Repligator

I mean, look at the cover. You know what you're getting into. It's trash and it's aware of being trash. The acting is horrible, the script is basically non-existent and almost the entire movie was shot in a few days in a dingy studio. But it's still worth watching if you're into really bad movies.

There's one hilariously out of place establishing shot in the first third of the movie. It's CGI, to be precise: It's mid 90s CGI on a very tight budget. It's utterly mind bending, especially when a pixelated car which consists of at least 20 polygons drives through the shot.

I almost died laughing watching this scene for the first time, because it feels both alien and stupid. Then the "plot" continues and the rest of the movie alternates between bad dialogue, terrible action sequences and excessive nudity. Just what you'd expect from a movie with a cover like this.

Still, there's something admirable about this film. I enjoyed it, but also felt violated by the sheer stupidity of this project. I mean, it's about repligators.

I have challenged my masochistic urge to sit through the worst of moviedom's offerings. What does not kill you makes you stronger, right? Wrong. I'm now convinced it makes you stupider for having gone through it in the first place. I love movies. I love b-movies. I even love bad movies and making my friends sit very uncomfortably through them. But after watching 'Repligator' I've come to the unpleasant conclusion that apparently I don't love myself at all. 'Repligator' is beyond terrible and there is no thesaurus big enough to list the many ways in which 'Repligator' is awful, terrible, bad ...

Filmed with extreme cheapness (was this project a tax write-off? was it some kind of scam to con government film-funding and other private investors?) and a level of professionalism well-suited to semi-evolved chimpanzees, 'Repligator' fails in every possible category of film. Name one and it fails. The music is distractingly awful and completely out of place. The writing is awful. The acting is beyond cheesy. Or maybe it is just so ... minimalist in its approach that IT DOESN'T EXIST. Direction, editing, camera work, special effects -- nothing works in this film and the whole thing seems like an exercise in how to make stupid people (me for watching) pay for their stupidity (me for watching) with the most pain (me by watching). Even if you're a fan of gratuitous nudity (and there is plenty) it isn't worth it.

There are no redeeming qualities, save for one: 'Repligator' is clear proof that no matter how low-budget, no matter how bad your film can be, there IS a sucker born every minute. Many of those suckers have money. Find them, milk them for everything you can, and you too can make a movie.

I am watching this as I write. I am a great fan of B-grade sci-fi movies. If you are not like me, avoid this like the plague.

The acting is not quite as bad as your average porno, and the nudity is gratuitous.

The question of having a load of military men transformed into nymphomaniac women that lust after their formerly co-gendered colleagues caused a bit of mental squeamishness.

And then there's that "From Dusk To Dawn"-esque plot twist at the halfway point: "She experienced a prehistoric orgasm that stretched her genetic code. Now we have Gator-Babe".

Pure genius.

This film is a great farce, professionally done and worth seeing.

As the title suggests this 1996 movie was very much ahead of its time.

Look if you're looking for spectacular graphics and beautiful scenery then go watch Oppenheimer. This movie is like a teenage boys fever dream. It's weird, it makes no sense and it has boobs in it.

I laughed within the first 30 seconds of the film and it wasn't a snort of derision, it was a real laugh. It's obvious to me, but apparently lost on the other reviewers to this film, that the whole thing was made for fun and stupidity.

It probably cost next to nothing to make and it looks like the actors are having a laugh. So don't be an idiot, don't judge this as if it was high art because it so obviously isn't.

Lastly this is for all the naysayers out there, cough, nogodnomasters, paul haakenson. Apparently have not seen this hidden gem yet. But one thing I do know, they will "stumble" upon this gem and give their "expert" opinions. Just remember I was here first. I am waiting gents. Until then- I won!