Robot Monster

It's an old theme, and one particularly pertinent to the cold war. Aliens conquer the earth, and earthlings are too small minded to put aside their grievances, so all is lost. However, in the case of Robot Monster, the aliens are big guys in ape suits and old-school scuba gear (odd concept of a robot, IMO), and all the action in the film appears to be either stock warfare footage or scraps of bad sci-fi films found on the cutting room floor, spliced in with some pathetic burning miniature rocket ships, and all not even loosely tied into the "plot".

George Nader, who helped Frankie Avalon ruin the masterpiece of garbage cinema "Million Eyes of Sumuru", is the star, but the only people who act in this film are Claudia Barrett and John Brown (the Ro-Man), and even so, they're not very good at it. As a man well aware of his limits, Nader doesn't usually bother with acting. Like most of the cast members of Robot Monster, he simply recites his lines and adds a smile, a chuckle, or a gesture here and there.

It gets worse. I am a professional archaeologist, and though I appreciate the credit this film gives my profession, I sincerely doubt that any archaeologist will ever develop a serum that makes humans immune to every possible form of disease. Furthermore, I have ethical concerns about the fact that he tests it on HIS ENTIRE FAMILY, even if doing so allowed them to be the only survivors of the alien holocaust brought about by Ro-man! I guess this makes Robot Monster a pioneering cyberpunk film since the entire plot takes place after the destruction of most of earth's life. Most of the plot is incoherent, utterly ridiculous and unexplained.

You continue to watch because, despite the mediocre cinematography, worse than mediocre directing and script, you want to see just how much worse it can get. In that sense, this film is no disappointment. It gives Manos a run for its money, but in the end does no harm, and its a lot more fun, so I gave it a two (the extra star is for being harmless). This is an amazingly goofy and silly film, comparable in its absurdity to Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Go for it if you're into that kind of thing, or if you harbor a secret desire to see George Nader get married without a shirt in a ceremony performed by a German archaeologist.

ROBOT MONSTER is often heralded as the worst movie ever made, although I've seen plenty that are more boring than this zero-budget effort, which is enthusiastic if nothing else. The nutshell plot of the film sees a family struggling to survive in the aftermath of an apocalypse, where they're menaced by the titular alien.

The film features an anything-goes, shot-in-your-own-backyard feel which makes it hard to take seriously. I'm a huge fan of '50s sci-fi, but this has more in common with the dodgy offerings of Ed Wood than a real film. The acting is sub-par, the script even worse, and the attempts to enliven things by shoving in stock footage are simply helpless.

Things aren't quite so bad as all that, though. ROBOT MONSTER is a film that it's easy to laugh at, which counts for a lot, and Ro-Man is quite an entertaining menace...at least, he's highly amusing, whether it be his bizarre look or the way he talks in that portentous voice. As a movie, it's also very short, which makes things easier to take. Watch it as an unintentional comedy and you might even find yourself enjoying it.

How can you approach a recent repeat viewing of a movie you first saw 20 years ago in a double feature with 'Plan 9 from Outer Space', which to this day is still the most joyous, funniest cinema experience you have ever had. Without these two films, I would never have been seduced by the wonderful Golden Turkey Awards books, nor started my secret, indulgent near obsession with enjoying bad movies.

And as bad movies go, Robot Monster is simply wonderful.

Its almost pointless to go about what is in store for the unwary viewer, except that they will encountering a cinematic experience they will still be talking about in 20yrs time. However, I cannot complete this review without mentioning my two most favourite magic moments.

The first magic moment is this wonderful scene at the grave of the recently buried little brat girl (who thankfully is terminated extremely efficiently by Ro-man). Suddenly, in the top left corner of the screen is this small dot. Which starts slowly getting larger and larger. You eventually realize it's a shirtless George Nader running to the graveside. George keeps jumping rocks and branches as he eventually makes his way to the grave. Keep running George. Eventually, he finally gets to the grave, to tell the parents that Ro-man has their adult daughter. At which point, he instantly collapses, and is immediately pronounced dead. The timing is so exquisite, you will rewind the film, just to see this wonderful setup and delivery, again and again.

The second magic moment is a touching piece of prose which I feel has been ignored by scientists / engineers around the world as a personal incantation when confronted with a crisis. Basically, Ro-man doesn't want to kill the girl because he is having 'strange feelings' towards her (much like the strange feelings my neighbors dog had for my leg when I visited a few days ago). Alas, his superior wants her (and everyone else) killed. We then have this lovely 'to camera' moment, when a creature, consisting of the body of a gorilla, and the head of a deepsea diving helmet plus antenna, laments to the viewer:

'I cannot, yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do must and cannot meet? Yet I must. But I cannot'.

If only Macbeth and Hamlet had consider life as deeply, they might not have died.

Robot Monster is definitely recommended viewing – just don't do it alone. Invite around your closest friends, and you will be bonded with enough 'But what about when …' experiences for the next two months. And how many modern films can claim to be able to do that.

this is one super cheesy film. it's also fun to watch for that very reason. where plan 9 from outer space is just too boring to even laugh at, this film is way off the silly meter.

if the robot monster costume (or his name... "ro-man" LOL) weren't enough, there's plenty of fun dialogue. the pseudo scientific ramblings of ro-man and his boss are hysterical. the plot holes and contradictions are glaring and part of the film's charm. the whole thing plays like it was all made up on the spot and shot in one take.

the extreme low budget props are great too. it turns out that ro-man's video screen is made out of wood. if you live on a planet that can't afford silver spraypaint, then conquering earth sounds like a plan. LOL

this is one bad film that doesn't need MST3K to give you stomach aches from laughing. if you're expecting a quality film, then this one definately isn't for you. if you're a fan of "so bad their good" films, this one is the cream of the crop.

If you could pick one single movie which fueled the bad sf/horror movie cult popularized by The Golden Turkey Awards and 'Mystery Science Theater 3000' then 'Robot Monster' would be it. Ed Wood's 'Plan Nine From Outer Space' is probably better known to mainstream audiences, especially since Tim Burton's fantastic Wood biopic, but 'Robot Monster' is just as good/bad, and the image of a lumbering goon in an over-sized gorilla suit with a diving helmet and antenna has become an iconic symbol of z-grade sci fi. Even people who don't know Ro-Man's name recognize his likeness and giggle. 'Robot Monster' isn't as inept technically as Wood's worst movies (especially his astonishing 'Glen Or Glenda'), but the script is as dumb as they get, the actors are wooden at best, and the not-so-special effects are laughable. What really makes this movie legendary is the "robot monster" himself, Ro-Man (George Barrows). You can help smirking every time you look at him, and when he pontificates on life and love the movie enters a new dimension of trash par excellence. And just dig that bubble machine and the unexpected (and totally irrelevant) use of stock dinosaur footage! Plus a score from (can you believe it?) Elmer Bernstein. 'Robot Monster' is a movie I never tire of watching. I still get a big kick out of it every time I see it. To say that it is absolutely essential viewing for anybody interested in cult movies is the understatement of the century! 'Robot Monster' is after all the movie that gave the world the term "psychotronic". Long live Ro-Man and all who smirk at his awesome calcinator death ray!