Los héroes no mueren

With No Dead Heroes you get stupid lines like that as this woefully abysmal action flick needs to be seen to be believed. William Sanders is saved by his buddy Harry Cotter during an extraction in Vietnam but gets himself captured by the enemy. Fast forward ten years and Harry is now a brainwashed Russian operative with a mind control microchip implanted in his brain. His new Russian superior is Ivan played to the obscene hilt by Nick Nicholson who might I add not only doesn't attempt once to speak with a Russian accent but resembles more a gas station attendant in Kentucky with his stained teeth. What is even more absurd is the fact that he was also the dialog coach for this film. Soon William is re-recruited by the CIA to hunt Harry down. He teams up with Barbara, a freedom fighter who has infiltrated Ivan's El Salvador camp and soon the both of them are blowing up half of South America. Some scenes are so jaw droppingly awful that it's a wonder why this film doesn't have more of a cult following. One such scene is the sudden lovemaking in the jungle by William and Barbara accompanied by the most inappropriate catterwalling background music I've ever heard. Who would strip completely nude in the middle of a South American jungle? There is a rape scene that uses the end theme from Blood on Satan's Claw as well. No Dead Heroes is the magic bullet movie champion of all time as one shot leads to multiple kills. In one scene Harry strafes his rifle from behind a rock and kills seven guys. I had to rewind it and count. Hard to find film that has recently gotten the full HD treatment by MGM. Track this movie down and watch it for the sheer silliness that ensues.

23 years ago, a younger, less-appreciative me wrote a review in which I shamefully called NDH the "worst thing ever created by mankind."

Sitting here, 23 years later and watching a beautifully restored NDH on Tubi (complete with trailer) I can tell you that NDH is one of the greatest things ever created by mankind. The 87 minute run time is perfect, the action is non-stop, and the psychotronic aspects are impeccable. I have no idea how younger me could have ever besmirched the awesomeness that is NDH.

If you don't love NDH, you're an unpatriotic commie and you need to leave the USA immediately.

I purchased a copy of this on eBay for $24 as I learned Max Thayer starred in this gem. After seeing him in No retreat No surrender 2, I knew I had to own this film.

After 3 months of waiting for my copy, it finally arrived this morning. I of course took the day off work, lit up a jay and popped it in my VCR.

From the opening credits I knew It was watching something special. Straight from 1987 and everything that came along with it. Max's acting in this doesn't rise to the sophistication and sharpness of that in NRNS2 however. You get the idea that maybe he enjoyed himself a lot more in that film than this one. Although he is still great in it and passes off some very surreal acting.

The villain Nick Nicholson has to be seen to be believed. There are no words in the English language to describe his performance. His character transfers from a sadistic general, then forward 10 years (that's right, this film has a time warp), to where he's a maniac communist trying to implement justice into the world by assassinating the pope and US president. Simply brilliant.

Kudos to J.C Miller for having the balls to write the screenplay for this and eventually direct it. I'd love to see a DVD release of this with his commentary. I imagine it would be very manic and one of the best commentaries ever. Simply because anyone who'd write a film like this, is a unique artist - worthy of cinema acclaim.

10\10 - A must see.

This movie is the worst thing ever created by humans. You think manos is the worst movie ever? It doesn't even come close to this garbage. I dont even know where to begin. The "russian" commander and the rebel chic are the worst "actors" ever to appear in a movie. They make the sister in troll 2 look like Meryl Streep. The goofy faces the chic makes while she's in kung fu training have to be seen to be believed. Then there is the oompa music during the prison break, the totally out of place love scene, the stupid song that plays during the out of place love scene, the fake castro, the fact that everybody has either a headband and/or a bandanna on some part of their body, the goofiest rape scene ever filmed, and the worst acting ever put on film. This movie deserves to be more well known among bad movie fans. Definitely the worst movie ever made.

Makes "Invasion USA" look like "Apocalypse Now". This one can only be recommended to US skinheads, John Birch supporters or militia members. The message is very simple : let's shoot them all - gooks, commies, latinos, everything that isn't American.

Besides, this is badly acted, badly scripted, badly interpreted, incredibly stupid but no fun at all. This movie could be used as a toorture device by CIA torturers. oops, sorry, there can't be any US torturers because they are the GOOD