Sansón

5/23/18. I grew up on Biblical epic movies so I love catching them over the years. However, this was awful. I only watched this because Lindsay Wagner was in it and haven't seen her since her Jaime Sommers days as The Bionic Woman. Though older (no plastic work, thank goodness) she gave her role the heart it needed. But the rest was just awful. Watch the 1949 Hedy Lamarr/Victor Mature classic, Samson and Delilah. Hands down, no contest. This is another example of another unnecessary remake.

Biblical movies are hot topic films that often don't get their fair reviews, wedged between two extremes that are unrelenting. While there have been some amazing films to capture the lessons of the Lord, there are others that fall short of the glory. This weekend, another attempt to bring the stories to visual splendor this time focusing on the tale of Samson and Delilah. You may not have seen the trailers, but the teaser did not hold much promise for this film, with a Taylor Lautner look alike taking center screen amidst a lot of extras. Still, yours truly hits another round of movies to bring you another review. Does this film succeed or is it just bleeding your pockets dry? Let's get started on the analysis, shall we?

LIKES:

Orchestra work: Not the most unique or creative, but the orchestra work in Samson brings an emotional curb to the scene or sequence it is covering. The booming cannons, the sharp trumpets blaring honorably, and the deep drums all combine to form a symphony that mirrors the ferocity of Samson's strength. Without this track, the edge portrayed in the trailer would not be there.

Biblical Look: Okay, okay I'm drawing straw here, but the setting looked like a decent representation of old world towns, palaces, and shacks. Samson's cast have a bountiful environment to work in, from dried up forests, to the open desert plains. The shots are beautiful, and some of the made-up settings look legitimate, especially the outside shots of the CGI built palaces. A nice start, but the budget needed to be expanded to really clean up the rougher edges of the setting.

The Biblical Message: In these types of movies, one strives to learn the Lord's lessons, perhaps as a means to reconnect with their spiritual side. Samson manages to do this, using both the narratives and physical prowess scenes to help spread the message of going to God. The latter in particular are very pronounced prayers, going out of the way to dramatize the kneeling and shut eyes as he communicates with God. This usually follows with some super hero feats, from bashing a person's rib cage in with a punch or pushing open a gate that has no chance of opening. Combined with the music, church goers will love seeing the power of God manifest in Samson's deeds.

DISLIKES:

Unpolished Acting/Writing: One major problem with Samson is that much of the movie feels unfinished, unpolished, and quite weak. Many of the characters act at one extreme or the other, with many of the performances almost feeling like they were uninterested in the part. When dramatic moments hit, the prolonged speeches, and acts of passion were on the other end of the spectrum, very melodramatic and a little cheesy. I can't pinpoint if this is due to the writing, the direction, or something else, but it didn't meet the Oscar quality they might have been shooting for.

Rushed Story: The acting can be stomached, but the story, well that is where things really take a dive. Samson's tale is epic, and one would hope to see that legendary story have all the meaning and development it needed. Sadly, this film failed to bring the story to full light. All the major points are covered, but much of it is a rushed, diluted mess that lacks suspense, quality, or even satisfaction. Character deaths happen in the blink of an eye, punishments lack the movie magic to actually make you feel the pain in your heart and given the writing/acting...things don't feel believable in the performance. Like many movies, they seemed to try and cram everything in to a short run time and it didn't work for me.

The Action: Okay, seeing a Hebrew take on corrupt, pigheaded soldiers, is always satisfying given the portrayal of bad guys in Hollywood. However, Samson's strength falters not in terms of power, but in terms of quality in the fight scenes itself. Much of the movie is just the well-toned body of Taylor James being framed in a close up, with him performing the same, habitual punch/bash over and over again. Oh yeah, they have a little mix up, but it's nothing impressive as it resorts back to the usual bashing before seeing a shot of a poor extra pretending to die. Sword play is lacking, suspense again is gone, and even the main bad guys feel weak in terms of epic villainy and thrilling fights. Like much of this movie, they cut corners on this aspect and it didn't pay off.

Overall:

The legendary story of Samson is an epic one about the power of God and filled with morals about trusting the Almighty one with your life. Sadly, this film was not able to glorify it the way it needed to be. Whether it is due to a limited budget, a short time limit, or rookie status, the movie cut too many corners as they tried to cram everything they could into a short time frame. Mediocre acting, rushed story, and lackluster action more than overshadow the visuals and message in this movie, setting another example of how Hollywood doesn't necessarily mean quality. So, while the spiritual power is good, Robbie recommends skipping this installment at least until RedBox that is... and I can only marginally recommend this.

My scores are:

Action/Drama: 4.5 Movie Overall: 4.0

On the weekend where everyone and their mother is watching Black Panther, I watched Samson on opening night..... I do have plans to see Black Panther in a day or two, so no worries. With Samson I was expecting a pretty bad film but something that could bring cheesy fun. When you go in with expectations like that, you get exactly what you ask for. Samson is bad, its cheesy, nonsensical, and poor on cinematic effects but did you really expect any different?

This film is the live adaptation of the story of the same name from the Book of Judges. Its about Samson, a man with incredible strength given by God and his rival Prince Rallah. Rallah murders Samson's wife and sends his army after Samson. Ultimately, Samson is betrayed by Delilah, and Samson loses his power. If you aren't familiar with the religious story, I'd say its quite an interesting story which was the main reason why I wanted to see it. Its bad, make no mistake about it.

The lead actor looks rather identical to Taylor Lautner if he was more buff. The acting and dialogue all around is atrocious. Samson himself becomes an annoying character because you realize how incredibly illogical some decisions are. The film has a lot of dumb moments but its laughable at least. The visual effects, especially the scenes where they show the ancient city look very computerized. At least the film had chubby Billy Zane though.

I doubt many people know about this film or even want to ever watch it. Overall, its a wreck and its exactly what is expected from a film about a historically religious character. The film sets up a tease for what seems like David v Goliath so I think we might have to prepare for a Religious Cinematic Universe.

5/10

This is quite the throwback for me to movies I used to watch as a kid. I can only imagine that this was what the aim was from the filmmakers themselves. Maybe you are nostalgic to those times and movies and find something to love here ... something others couldn't see.

Having said that, there is a lot of "cheese" and there is a lot of unintentional comedy. Like when the bad guy kills of a main character and says "I may not be as strong as you ..." and so forth (he may have used different analogies) - basically saying, I am not worthy .. but at least I'm alive. By the way the expressions of the person killed are ... really good actually! Almost feel too good a "death scene" for such a cliche moment/movie.

Anyway some really funny things than, but overall you have to be a swords and sandals fan to even make it all the way through. It's not really bad, but will feal like torture for those unprepared and unwilling to suspend their disbelief.

They were the epitome of the couple of Bibical times....They did not have the advantage of CGI, and yet was very well done for its time, and the acting as well and the music score, ant the Tecnicolor at its best.