Neon Maniacs

Beware! The gates of Heck have been thrown open, unleashing the NEON MANIACS!

Virtually immortal and unstoppable, these freakish creatures are immune to anything that might be used against them. Except for one rare and mysterious chemical known as...

H-2-O!

If only there was some of this stuff around they could be thwarted, but nay! If only someone had a squirt gun, or a bucket, or a damp sponge!

Instead, these maniacs shall conquer the globe!

Thankfully, three teens are on the case, including a horror-obsessed girl who tracks the monsters to their lair. Under a bridge. Feet away from a bay. Full of H-2-O!

If you've been pining away for the 1980's, here they are in all their glory! The clothes! The hair! The overly-sterile production values! All here!

WARNING: Nothing can possibly prepare you for the brain-evaporating "Battle of the Bands" sequence! Nothing! It's so wretchedly inept as to cause boils and cranial bruising in the viewer!

On a positive note, the maniac masks are pretty cool. If only this movie had given them a good reason to wear them...

A group of slow-moving, inter-dimensional maniacs, each with their own unique look and method of killing, emerge from under The Golden Gate Bridge at night to prey on the people of San Francisco. Having witnessed the creatures at work, high school students Natalie (Leilani Sarelle) and Steven (Clyde Hayes), aided by teenage monster movie fan Paula (Donna Locke), find themselves targeted by the maniacs and are forced to fight back with water as their only means of defence (despite the colourful killers living next to a river, plain old H20 proves to be deadly to them!).

When Neon Maniacs was first released on VHS, I thought it was junk, writer Mark Patrick Carducci failing to do his rather intriguing basic premise justice, director Joseph Mangine compounding matters with his uninspired direction, and the cast giving dreadful performances all round. Having recently given the film the benefit of a re-watch, I still think it's junk, but at least it now has the advantage of being nostalgic junk, the horrible clothes, nasty hairstyles, crappy effects, and awful pop/rock music (particularly during a terrible battle-of-the-bands scene) providing a reasonably fun time despite the overall technical shoddiness. Steve's hideous jacket; Natalie's big hair; Paula wearing her Nostromo baseball cap at a silly angle; the nasty neon tubing backdrop to Steve's band: it's delightfully dated elements like these that just about made this one worth watching.

5.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 6 for the trip down memory lane (the 80s were worse than I remembered), a couple of gloopy melting maniacs, and Leilani Sarelle in her swimming cossie.

Do you ever hanker after a piece of disposable 80's horror? I know I do and Neon Maniacs was perfect for that. The story is that a girl sees all her friends brutally murdered by the neon maniacs and the maniacs start appearing trying to kill her. She doesn't let it interfere with getting a tan or going to the battle of the bands though.

It's hard to know what the maniacs themselves are supposed to be but possibly think Hellraiser's Cenobites but without the effects and instead with a bit of carpet stuck to their heads.

There's an 80's battle of the bands (both bands are naturally abysmal), an attractive female lead and some mild monster mayhem. What more could you ask for from an 80's horror flick? An actual ending would be nice I suppose but you can't have it all.

Definitely worth a watch though if you're in the right mood.

A group of teenagers in San Francisco are attacked by homicidal monsters living under the Golden Gate Bridge and set out to prove they are real.

Despite its faults, logic, editing, pace and such director Joseph Mangine's ambitious Neon Maniacs counter balances its short comings. Larry Odien, Allan A. Apone and Douglas J. White's make up and practical effects are surprisingly good and the period music score is creatively ominous. To Neon's credit Mangines creates some jump moments notably the bus scene.

Paula played by actress Donna Locke (who has disappeared off the planet) has a cute Goonie appeal. Leilani Sarelle's Natalie is a solid lead and not surprisingly went on to do bigger thing. The rest of the cast give typical 80s low budget hammy performances.

In retrospect writers Mark Patrick Carducci's ambiguous origins of the Neon Maniacs adds to the films appeal and although uneven with more style over substance it deserves it cult status if only for the 80's nostalgia, it's monsters 'cool' factor and surreal atmosphere.

See, there are these twelve Neon Maniacs who live under the Golden Gate bridge and come out at night to kill people. No reason really, they just do. Natalie (Leilani Sarelle) sees all of her partying friends offed by this gnarly group but no one will believe her because the only thing left at the scene of the crime is some neon goo. Insert Steven (Alan Hayes), a fellow high school student who has the hots for Natalie, and Paula (Donna Locke), a young horror obsessed tomboy, to form a trio of folks who the cops won't listen to.

This NEON MANIACS madness is really something and plays with the same logic of the home movies I made when I was a 12-year-old. Sad when you realize director Joseph Mangine was in his 50s when he made this. We never get any history on the titular creatures or learn why they are so intent on tracking our leads. But we do know they melt when water gets on them (you listening M. Night?). I guess you could get away with stuff like this in the 80s if you throw some slime around, which this film does plenty of. Probably the only film in the history of cinema to have the heroes discussing ways to off the monsters and one says, "Hey, isn't the battle of the bands tonight? We can do it there!" Insert two dueling bands (new wave vs. heavy metal) duking it out while the Maniacs converge on the school. The film ends with the hope of a NEON MANIACS II and I'm still, like, totally waiting.