El arca de Noé

I saw the coming attractions about 2-3 months before this aweful

movie came out! i was so excited. After watching NBC's "Merlin"

and "The Odyssey" i expected the network to do the same for

Noah's Ark.

I had my tape all ready to record(and keep) this movie. Instead

when i saw part 1, i was completely disgusted!! The acting was

horrible! Some of the effects were cheesy! And most of all, the

writers screwed up the bible!! They completely turned everything

around! The scenes and script did not make any sense. many of

the scenes in the movie were not according to the bible.

After seeing a scene in part 2 in which Noah and his family goes

completely bonkers, i shut that VCR off and turned the channel!!

The actors for the most part were just terrible! Of all the movies to

act in Jon Voight had to act in this mess (all for money i guess)!

Mary Steenburgen(why her!!!) was just completely boring and

irritating; same for Carol Kane as Lot's wife ("I want to see!! I want

to see!! ) I do not know why NBC picked these and actors that

were in the movie.

Anyway, i finally had a chance to say what i wanted to say about

this "Noah's Ark". from a rating of 1-10, i give it a big fat ZERO!!

Don't waste your time on this boring trash!!!!

With all of the advertising, I thought this movie would be something that my child and I could watch and experience the glory of God on film, such as with "The Ten Commandments" and "Prince of Egypt". Yet, as I sat down and began to view this...... motion picture, I had to put my four-year old daughter in another room so I could prevent Peter Barnes and NBC from tearing down what God is building up.

I could not believe the way this film portrayed the historical first act of God's anger against mankind. The ONLY correct things in this..... motion picture was the name of the main character, and the kind of water vessel that was built. In the Word (the BIBLE), Noah's wife has no name, his sons are MARRIED to those women, it rained FORTY days (not one, and they lounged on a 'deck' for 39), there was no deck and no flag on the Ark, the water took FIVE MONTHS to recede, and there were NO other survivors but the eight people on the Ark. Oh, and by the way, Noah did not closed the door on the Ark - God did.

At the beginning of the movie, I believe there was a caption that said that the story was conformed to fit into todays' society. My God, this last day we live in needs the true and unadulterated Word of God more than ever before!! The devil himself was behind this project, and he used Peter Barnes to down-size a very pertinent part of end-time prophecy. In this film, it leads people to believe that God tolerates outright sin, and that is a lie. Shackers, alcoholics, murderers, and fornicators did not dwell on the ark, neither did INSANITY. It was also made to appear as if Noah's conscience was speaking in this film instead of the voice of God. The Creator of the Heavens and the Earth is NOT a punk, unlike His adversary.

So, the next time the decision is made to bring the Bible to the box office, please READ it first.

I now know what eternity would be like. This incredible mess occupied four hours I will never get back. My kids wanted to watch it. They liked the animals. I am no Old Testament scholar, but the way the script played fast and loose with the details, was really disappointing. I'm sure all of us remember Lot! He's the guy who left the city of Sodom with his wife. She looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. I never realized he kept her finger in a jar after that. I also didn't know that he later became a pirate and tried to board the ark. If Noah had gone up the mountain to get the Ten Commandments, I wouldn't have been surprised. You can imagine a screenwriter, trying to adapt about two Bible chapters into a four hour mini-series. Still, with imagination and effort, it could have worked. The characters are ridiculous. This has got to be the lowest that Mary Steenbergen has gone. Her character is a mawkish idiot, spouting 1960's June Cleaver dialogue. Noah, played by John Voight, is a buffoon, and then they have these three sons who shovel dung and complain. Except for Japhet, who is the artist. He sits around and ponders. One of them develops a ventriloquist act and talks to an orange for about an hour. The animals are superimposed using computer graphics but not very well. I know it is a mini-series, but visually it is awful.

Most of the film involves the Noah family sitting around being bored. There is this thing about not putting a rudder on the boat so they are floating around, as if they knew where they were going anyway. The Lord was my favorite. He had this silly conversational voice, somewhat indecisive and flippant, sort of like George Burns. The scene where the whole family goes temporarily insane is when I finally gave up. I am as open minded as the next person, but I'd like to hear some sort of justification for this mess. Was it entirely tongue in cheek? Did I miss the whole point because no-one was supposed to be serious. Oh, well, I am interested to see other comments about this thing.

This story was great story to read from the bible it was one of my most favorite stories that I heard coming from Sunday school in church. But that was in the year of 1981. I am now 27 years old and happily married.

I was excited to rent a movie that I just knew I would love knowing that it was my most favorite story to hear when I was a child.

As I was watching the movie I notice the character of Lot.

Noah must of been really old For at that time if Lot was living Noah was 2,458 years old. Now it is recorded that Noah lived to be 950 years old. My question is how is it that Noah was alive at the same time Lot was alive? Impossible! And While I am on the subject of Lot, yes, he had a wife named Sarah, but what happened to his two daughters? As I look at my facts I see that the writer got Noah and Abram confused. It was Abram who rescued Lot and Lot's family(wife and two daughters.)Lot's wife name was Sarah the writer got that right. In the movie I noticed that the writer left out the two daughters that Lot had. How sad... We know that Lot was living in the time of Sodom and Gomorrah. Which should tell you that when this tragic occurrence happen it was at least 2,458 years later after the flood. This writer said in his story of Noah that Sodom and Gomorrah happened before. Again, Impossible! My only thoughts on this is I hope and pray that the writer can learn from his misinformation he presented in this movie. And I encourage the writer to read the Holy Bible. The book of Genesis.

Funniest film I've seen in a long time (albeit unintentionally so). Loved the pirates chasing the ark - I expected eye-patches, peg-legs, parrots calling "Pieces of eight, pieces of eight", &c. Perhaps they were using an old Monty Python script.

Bad guys don't wear black hats in this film; instead they have rotten teeth.

I read an article by an extra (Jonathan Biggins) in "The Sydney Morning Herald" in which he said the cheetah (or some other "wild" cat) earned more on the shoot than he did. This says something for the production values of this film.

Yea and verily, my brothers and sisters, behold a Grade-One Turkey. Question is - is it SO bad that it will earn cult status?