Fireball Quinientos

This is a fairly innocuous little movie. No one rented tuxes for the 1967 Oscars for this one, but then no one is paying large sums of money to suppress it, either. It feels like a "Perry Mason" or "Route 66" TV episode.

For vintage erotica fans, there is a (mostly) accurate portrayal of the "Girlie Shows" that were once carnival staples. Fabian's character, Leander, has a group of young women following him around (Four of them period Playboy Playmates) and there is a seductive (slightly) older widow. The sex and romance is far from explicit (welcome in a movie with Chill Wills in it!) and is generally hinted at with meaningful glances.

For NASCAR fans there are some pretty good scenes of stock car racing 40 years ago, including some of the Daytona 500. Drivers that year apparently were racing for a $85,000 purse. (2006: $18 million).

It's well worth a rental. I bought mine as a two-sided DVD with "Thunder Alley" for under $15, and I feel the money was well-spent.

Nice racing sequences and to my knowledge the only feature film to have both those kids from Philadelphia Frankie Avalon and Fabian in the cast are the attractions that Fireball 500 has. The title comes from the logo that Avalon has on his car.

Avalon is a professional racing driver and has arrived in North Carolina to try his hand at the stock car circuit where local boy Fabian rules. Fabian also runs a little moonshine on the side and of course is wary of the revenuers. These two as in the teen idol business were rivals in those late Eisenhower/ Kennedy years.

The women they are rivals over are Annette Funicello and Julie Parrish, you watch the film to see who gets who. There's someone else in the picture who would like to eliminate both these guys. I won't reveal but it won't be hard to figure it out.

Avalon is slightly miscast in a film that I think Elvis Presley might have had first dibs on and rejected. Or Colonel Parker probably rejected for him.

Two very colorful character players Chill Wills and Harvey Lembeck are in the cast. Wills is Annette's uncle and Lembeck is most definitely not doing Erich Von Zipper.

For aging fans of the leads like myself.

Bill Asher and Samuel Z. Arkoff & James Nicholson at American International give "Fireball 500" the old college try. They gave their stock beach party ensemble (minus a few of the usual screw crew such as John Ashley, Donna Loren and Jody McCrea) something heavier and darker to try.

This is more like an early '60s Elvis film than one of the zany Beach flicks. It's a serious film. There's no comic relief to be found anywhere. Only a couple songs sung on stage instead of on the sand and in the surf or dorm.

Also, guys like Harvey Lembeck get the opportunity to stretch and play a something far different from his legendary Rats motorcycle gang leader, Erich Von Zipper. In this one, he is not his ideal - ha-ha!

Frankie Avalon is a stock car driver with a past coerced into going undercover and runnig moonshine for Harvey Lembeck. Annette Funicello is to be fought over, but Frankie doesn't get her as usual! How about that! In fact, they don't even really like each other in this one.

If you see it, don't expect a sequel to "Beach Blanket Bingo" because it's not. Take it on its own terms.

So much about this very quickly drives home the point that 'Fireball 500' and its ilk are borne from the same spirit that gave us beach party movies earlier in the 1960s. As if the fact that this was an AIP film weren't evidence enough, consider the production values, the stop-motion animation and narration that greets us in the earliest minutes, and Les Baxter's original music score - and pop songs that are frequently incorporated (or outright shoe-horned in) just because. The characters, scene writing, dialogue, and even the plot itself are all rather loose, designed for kitschy, lighthearted fun that's distinctly indifferent to any notion of sincerity (and more than a little sexist at times). As great as the appearance is of the costume design, hair and makeup, set design, and vehicles, the visuals all impart the same flavors of cheesy fluff. This goes for the acting, too, and even Floyd Crosby's cinematography (note the regular emphasis of female posteriors). Make no mistake, this is a feature that is easily dated, and to whatever extent it has "held up" since the 60s owes much to open-minded nostalgia and generosity. 'Fireball 500' is marginally more entertaining than its brethren or predecessors, mostly on account of boasting more of a concrete narrative, but to be sure, in 2022 it's quite the acquired taste.

In all fairness, this is a picture that only wants its audience to have a good time. How much mileage one may get out of it will vary wildly from one viewer to the next, but yet it's not half bad. The story is light, but sufficient for building the picture and keeping our attention. The race sequences are well done, including excellent stunt driving - why, I don't even like automotive racing in real life, but the inclusion here is pretty well engaging. Stunts generally are executed very well, not least at the climax. Though the cast is often guided into portrayals that are as ham-handed as the picture at large, when given an opportunity to earnestly demonstrate their capabilities, they surely do. At their best the performances are characterized with fine nuance; Douglas Henderson and Baynes Barron, for example, very convincingly depict G-men Hastings and Bronson as slimy toads, and the more prominent stars like Frankie Avalon, Fabian, and Julie Parrish all embody their parts with suitable enticing personality as scenes demand.

Even recognizing the somewhat hokey construction and likely limited appeal of the feature, this suffers from other flaws. One definite consequence of the overall fun-loving tone is that any story beat that should be decidedly impactful is robbed of its weight. Frankly, where scenes aren't built strictly with the zest of "Hey, let's party!" - well, it's at best a 50-50 guess whether 'Fireball 500' will successfully convey any other feeling. This unfortunately strips the film of no small amount of value; if AIP were trying to be genuine and move beyond the happy-go-lucky nonchalance of its beach party flicks, then the failure by any degree to meaningfully give form to dramatic moments means a failure of that intent. As if cementing the difficulty: while there's real, tangible plot in this, it doesn't come across as entirely convincing, as though director William Asher and co-writer Leo Townsend struggled themselves to be whip up material that bears a more substantial scrap of seriousness. The last third of the movie altogether drags soporifically, more than not.

Warts and all, this is reasonably enjoyable, and I'd go so far as to say that I wish I could like it more than I do. There are many solid ideas in the screenplay, and the cast and crew both put in hard work that pays off in its own right. However, wherever one wishes to place responsibility, there seems to be a lack of comportment between purpose and capability; 'Fireball 500' aimed to be something more and better than those titles AIP made before, yet the end result just doesn't completely hit the mark. Still, there are a lot worse movies you could watch, and if you're open to the more gauche side of cinema, then this might well be right up your alley. It's no essential classic, but if you happen across 'Fireball 500,' it's a modestly entertaining viewing experience.

"Fireball 500" (1966) is technically the best production to ever come out of "American International". The cinematography looks as good as the best Hollywood productions from that period; with unexpectedly good shot selection and nice close-ups that you would expect to see now but were highly original back in 1966.

This is a film that should be shown to would-be film and video editors, as there are few finer examples of matching stock footage with first and second unit output; all done by linear editing (try it some time if you want a real challenge). When a low budget film tries to be high budget by inserting stock footage it is usually a disaster, but here there is a pretty good match of film stock and the track announcer's audio makes the action sequences easy to follow. You might recognize Fred R. Feitshans Jr's editing style from the old "Adventures in Paradise" television show.

The story is ordinary-straight action adventure and romance, no comedy like AIP's beach movies even though it does feature alumni Frankie, Annette, and Harvey Lembeck. There are three good Hernrig and Styner songs: "Fireball 500", "My Way", and "Turn Around"; sung by Frankie with help on the last one from Julie Parrish. Annette sings "Step Right Up" which mostly leaves you amazed that anyone ever bought her records.

As usual Annette is very buttoned-up and chaste but Parrish is hot enough to carry the whole film. Interestingly Annette pairs up with Fabian and Frankie gets Julie. Fabian also has a group of racetrack groupies who follow him around, four of the them are mid-60's Playboy centerfolds with one of those the Playmate of the year.

Frankie gets into a serious fight with both Fabian and Lembeck. These are decently staged and cut but unnecessary to the story and rather comical when you consider the participants. Casting these two singers was apparently an attempt to expand the target audience from teenage boys and stock car fans by including something for teenage girls. This was at best a lame idea since by 1966 those two were considered wimpy has-beens compared to "Herman's Hermits", let alone the "Beatles" and the "Stones".

There is tons of interesting stock car footage, making "Fireball 500" a nice historical archive. Overall it was a fun film to watch but nothing you would take very seriously.

Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.