Malibú connection

This non-fiction masterpiece retells the riveting true story of two beautiful government super-agents, their pet snake & a diabolical criminal plot, the implications of which will surely send chills down your spine.

The safety of the free world is at stake as the evil Dr. Chang and his wily henchmen plot to flood the Hawaiian economy with drugs and diamonds. Only Donna & Taryn, two of the greatest agents this government has ever known, stand in the way. Armed only with nunchuks and throwing stars and with the help of their little reptile friend and his venom, specially engineered toxins derived from the diseased blood of cancerous rats, the two foxy ladies and the two secret super studs, Rowdie and Jade, embark upon their dangerous mission.

Will our heroes be able to stop these nefarious villains and save the world? Only through hot tub strategy sessions and with the help of Rowdie & Jade's "Trunk of Toys" will our heroes prevail.

Just finished this gem. It aspired to be a Bond film and achieved everything it wanted to. Beyond the incredible T&A, murder frisbee, and lines of cunnilingus, it was just entertaining . I loved this film. 10/10 would recommend. bravo.

First there was the Bicycle Thief, then Citizen Kane, Gone With the Wind, Doctor Zhivago, Gahndi, and now Hard Ticket to Hawaii. Breathtaking cinematography and cunning script writing make this a must-see for all who aspire to create "films" rather than movies. Dona Spier (grossly ignored by the academy) spews forth her lines with an enthusiasm unseen since the great Shakespearean actresses of the 18th century. Andy Sidaris is a shrewd judge of talent and is horribly underestimated, as his films are usually ignored at the Cannes and Aspen film festivals. I rate this a 10.

One of the worst movies ever made, gets so ridiculous i didn´t stop laughing all the way through it. If you have a sense of humor, and some time to waste, check it out, it could be an experience you won´t forget.

If you liked The Remains Of The Day, Terms Of Endearment, or Steel Magnolias... avoid this movie at all costs.

How do you begin to describe a movie with gratuitous nudity, bad acting, an implausible plot, 2-dimensional characters, and bad fight scenes? How do you describe the necessity for a mutant snake, an inflatable doll, skateboarding henchmen and razor-bladed frisbees in the same movie? Ofcourse, I COULD mention some of the greatest lines of our generation like,"Life is a bitch and then you die." Or maybe,"Just when you thought it was safe to take a pee." (I can't make that up.)

Why would I bother telling you that I searched for years to find this movie on DVD to watch over and over and over again? I dare not watch another movie in this series for fear of besmearching the good name of this gem. Please, please, please, if have the opportunity, watch it at least once.

This movie is like how Richard Gere describes the opera in Pretty Woman. Those that love it, will love it forever, and those that don't will learn to appreciate it, but it will never become a part of their soul.

Enjoi filmphiles

P.S. I take no blame for mental trauma suffered from watching this film.