La mansión de los siete placeres

Dino was 51 and smooching ridiculously hot actresses half his age when he did The Wrecking Crew, one of the all-time cringeworthy films but still fun. A fifth Helm was planned but Martin bowed out. The entire total-escapist series was written, produced and directed by a team that owed its sensibilities and point of view to the men's magazines of the late 50s and 60s and took very little from Hamilton's novels. It made fantasy logic that his cover was a glamour magazine photographer pursued at first sight by gorgeous models. I saw them all at the movies and dreaded the moments when Dean would croon a tune. The supporting players were always great pros and the actresses were all fantasy women. In this final entry, James Gregory (Matt's boss McDonald) is replaced by John Larch and while Larch was a fine actor, Gregory's rich baritone is missed. Someone must have watched Deadlier Than The Male, a much better film than any of the Helm movies, because Elke Sommer and Nigel Green, the lethal duo from Deadlier, essentially reprise their roles. The opening theme song ("Ah So, Ah So") was embarrassing 50 years ago. Otherwise, Montenegro's music was memorable at times. The production values are top-notch, for the most part. The hand-to-hand fight scenes were poorly choreographed, performed, shot and edited even though the great Bruce Lee was involved. The only sad note about this film is the fate of lovely Sharon Tate who has a substantial role, exploited this year by Tarantino in his uber-fantasy Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.

Count Massimo Contini (Nigel Green) is the mastermind behind a billion dollar gold robbery. His plan is to send the world markets into chaos. He may get away with it unless Matt Helm (Dean Martin) can track down the missing gold. But along the way, Helm will meet up the Count's hired muscle, a gorgeous female killer, and a ditsy woman who insists on helping him.

I suppose the best way to describe a Matt Helm film would be a light and breezy spoof of the James Bond movies. Nothing is very serious and you're sure that everything will work out in the end. Dean Martin plays Matt Helm about as laid back as could be imagined. Instead of a gun, you're more likely to see him with a drink in one hand, a cigarette in the other, a beautiful woman to ogle, and a quick quip. His fights scenes may leave a lot to be desired, but there's no denying his "cool".

The Wrecking Crew is actually one of the better Matt Helm films. The hiding place of the gold is ingenious, the spy gadgets are plentiful, and the women are everywhere. The cast is one of the better assembled for any of these films. Nigel Green and Elke Sommer make a wonderful pair as the distinguished master criminal and the sexy killer (roles very similar to the ones they played in 1966's Deadlier Than the Male). But Sharon Tate really shines as the ditsy Freya Carlson. It's incredibly sad to think that this would be Tate's last role before her brutal murder. She's a joy and a real pleasure to watch.

In this one, Matt Helm's antagonist is Count Contini, a gold smuggler, played by Nigel Green. He is aided by his gang of thugs and two female sidekicks, Linka (Elke Sommer) and Gwen Ya-Rang (Nancy Kwan). As might be expected, both try to seduce Matt, offering fake carrots. Interestingly for a Matt Helm movie, however, Linka is a rare woman in Matt's orbit who is the recipient, rather than initiator, of the first display of interest. Earlier, there is a nice scene in which Lola Medini (Tina Louise), a former associate of Contina, seduces Matt in connection with the intrigue.

Ultimately, it is Freya Carlson (Sharon Tate) who gets her man. She is a Danish tourist agent who leads Matt around in fulfilling his duties. Like Stella Stevens in "The Silencers," she is initially quite clumsy, and is involved in a nice wetlook scene (actually, so is Linka). Freya helps Matt foil the villains.

I'm focusing mostly on the women here, but hey, you can hardly beat this bunch in this male fantasy series. The only Bond movie that can rival this group is "Thunderball."

I have not seen any of the other Matt Helm films, first off. My main reason for getting this film was that Sharon Tate was in it. I think it's safe to say that, out of her very brief acting career, her role in "The Wrecking Crew" is her best out of all her films. In all her other roles she played the blonde sex kitten with little to do but smile pretty for the camera. In this film, however, she gets the chance to shine as a tough yet sexy, red-haired secret agent who assists Dean Martin's Matt Helm in apprehending a group of gold thieves. The plot is ridiculous, Dean Martin looks more than a little out of it, and the sets and music are bursting with such an infectious '60s vibe that you just have to love it in all of its corniness. That title song is stuck in my head for weeks after I watch the movie - and I love it! Don't miss the catfight between Sharon and Nancy Kwan, as well as Sharon's jaw-dropping booty-shake dance sequence. Oh man, what a babe.

Much better than the previous 2 Matt Helm films, but not as good as the first, THE SILENCERS. THE WRECKING CREW was directed by PHIL KARLSON as was the first Matt Helm movie 3 years earlier. This time around, Matt Helm (DEAN MARTIN) is sent to Denmark to immobilize Count Contini (NIGEL GREEN) who has hijacked a fortune in gold bullion. Assisting Helm is eager, but bumbling Freya Carlson (SHARON TATE). Freya is more of a hindrance than a help however. Contini's former flame Lola Medina (TINA LOUISE)is willing to provide pertinent information to Helm, for a cut of the action. She is killed though before she can tell him anything by a bomb laden bottle of scotch placed in her bar by Contini's current paramour Linka (ELKE SOMMER). Another beauty in the Count's arsenal is Yu Rang (NANCY KWAN). Contini tries to buy Helm off, but when that is unsuccessful, resorts to a dozen lame brained attempts to murder him. Will Helm triumph over the evil Count Contini ? What do you think ? One of the reasons that this movie is better than the previous 2 is that Helm is giving a female sidekick that is funny. As in THE SILENCERS where you had klutzy Gale Hendricks (STELLA STEVENS), here you have Freya (SHARON TATE) in a similar role. Neither MURDERERS ROW, nor THE AMBUSHERS had that. And TATE, although only 25 when this was made, showed very funny comedic ability. The production dollars spent appear less than in all 3 prior Helm flicks. In a scene where Helm is sparring with one of Contini's men outside of the Count's chateau, the artificial grass fold up like a rug. The interior sets look like something from a porno movie. The fight scenes are slow, and obvious. At 51, MARTIN was getting a little old for this kind of thing. Plus, JAMES BOND aside, ersatz "Spy Films" were on their way out. If you watch the credits at the end, you'll see a notice that states : Matt Helm will be back in THE RAVAGERS. Alas, it was not to be. This genre had run its gamut and what a schmaltzy time it was !!!