Si no te casas, me mato

I saw this in the movies. I think it was the one and only time in my entire life I've fallen asleep in public. But that might have been my date. Either way, this movie was terrible. Now, I've seen it again. It wasn't just age or what was going on with my life - or who I was with. This is a terrible movie. The two lead characters who are supposed to be best friends are mean to each other and do not communicate clearly. Joe, the lead "male" and writer of the movie, dresses like a girl - complete with headband and dresses and leggings. In fact, he dresses like a little girl in the 1980's. The lead woman, played by SJP, who I can never hate, is just not likable. Nor does she make sense. One second she likes Ben Stiller's pointless character, the next she's rolling her eyes at him like the rest of us. The base story is interesting and one of my favorites, I won't spoil what that is, but suffice it to say there was plenty of potential. This movie doesn't carry it off. The editing is bad - but perhaps that's mostly the fault of a shallow script and unlikeable characters. The actors can't be faulted. They do their best with virtually no material.

"If Lucy Fell" tells of a man and woman who have known each other since childhood, live together platonically, and are both single and looking for love unsuccessfully. Hmmm...what do you suppose is going to happen??

Schaeffer's shot at telling this old no-brainer in "If Lucy Fell" doesn't distinguish itself in any way and though it has it's moments they are few and far between. The film has many deficits with the most obvious being the lack of sincere sentiment and the usual gushing emotional crescendo at the end. What sentiment there is seems forced and awkward. A so-so little indie romcom which is watchable but not recommendable. (C)

...to Eric Schaeffer, but he's not the leading man type. He's a decent actor, writer, and director, but should stick to acting parts that fit his persona. The handsome, desirable leading man is not his strong suit.

Beyond that, the movie is predictable. We knew the ending right from the beginning. It is an inoffensive, puff piece of a movie, easily forgotten once it is over.

The only slightly interesting part is seeing Scarlett Johansson in one of her earliest roles. Beyond that, there's nothing original here.

I saw this movie in the theater - TWICE - when it first came out. I became smitten with Eric Schaeffer and thought If Lucy Fell was hilarious. Now that I caught it on USA (or TNT, whatever) recently, I'm able to see how flawed this romantic comedy really is and wondering why I was so taken in by it before.

First of all, I found the titular character to be pretty unlikeable. She's quick to point out everyone's shortcomings in a cold, clinical sort of way yet can't even look her father in the face when she talks about things that are important to her. She knocks her roommate for being afraid to talk to Jane when *she can't even talk to her own father*! She carries on this passion-less relationship with Dick, not even thinking that it might hurt him less to just cut it off.

I liked Joe, esp. his diatribes (still love that job in Central Park scene) but he too was hard to relate to. He hasn't had sex in five years because he's obsessed with Jane, the woman next door? OK, so I know this is Hollywood and things are exaggerated for comic effect, but what are we supposed to think of "Bwick?" The guy doesn't speak in complete sentences at first and seems near illiterate (or, I guess he's so enmeshed on the artistic plane that he can't be bothered with the concrete). I could have cried for Ben Stiller when again I saw the scene of him "painting" (i.e. yelling and hurling paint-coated body parts at canvas) - totally ridiculous. I know, that was the point... hook Lucy up with a nutter so that she'll realize what's under her nose.

When I first saw this movie, I think I was 28, and the idea of 30 still loomed ahead. Now, at 33, the idea of two single people taking their lives because they haven't found reasonable relationship material is not only beyond crazy, but it's insulting. (Well geez, maybe these guys would have found love if one hadn't wasted years obsessing over an unattainable woman and the other had extricated herself from a dead-end relationship!) It feeds into this ridiculous notion everyone under 30's got that somehow, single life goes downhill after one hits 30. (I can tell you it only gets better!) Still, "every pot finds its cover," and these two half-wits "find" each other by the end of the movie, so all's well that ends well.

Platonic best friends and roommates Sarah Jessica Parker (a New York City therapist bored with her clients) and Eric Schaeffer (a struggling artist who also teaches art to kids) are frustrated over their lackluster love lives and recall a pact they made years before: if they're both without partners at the age of 30, they will jump off the Brooklyn Bridge together. Romantic comedy alternates between being jaded and sentimental; it has flashes of satirical wit--but only flashes. Parker doesn't have much of a character here; perhaps sensing this, she compensates for the lack of substance by doing silly bits of business (stretching, giggling, making faces). The most natural performance in the film is turned in by Elle Macpherson as Schaeffer's dream girl; the role is an enigma, but Macpherson's offhand appeal and easy manner gives this fantasy figure some personality, whereas Parker is stuck in a vacuum. Ben Stiller overdoes his small part as a celebrity artist and a young Scarlett Johansson turns up as one of Schaeffer's students (looking like a pint-sized Lolita). Schaeffer, who also wrote the screenplay and directed, runs hot and cold as an actor; wearing funny hats and talking in different rhythms, he doesn't overplay or underplay--he's just a goofy mensch, but not a dynamic one like Albert Brooks or Woody Allen. He's careful to give his character some shading, yet all the little quirks--like much of the serious dialogue--are strictly superficial. *1/2 from ****