce up the ship, as well as a hotshot football player and a lovely television journalist, who has a past with Aaron. But, wait, that's not the whole guest list! A terrorist thug named Josef (Ice T), his tough-as-nails girlfriend, Max (Claudia Christian) and his gang are on board, too, to steal the jewels and artwork that some of the passengers put in the ship's safe, since they couldn't sail off without their Van Goghs! Josef has a plan and a large arsenal of weapons. Will he succeed in carrying out his pilfering, without damaging the ship, of course? This is just a terrible film that sinks and stinks, from the first moment to the last. That is not to say the nice cast, including the good-looking Walsh, the lovely Eleniak, and the sullen Ice-T don't try to breathe life into the thing....they do try. But, not enough. The script is one abysmal cliché after another and the direction and editing are horrible, too. All right, the costumes are fine, are you happy? Especially so is the hot little blue number Eleniak wears through most of the second half. Therefore, if you are a fan of any of the cast members, you are certainly within your rights to rent this film. Why not show the movie at a gathering of couples, where everyone can laugh, jeer, and throw things at the screen? It would certainly make for an "alternative" party experience.

Firstly the fact they had to steal scenes from another film to make it look good speaks a lot. I found the acting to be terrible and not up to much. It was cheesy and the script was not good either and didn't mix with the Action. It's a shame because I think Dylan Walsh is a pretty good actor but just not her he was flat and that same thing goes for ice t who is also not bad but seeing him as a villian seemed off and not really in his nature. Walsh is demoted to a cruise ship looking after a young woman after endangering people on a plane, but supposed modern day pirates want what's in the vault. It's just lacklustre this film and I feel it could've been likable but sadly it didn't come to anything.

This movie made little sense. The acting sucked and the story needed a overhaul. The few things I did like about this film where wasted. First the cast. Claudia Christian's a babe and her character was pretty good as kick ass hitwoman. Erika Eleniak also a babe but she's done this gig before(in "Under Siege" and is 1000 times better than this). Next the production. It pi**es me off to see dumb movies wasting good FX and vehicles. I don't know how but they had a C-130 cargo plane to parachute from, during the day(Gees sutle). A night drop would have been much more stealthy. Hey, if you watch closely during the drop, one of the parachutist looses his diving mask. I won't go into tactical FUBARs in the theives operation(which there are many). I never saw theives dress in matching uniform either. Damn that ship sure came apart after the first explosion. Too many explosion for no reason. And the ballroom explosion was footage from "Deep Rising". Bottomline: with some work this could have been a good movie instead of stinker.