- Albert Einstein: Dad, I want to be a physicist.
- Mr. Einstein: What do they grow, son?
- Albert Einstein: They don't grow anything.
- Mr. Einstein: Well what's the use of them then?
- Brian Asprin: [Scientists in Australia are listening to Einstein playing Rock and Roll music on the radio] That's Albert's music.
- Lunatic Professor: Yes, crikey yes! That's 4/4 time.
- Ernest Rutherford: 4/4 time; that'll drain the power out of anything.
- Marie Curie: [Scene returns to the Academy of science in France, Einstein continues to play the electric guitar, the 'Extreme Danger' warning light on the bomb flashes then goes out, the 'Overload' warning light starts flashing showing that the bomb is been drained of its energy] It's working. Whatever you are doing keep doing it, it's working!
- Mrs. Einstein: [Alluding to intimacy] Father?
- Mr. Einstein: [Has been drinking beer all day] Not now mother I've got a headache!
- Albert Einstein: That's it! That's the theory of relativity! Light travels to us from the hands of the clock, to tell us the time. But, if we were to travel away from the clock at the speed of light...
- Marie Curie: The hands of the clock would appear to have stopped!
- Albert Einstein: Time would stand still! This moment *would* last forever.