I Sailed to Tahiti with an All Girl Crew

Incredibly bad by most standards, I Sailed to Tahiti With An All-Girl Crew is enormously enjoyable if you're in the right retro mood. The film was probably the main factor in Gardner McKay abandoning his acting career and turning to writing. He certainly lets his hair down in this one - especially when he fantasizes about being a pirate a la Captain Blood. I also like when McKay corrects one of his crew members who calls him "skippy" by insisting "It's skipper - SKIPPER!" Apart from a bevy of gorgeous women playing the All-Girl Crew, McKay looks terrific in his mid-thirties, which for many viewers is reason enough for seeing this film.

Though a bit flimsy on plot the sailing sequences were quite good. I personally feel that Gardner McKay's dialogue seemed kind of stilted and more forced than it should have been. His comment of "All hands on deck, all hands on deck" didn't seem natural for a boat captain.

Incidentally some of the dialogue was redone in the studio because of the poor quality of it onboard the sailboats. Though not mentioned in the credits it may have been based on actual incidents though not as flamboyant and not a race. Ron

Two rivals competing in a marathon contest, with the usual comic thrills and spills, only this time it's a yacht-race across the South Pacific.

A slightly inebriated Terry (Gardner McKay) bets his old mate Josh (Fred Clark) that he can beat him from California to Tahiti with an all-girl crew. Josh's roar of derision - a truly horrible sound, repeated throughout - signals that the bet is on, and next morning Terry realises you shouldn't make plans over drinks. But he's an honourable man (as his rival turns out not to be) and he sets about advertising for female shipmates in the paper. The headline 'Wanted 5 girls' would not normally have attracted the bevy of beauties who turn up for selection, clearly based on glamour rather than seamanship, but one can't have everything.

Under the test, the girls actually turn out much more useful on-board than we expect, but with their attention centred on one notably handsome young ship's captain, there's going to be trouble in paradise - especially when he discovers that a sixth one has managed to stow away too. The hectic action does not allow us to get to know any of the girls in depth, but a convenient stopover in Honolulu manages to drive the plot in a satisfying way. And a clownish character from the boondocks, who keeps popping-up and boring everyone with his endless conversation, turns out to have more significance than we thought.

Although the production values are not great (the music sounds like an ice-cream commercial), there's enough to keep us amused and occasionally intrigued, until the surprise ending which cannot be revealed here. There's another ending too, though, as this turns out to be the last film for both McKay, who quits acting in favour of the writing life, and Clark who dies all too soon after the wrap.

This movie is so bad that it's enormous fun to watch. Who can forget the line:"She may not be an old salt but she sure does have a fancy shaker". I remember the first time my friend, Jay, and I watched it, we could not believe how low the movie industry could go.

While in an extremely intoxicated state, a man by the name of "Terry O'Brien" (Gardner McKay) makes a wager with an unscrupulous businessman named "Josh" (Fred Clark) that he can sail his boat to Tahiti with an all-girl crew in less time than Josh with whatever crew he can acquire. Needless to say, 'Generous' Josh accepts the bet which consists of Terry offering his sailboat against $30,000 in return. Unfortunately, since Josh is quite wealthy he can afford to lose while Terry depends on his sailboat for his very livelihood. In any case, the next morning Terry realizes his mistake but since he cannot renege on his bet he suddenly has to find five women who will volunteer to sail with him on short notice from California to Tahiti. To remedy this he places an ad in the local newspaper which generates a hearty response. Naturally, being a young, red-blooded male he selects the most attractive ones rather than those with any actual experience. To make matters even worse, one of the females he hires is a saboteur who has instructions to cause as many problems as she can so that Josh can win the race and subsequently take possession of Terry's sailboat. Now rather than reveal any more of this movie and risk spoiling it for those who haven't seen it I will just say this film was essentially a product of its time. It doesn't have any risqué scenes to speak of and pretty much runs its course as one might expect with few surprises thrown in. In short, the movie was okay with the young ladies being perhaps the best feature presented. Average.