Geek Maggot Bingo or The Freak from Suckweasel Mountain

I've seen many many movies that some would call BAD. I've seen many others that I myself would call BAD. But this video goes way beyond being just mere BAD. This video is ... well it's hard to find a word for it...awful...horrible...dreadful...they all come close, but just don't quite fit the mark. But maybe, just maybe, the title says it all. GEEK MAGGOT BINGO!!! So I slide this sucker into my VCR and begin to watch. I see the one and only Zacherley hosting this. Now old Zach might be the Cool Ghoul and all, but this was definitely not his finest hour. Then the story begins. Don't ask me to explain it to you but there is a Cowboy and a mad scientist, his daughter and his humpback assistant and a two-headed monster and a hottie vampire and her vampire followers. They they wander around and say a bunch of stuff in some of the most amateurish sets imaginable. The sets make Ed Wood's look like big-budget Hollywood. It looks like it was made in someones basement or garage, like a home movie. Like some guy got a camera and all his friends (or anyone else who was willing to dress up, or get undressed, and act like a retard) and made something up over the weekend and edited it himself (I don't think I've ever seen worse editing). And who was that guy? Why it was Nick Zedd, God bless 'em.

Of note, however, is the fact that, then up and coming, Ed French, did the special effects on this. And, almost in contrast to the terrible sets, he does a couple very cool make-ups including the two headed monster.

Also of note was a certain Bob Martin in the credits. Could this be the same Uncle Bob Martin I remember from the early days of Fangoria magazine. I'll have to dig out my back issues and find out. (*and sure enough it was, thanks for the email Uncle BoB*)

And speaking of Bobs, I saw a few Church of the Subgenius references which could go to explain a lot.

So what's with the title? Is there geeks and do they play Bingo with maggots? I think my girlfriend solved that one for me I think, suggesting it was a take-off of 'Beach Blanket Bingo'. But who knows what goes on in the minds of people who make movies like this. It could be or mean anything. Sort of reminiscent of pre- Pink Flamingoes John Waters, this movie is definitely an endurance challenge to even the most die-hard fan of shlock-camp-B movie videos. A must see!!!

I like "bad" movies. I get a kick out of movies like The Toxic Avenger or Sorority House massacre with terrible acting and minimal plot. I like low budget movies, Evil Dead and PI are great movies IMO.

However, this movie combines, no plot, no budget, bad acting, with just generally being annoying and cardboard and paper props.

I did not watch the whole movie because it was so horribly bad. This is so bad it probably isn't even MST3K material.

I give this a 1 out of 10 because negative infinity is not an option.

Worst movie I've ever tried to watch.

If you like "good" movies, stay clear of this one. If you like "bad" movies, stay clear of this one.

Nick Zedd is the 80's Ed Wood if you don't think so watch this or they eat scum. Geek maggot bingo is on par with Plan 9 from outer space as being one of the best bad movies. The set is beyond cheap all the phones are made of paper even a wall phone is a paper cut-out desk phone windows are badly drawn or painted picture that look like they were done with crayon. But the movie is not boring it so bad it's funny Ed Wood would be proud I have seen worse movies that were professionally made. This is a must see for all bad movie buffs if you like this check out they eat scum another Nick Zedd z-grade movie or anything from Nathan Schiff. Ps watch for a Mars attack Alien prop used to make a two headed monster.

This film is unique in its own strange way, but to be totally honest I found it really dull. I'm a fan of director Nick Zedd's other films such as They Eat Scum and War is Menstrual Envy. They're mostly fascinating and one-of-a-kind curiousities. This one is reminiscent of a home movie that is way overacted and lacking in any sort of shocking or original material. The vague plot concerns a mad scientist bringing back the dead, and lots of bad jokes and crude, but amusing gore FX follow. It's all very pointless, although it features Richard Hell (of the Voidoids) as a cowboy and Zacherle as a funny narrator. All in all, it's one of Zedd's worst films.

Zedd's take on Dracula, Frankenstein, etc... all filmed using painted sets, bad acting and tiresome dialog. Some of the makeup effects are kinda cool like the melting face with the eyeball falling out of it's socket. Um, ok...

We also get Richard Hell as the cowboy. Jeez, he CAN'T act !

I'm glad he didn't make acting a career.

There's the added bonus of a 1983 interview with the cast and crew, videotaped while they're all sitting around drunk, rambling incoherently. And the NY Times calls this sh#t, art ?

Other Zedd shorts included on this travesty of a DVD include:

ELF PANTIES - Jen with fake Elf ears, wets her panties. We also get to see her crappy apartment as well as Jen's ugly body while she eats a popsicle.

Wow...big deal...

LORD OF THE COCK RINGS - Magical cock ring that some idiot can't get off ? We wind up seeing him and Jen's ugly, skanky friends all piled up in someone's apartment. Some of them topless, some of them not and they're all wearing fake Elf's ears, again.

Jesus, what's with the elf ears?

THUS SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA - Zedd wanders aimlessly around in Manhattan in the snow, looking like some kind of junkie loser, finally touching base with some of his fellow junkie losers on some snow covered corner at night.

More big deal...

1 out of 10 for being a waste of time...