Caligula III - La historia jamas contada

I'm probably one of the few people in the world who don't automatically categorize Joe D'Amato's film as 'worthless' or 'sleazy junk'. No, I actually support the opinion that he's a filmmaker with vision. With films like 'Buried Alive', 'Death Smiles at Murder' and 'Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals' he proved that he's capable of combining gruesome horror images and gore with a compelling script. This film, however, completely takes the edge off the above stated opinion. Caligula: The Untold Story is a very ugly and mediocre film about history's most notorious figure. Following Tinto Brass' controversial cult-epic, D'Amato focuses on the cruel and inhuman reign of the Roman emperor. This film particularly handles about a personal vendetta between a Moor-woman (whose friend got brutally killed) and the Emperor. She's torn between her personal feelings and her urge to take vengeance bla bla bla…

Caligula is a non-stop series of uninteresting sleaze, lame gore, terrible acting skills and inferior production values. The film starts out well enough, with a great cameo from Michele Soavi (later the director of masterpieces like 'Dellamorte Dellamore') trying to kill Caligula but, after this, it all goes downhill. David Cain is an incredibly bad actor and even the gorgeous Laura 'Black Emanuelle' Gemser doesn't look sensual enough to keep you watching. This film reminded me a lot about history lessons in school. The substance is fascinating enough, but it's brought in such a tedious and dull way. You're way better of watching Brass' epic staring Malcolm McDowell.

Caligula 2: The Untold Story (1982)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Another notorious film from director Joe D'Amato, this one a cheap rip off of Caligula, although this one is actually a lot better. I watched the uncut, hardcore 125-minute version and this here featured over thirty minutes worth of additional scenes that aren't in the R-rated American cut. All of these scenes are dialogue driven stuff but this here actually slows the film down a lot. There's also a 20+ minute Roman orgy, which is where this film gets its notorious label. Everything from midgets to horses is on display here but this too slows down the action. The cast, including D'Amato regular Laura Gemser, is pretty good as are the sets and costume design. I doubt I'll bother tracking down any of the alternate versions but my guess is that they'd be a bit more entertaining than this longer cut.

My review was written in October 1986 after watching the movie on Trans World Entertainment video cassette.

This exploitation film, made in 1981 in Rome for Helen Sarlui by the director of the "Ator" epics, delivers the same basic goods as the Giovanni Tinto Brass hit, but without the hardcore porn inserts Bob Cuccione added to "Caligula". Surprisingly serious in tone, pic is an adequate home video entry for strong stomachs.

David Cain Haughton has a tour de force in the title role, resembling French star Pierre Clementi, as he revels in power, decadence and general craziness until coming to his senses in an ironic finale. Much of the incidental material here is reminiscent of the Tinto Brass version, but without the lavish sets.

Main storyline has Miriam (sex superstar Laura Gemser) on a mission to kill Caligula after he rapes her girlriend, who kills herself. In dreamily romantic footage (at odds with the yucky violence of the rest of the film), Miriam gradually falls in love with the evil emperor and even gets him t o change his ways, just before he is assassinated in the final reel.

Sex is strong stuff here, but just inexplicit enough to escape the hardcore porn tag that was "Caligula"'s selling point Violence is extremely rough, especially in an impaling scene in which senator Marcellus at odds with Caligula (and played by Gemser's real-life husband as inevitable co-starf Gabriele TInti) gets caught from behind.

Haughton's acting carries the show.

A fact I would never admit to people I want to like me, I am a fan of Joe D'amato flicks. Here he is up to his old tricks; offering over the top blood shed, pointless plotting and (depending on which version you have) some X-rated sex scenes.

If you know anything about history, then there is no point in going through the plot. For those unaware, Caligula was a Ceaser and emperor of Rome. He was also generally regarded as the most brutal, demented ruler the empire ever had.

Joe D'amato strings together a lose revenge tale around his favorite leading lady, 'Black Emmanuel' Laura Gamser (funny, she's Asian). Her friend is killed by the diabolical Emperor in a botched rape attempt and she goes undercover into the place to get vengeance. Along the way we see three-ways, four-ways, prostitute training, a man impaled on a spike, the list just goes on. The coup de grace is a party scene in which we are treated to gladiators killing each other, a horse (yes, I said horse) hand job, and a long (if you have the real unedited version, which to my knowledge is out of print) orgy with all the X-rated trimmings.

D'amato flicks are most certainly an acquired taste. Most will find this to be filth, but if you have the mind for it, then this is one of the sleaze master's best.

6/10

I am a history buff, and have done quite a bit of research on late republic--early empire Rome. The funny thing about the film is that the only part that is really historically accurate (aside from Caligula being emperor) is the starting Narration, when an unseen narrator describes Caligula as a "Pervert, glutton, Paranoid, insomniac--this is his story!" After that, fiction takes over, making the movie (and the music) very third rate. Some parts are very disturbing, but gives you a view of the mental capacity of Romans before Christianity took hold of Italy. The acting was second rate. Most of the main players couldn't even speak English, and the 'voice in's' were horribly sequenced. But I must give two thumbs up for David Brandon (Caligula). He played the part so convincingly, with his arrogant, cruel, sadistic actions, that in my opinion, made the movie. <<by the way, does anyone know what David Brandon is up too these days?>> Since it's obvious that the film contains nudity, and many violent scenes, I thought I would focus on the merits (though few and far between). And I must say that the intimate scenes between Laura Gemser (Mariam) and DB are very enticing.