Texas

You need to park your brains at the door, put your tongue in your cheek and fully engage your funny bone for this film. This spoof is just that a spoof on everything that you find in a typical western and Texan. There is cows, oil, calvary, natives (I seriously doubt if there is a genuine North American native in the cast), good and bad guys and girls (mostly erring toward the good side). Nobody and nothing is spared from the writers' wit. This film is just good fun and a good laugh. I seriously doubt if it would meet any of the more modern standards for tolerance to racial groups and consideration for their feelings but this was the 60's and things were just beginning to change. Watch and enjoy whenever you see it coming. Do expect too much and you'll enjoy it more.

Don Andre de Baldasare was set to marry Pheobe Ann Naylor of Louisiana; after an affair of honor goes wrong, he has to flee across the river, into the wilds of Texas. Once arrived, he meets encounters Sam Hollis and his Indian sidekick, the Karonkawa Indian, Kronk, who are transporting rifles to the town of Moccasin Flats. Don Andrea rescues an Indian maiden, Lonetta, uses Spanish skills to tame longhorns, becomes Sam's rival for Phoebe's affections, heads off a band of angry Comahces and runs continually from the cavalry (who have come to Moccasin Flats to celebrate Texas' statehood but mostly charge after him in gallant groups). At the end of the film, the man Sam calls "Baldy" saves the town and also gets his girl--but which one wins him? In this cheerful and frequently hilarious screenplay, Alain Delon is very funny and understated as Don Baldasare, Dean Martin is a bit too-old as Sam Hollis perhaps but shows his excellent comedic timing in the likable role. Rosemary Forsyth is vivacious and very pretty as Phoebe Ann, Southern accent and all; Peter Graves and Andrew Prince lead the cavalry, to whom Graves continually issues orders such as "To the rur, har!" which no one understands any more than they can penetrate Kronk's Indian sayings, delivered deadpan and rather beautifully by Joey Bishop. Others in the large cast include Tina Aumont as the Indian girl, Michael Ansara as the Indian chief pursuing them, and Linden Chiles as his physically- inept son, Stuart Anderson, Roy Barcroft, George Wallace, Don Beddoe,.Kelly Thordsen, Nora Marlowe, and John Harmon. Director Michael Gordon kept the action and the laughs coming despite much of the film being filmed out-of-doors. the bright cinematography was supplied by veteran Russell Metty, the script by "Maverick" TV series alumnus Wells Root and Harold Greene, and the art direction was done by William D. DeCinces and Alexander Golitzen. Set decorations were supplied by John McCarthy Jr. and  James Redd; the vivid costume designs were created by Helen Colvig and Rosemary Odell. This is a personal favorite of mine as a writer, breezy in dialogue and attractively colorful and often amusing. I recommend it for repeated viewing, for its spaciousness and its intelligent comedy, its style and its infectious and fantasy-free good humor.

the mid sixties...back before we were so culturally/politically correct...this movie wasn't ever meant to be correct anyway...it was a spoof of course and anyone who comments on it negatively without considering that needs some help.....Texas across the river is a signature film for dean....westerns that he loved so much...also a comedy which he was famous for...(many confirm that off camera he was far funnier than jerry lewis back in his earlier days)

Texas across the river is a perfect example of a spoof done in the sixties...and if you consider it as such you will find it to be excellent!....some have commented about joey bishop (jew) playing an Indian...well (hello) that is exactly why it works...it was meant to be tongue in cheek!...one should have little wonder as soon as the organ spits out a 60's rhythm and melody every time the indians are seen...or the surf sounding guitar also used in the soundtrack....I love this movie for what its worth....escapism....during a time (1966) of tragedy....the Vietnam war.

Released in 1966, "Texas Across the River" is a Western parody that takes place in 1845, starting at the Louisiana wedding of debutante Phoebe Ann Naylor (Rosemary Forsyth) to Don Andrea (Alain Delon), a Spanish nobleman. When the wedding is interrupted by Cavalry men (e.g. Stuart Anderson & Peter Graves), Don Andrea flees across the river to Texas, where he hooks up with Sam Hollis (Dean Martin) and his Native pal, Kronk (Joey Bishop), who are delivering weapons to Moccasin Flats. Don Andrea soon saves a Native lass, Lonetta (Tina Aumont), which attracts the attentions of a Comanche war party (Michael Ansara, Linden Chiles, etc.). Meanwhile the cavalry are hot on their trail.

You have to be in the right mode to enjoy "Texas Across the River," as it's full of mid-60's goofy humor (think Gilligan's Island or I Dream of Jeanie in the Old West). I personally chuckled from beginning to end and enjoyed it more than "Support Your Local Sheriff" (1969). It's just a fun movie with a great cast and locations, not to be taken seriously.

Speaking of which, one notable critic lambasted the movie for having Bishop play Hollis' Indian sidekick. I guess he didn't get the joke: The movie's poking fun at all the Westerns that used obvious white folk to play Natives; it's the same thing with Aumont playing the Indian cutie, who looks anything but Native American.

Directed by Michael Gordon, the movie was a fair hit at the box office. It runs 101 minutes and was shot in Alabama Hills, Lone Pine, Universal City & San Diego, California.

GRADE: B

I saw this movie at the theatre as a kid and, thanks to regular television airings, multiple times through the years. I practically have the film memorized. And yet, I bust a gut laughing every time I see it to this day. There are so many memorable scenes and lines that will immediately bring a smile to anyone's face who has seen it; "Texas isn't even a state, how big can it be?", "The coward attacked him from the rear", the slapping scenes, the arrow in the rear, Joey Bishop as an Indian, Rosemary Forsyth in a wet blanket, "No Comanche is a friend of mine", that '60s guitar music whenever the Comanches are around, "Only read Kronk", and the oft quoted "ARUHROAR HAR!". Simply put, this film is funny. It's a horrible injustice that this film has not yet received a studio DVD release. I long to see this film again in a wide screen presentation without the awful pan and scan.