Blood Pageant

Blood Pageant is the kind of movie you want to see more than once!

The comedic romp behind the scenes of a reality show competition is very enjoyable! The PA (played by Leo Gilmore) says to the other PA (played by John Ernst) that "you never tell the producer's wife where the producer REALLY is." "These are things they don't teach you in film school." The producer (played by David Chokachi) is so well played and he is so caught up in his ratings that he doesn't even care about all the mysterious deaths and disappearances around him. He plays off of the uptight and frustrated British director (played by Steve Spiro) so well! The comedy they bring is worth enjoying. The movie arcs in horror and there are some cool scares, but this is not a slasher film. It is a campy comedy horror with a mysterious twist ending. Snoop Dogg was such a good addition as the judge of the reality show. Ten stars! I bought it on Amazon!

Who doesn't still want want Ted Lange (The Love Boat) as their friend and/or neighborhood bartender? Today, his infectious smile is just as inviting, and it shines as he welcomes you to the stage of "American Dream". "American Dream", the Reality TV show backdrop for this comedy-horror, features the ever adorably sweet Beverly Mitchell (7th Heaven) as one of its lovely beauty contestants. The KING of laidback... SNOOP DOG... has never been so chill.

As we get older we become nostalgic for anything that rewards us with memories from the less-burdened days of our youth. As an actor I appreciate, and enjoy, seeing familiar faces in unfamiliar roles.

BLOOD PAGEANT hit me in both the feels.

A funny fright-filled Horror Comedy about a reality show gone terribly wrong when one of the contestants uses New Age occult techniques and unwittingly unleashes the expected mayhem on her fellow competitors. The film expertly and hilariously skewers the completely contrived world of "reality" TV while delivering some legit scares. My lady friend accidentally threw nachos all over me in one of the scenes! Snoop Dogg and Stephen Baldwin were cool guest stars and Baldwin's biggest scene was surprisingly moving. It was good, spooky, easy to watch fun full of pretty people who die mostly deserved deaths. Grab your gin and juice, sit back and enjoy!

This is so absolutely inept, poorly made, amateurish and annoying that it's unfair to label it as a film. I can only imagine they spent their budget on Snoop Dogg's cameo, (or somehow 'Bowfinger-ed' him into the film), and everyone else worked for free. There's a few actors trying hard, but the direction so absent, the cinematography so stale, and a story so nonsensical - this isn't even "fun" bad... it's just bad. And kind of depressing.

And then it slowly becomes frighteningly apparent this isn't a normal horror movie - it's "faith based." It's a non-horror horror film, where any scares or laughs are lost to nonsensical monologues about the power of Jesus. It's almost as if Jesus' PR team paid for product placement throughout the film.

Not all faith based, or Christian films are bad, (The Exorcist, The Mission, Constantine are all different, unique, compelling and entertaining), but this one definitely is. For both the faithful and non-faithful this is nothing but a weird, confusing and boring exercise in formulaic filmmaking with zero creativity, intellect or sense of humour.

Who is writing all the 10 and 9 star reviews for this movie?? Snoop was literally the only saving grace! Terrible acting, dialogue, plot, music- really it is pretty unwatchable, but I must be a glutton for punishment, because I watched the whole thing! :D :D :D :D.