Certainly not the worst TV movie ever made, but it's not great either
This made-for-TV movie starts out like a sexier version of "Gilligan's Island". Five people leave a swinging 70's type island resort in an undisclosed country (where the women of all ages are unbelievably gorgeous). There is only one guy and four woman--Priscilla Barnes (who was later on "Three's Company") is the blonde ditz, Andrea Marcovvi is her brunette roommate with "man issues", Barbara "Agent 99" Feldman is a middle-aged mother, and Maureen "Marcia Brady" McCormack (still stuck playing a teenager five years after "The Brady Bunch" was cancelled) is her daughter. The women (except for Feldon) are all unaccountably attracted to the douchebag guy, and at times you could cut the sexual tension with a knife (and you'd have to, since none of it is obviously ever going to get released in a tame TV movie like this).
The plot starts when their boat wrecks on a remote part of the island and they unwisely to decide to walk back to the resort through the jungle. There are a couple of dark-skinned natives lurking about, and for awhile the movie turns into a cross between "Deliverance" and "Walkabout" without being a fraction as good as either. The most annoying characters do die fairly horribly, however, so it's not a total loss.
The British director David Greene did two very good theatrical movies in Britain, "I Start Counting" and "The Strange Affair", and the very decent Anglo-American horror film "The Shuttered Room". He definitely knew his away around attractive actresses (Jenny Agutter, Susan George, Carol Lynley, etc.), but story-wise he has little or nothing to work with here. He does seem to have filmed this with three cameras--one focused on Barnes' cleavage, one on her (and sometimes McCormick's) hot-pants clad ass, and one filming everything else. Barnes is very sexy (although she was better in the similar theatrical film "Tintorera" where she gets her kit off and almost gets eaten by a giant shark). Marccovi and McCormick are similarly easy on the eyes, but the former is saddled with an irritating character and the latter is miscast and turns in a truly wretched performance. Feldon still looks good, but she stays more conservatively dressed than the other women and is really give no opportunity to act (which, if you've seen her in "Smile" you know she can do far better than any of her co-stars here).
This is far from the worst TV movie made (it doesn't even have Jane Seymour or Delta Burke in it, for christsakes!), but it's not great either.
The plot starts when their boat wrecks on a remote part of the island and they unwisely to decide to walk back to the resort through the jungle. There are a couple of dark-skinned natives lurking about, and for awhile the movie turns into a cross between "Deliverance" and "Walkabout" without being a fraction as good as either. The most annoying characters do die fairly horribly, however, so it's not a total loss.
The British director David Greene did two very good theatrical movies in Britain, "I Start Counting" and "The Strange Affair", and the very decent Anglo-American horror film "The Shuttered Room". He definitely knew his away around attractive actresses (Jenny Agutter, Susan George, Carol Lynley, etc.), but story-wise he has little or nothing to work with here. He does seem to have filmed this with three cameras--one focused on Barnes' cleavage, one on her (and sometimes McCormick's) hot-pants clad ass, and one filming everything else. Barnes is very sexy (although she was better in the similar theatrical film "Tintorera" where she gets her kit off and almost gets eaten by a giant shark). Marccovi and McCormick are similarly easy on the eyes, but the former is saddled with an irritating character and the latter is miscast and turns in a truly wretched performance. Feldon still looks good, but she stays more conservatively dressed than the other women and is really give no opportunity to act (which, if you've seen her in "Smile" you know she can do far better than any of her co-stars here).
This is far from the worst TV movie made (it doesn't even have Jane Seymour or Delta Burke in it, for christsakes!), but it's not great either.
- lazarillo
- 21 ago 2009