De profesión: duro

It was the Summer of 1989. The biggest movies in Hollywood's arsenal, all in one fiery season: "Batman", "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade", "Ghostbusters II", "Lethal Weapon 2", "Star Trek V", "License to Kill" and .... "Road House"? You read that right.

Patrick Swayze stars as Dalton, the (second) best cooler in the business, who's charged with cleaning up The Double Deuce, the seediest honky-tonk bar in Jasper, MO. But things don't go so smoothly when Dalton crosses the town's self-appointed ruler, Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara, better known as Evil Ben Gazzara). He's paid off the Sheriff, so Evil Ben Gazzara is pretty much the town's law and order. He's not pleased with the Double Deuce's burgeoning prosperity, so he makes things tricky for Dalton. But as we learned in "Dirty Dancing", nobody puts Dalton in the corner.

Fifteen minutes into the film, it becomes obvious (by just the dialogue) that this is a tongue-in-cheek enterprise. Any illusions that this will be a thought-provoking story about a philosophical bouncer in a rough town go right out the window (average viewer: "well, this oughta be a fun ride!"). Even Swayze (behind that cool stare) knows this movie is ridiculous - and that's exactly where the entertainment value kicks into high gear.

Consider what this film has going for it:

• Swayze at his sinewy, mulleted peak

• Bar fights

• Monster trucks

• A gaggle of shapely ladies

• Steamy farmhouse sex

• Sam Elliott

• Shootouts

• Sweaty martial arts

• Male bonding that borders on homoerotic

• Crackling dialogue ("Do you enjoy pain?" ... "Pain don't hurt")

• Stuffed polar bear attacks

The entertainment value of "Road House" is simply off the charts. Where else would you find a bouncer with an NYU degree (in philosophy!) and the brooding intensity to nail the town doctor (the smoldering Kelly Lynch) AND forcefully remove a man's throat from his neck? Nowhere, sir! It is escapist entertainment of the highest order, in all its gratuitous violence.

And let us not criticize the film's message. If you have feet and fists of fury, you CAN conquer a small town in Midwestern America. But simply putting a man through a table or a window is not enough. I would say maybe ten or fifteen should do it.

I do have one beef. For a movie to feature Keith David in the opening credits, and only give that man one speaking line is morally reprehensible. But there were boobies, so I think we can let this one slide.

7.5/10

Released last month as a Deluxe Edition DVD, ROAD HOUSE is a film that is almost impossible to ignore. Whether considered good or bad, it is one of the few pictures that is easy to watch all the way through by almost any one who comes across it. It is a rare gem. The phrase "it's so bad that it's good" doesn't apply to ROAD HOUSE. It isn't so bad it's good, it's so bad it's great. It is the very definition of a guy movie. It contains brutal and bloody fist fights, frequent nudity, a rock n' roll sound track, some of the best cheesy dialogue ever written, fancy cars, gun-play, knives being thrown, and explosions. As a movie for guys, it's a 10, as a movie to be taken seriously, it's a 5. Every attempt at drama flounders, though it never completely ruins what is going on.

Although considered a box office failure when released in 1989, ROAD HOUSE quickly became a cult hit once it reached video. Finally giving in to the cult mania, MGM's new DVD version of ROAD HOUSE contains two commentaries: one from director Rowdy Herrington and one by filmmakers Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier who were called in to do the track after talking ROAD HOUSE on the tenth-anniversary DVD of CLERKS. Both commentaries are fun to listen to. Herrington's commentary is for those who want to know more about the flick and the Smith/Mosier commentary is for those that want a nice laugh at the expense of this cinematic marvel. Also included on the DVD is a look-back documentary and a short featurette on the direct-to-video sequel.

As an actual film: 5/10 As a campy guy film: 10/10

Patrick Swayze kicks ass, takes names, & loves the ladies!

Great action flick for Swayze to strut his stuff.

How has it taken me this long to see this film?

Love it. No idea why but I keep coming back. Utter cheese but Swayze is awesome.

"Road House" tells the story of Dalton, a "cooler" who is hired by the owner of a small town dive bar in Jasper, MO. Dalton is hired to clean up the bar, as it has devolved into a very dangerous establishment. This place is so dangerous and rowdy that the house band plays behind a cage and the wait staff regularly engages in brawls with the patrons. This story used one of the common Western film tropes-- a new Sheriff is hired and brought in to clean up the town. That is essentially Dalton's role in this film. He's kind of the Gordon Ramsey of the bar scene. He's brought in to clean things up and kick out the riff raff. And boy is there a lot of riff raff to clean up.

The conflict in "Road House" is that there is a gang, led by Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara) whose entire MO it seems is to intimidate the local business people into giving them money and favors in exchange for not being beat up or having their businesses destroyed - an old fashioned protection racket if you follow the 1930s B films. Most of the town (including law enforcement!) is scared of Wesley and his gang and the group pretty much has full run of everything--including the bar where Dalton is hired. Wesley and his gang begin to resent Dalton's presence, because he isn't a pushover and isn't letting them have control.

Much of the action of the film involves Dalton fighting Wesley and his gang of ruffians. Wade Garrett (Sam Elliott), Dalton's friend and mentor, who also works as a cooler at another club/bar, arrives in town to help out his friend. Together, Wade and Dalton try to take on Wesley. And of course, because this is Patrick Swayze, there is a love story intertwined, when he hooks up with his ER surgeon (Kelly Lynch).

The bar scenes are crazy. A lot of nudity, fighting, violence, everything. The opening scene melee resembles the wild saloon fight in "Dodge City" or "Blazing Saddles." Jeff Healy plays the lead singer/guitarist of the house band, and they're fantastic. I especially loved their cover of The Doors' "Roadhouse Blues."

Anyway. If you're adverse to movies with violence (including a particularly spectacular Rambo-esque turn for Swayze near the end of the film), nudity, and language, then this film isn't for you. But, if you're interested in a ridiculous trashy movie, with great music, then this is worth a watch.