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Smokey Bits The Dust got inflicted on the movie going public in 1981. And after two viewings of it I can't even tell you what the plot is of this mess.

Jimmy McNichol plays the local bad boy in this neck of the Ozark woods who just likes to race cars and wreck as many as he can because it's good clean fun. He's got the hots for the sheriff's daughter, Janet Julian, and on Homecoming Day he kidnaps her.

After this the whole film is one mindless 80 minute or so car chase in which law from other jurisdictions including some Arabs get involved. To be honest I actually tried figuring out what the plot was and couldn't.

Roger Corman produced this mess and shame on him.

OK, sure the movie pretty much sucks, but it's definitely worth it to see some cool car chases if you are a car chase fan. After realizing how many precious classic Dodge Chargers were destroyed during the "Dukes of Hazzard" TV run, it's also kinda sad to see a hot '57 Chevy banged up in chases (watch the disappearing dents, they used more than one of course) but the highlight definitely is that great crash by the '57 through the roof (where of course, McNichol simply keeps driving after the car lands). This chase, with the '57 Chevy, just may be one of the greatest car chases ever put on film actually, it's just too bad it's in a comedy and not a 'serious' film.

The comedy is definitely bad, with maybe the funniest scene probably being the truck driver who backs in McNichols' way in an alley, who says "nooo!" with a hilarious look on his face. So hey, pick this one up off ebay for the chases, and watch with the volume turned off when you can to avoid the painful dialogue.

Cursed be you, Burt Reynolds.

Because of "Smokey and the Bandit", the movie-going public has been forced to slog through millions of pale imitations of the same product, all to make a buck.

Which brings us to "Smokey Bites the Dust"; which, I think, DID earn at least a buck.

Meaning it broke even with its budget.

From the beginning scene where we see the Smokey of the title drinking from a baby bottle with booze in it while waiting for speeders in Backwater, USA, I knew I was in for a slow downhill ride to nowhere. I was right.

If one county, let alone backwoods town actually had this many car crashes in the course of one day, they could very well become the scrap metal center of the known world. As it turns out, this entire movie IS the scrap (minus the "s") center of the known world all by itself.

Gale Ann Hurd produced this when she was young and foolish. We all gotta start somewhere, I suppose.

One star. Plus half a star for the dumb jock football player.

No plot, no point, just a series of auto stunts and slapstick. Not sure why the Sheriff is careless with his daughter's life throughout, but At least many stunt drivers got a good paycheck.

I first saw this in '85. Instead of having Burt Reynold's in the driver's seat, we have Jimmy McNicol, driving the local town cop (Barnes) insane, giving him daily chases and taunting him on his installed c.b. This time he's gone too far, where he runs off with Daddy's (Barnes's) little girl, and he's none too happy about. And it's prom night too. All this is a car chase movie, where forget plot or logic. We even see two ten plus kids smoke, the boy looking very much like that silent chubby kid, Peter in The Cosby Show. But unlike Cosby this isn't funny, just a sheer excuse to spend 86 minutes. We have impressive pile ups, crazy chases, a snake slithering across the road, near it's start, if to maintain further interest. Some known actors star in this, an early price to pay, for future stardom. We too have an imprisoned guy making moonshine, and a younger William Forsythe, a jock, who's girl is riding with Smokey (McNichol) though of course this is not the real character's name. What left me in puzzlement was it's enigmatic R rating. May'be it was the reference to watching two kids smoke. I don't know what else it could be, as this film doesn't deserve to go beyond a PG. May'be the censors were on a mental vacation, like the makers of this movie, and when the writer's surname is named after a piece of fruit, you know you got problems.