- Lois Lane: We're so different. I was just some punk rock kid from Bakerline and you're... Superman.
- Superman: I'm punk rock.
- Lois Lane: [laughing] You are not punk rock.
- Superman: I like the Strangle Fellows, the P.O.D.s, and the Mighty Crabjoys.
- Lois Lane: Those are pop radio bands, they're not punk rock. The Mighty Crabjoys suck.
- Superman: Ah, well, a lot of people love 'em.
- Lois Lane: My point is I question everything and everyone. You trust everyone and think everyone you've ever met is, like... beautiful.
- Superman: Maybe that's the real punk rock.
- Lex Luthor: You piece of shit, alien!
- Superman: That is where you've always been wrong about me, Lex. I am as human as anyone. I love, I-I get scared. I wake up every morning, and despite not knowing what to do, I put one foot in front of the other, and I try to make the best choices that I can. I screw up all the time, but that is being human, and that's my greatest strength. And someday, I hope, for the sake of the world, you understand that it's yours too.
- Lex Luthor: Oh, that's beautiful. But none of this matters, you patronizing clown. The government gave me authority to kill you. If not today, then-
- [gets attacked by Krypto]
- Superman: The DOJ has a warrant out for my arrest, so I'm gonna turn myself in.
- Lois Lane: Wait, what? Why?
- Superman: Maybe they'll take me wherever they took the dog. I don't know how else to find him.
- Lois Lane: It's a dog.
- Superman: Yeah, and he's not even a very good one, but... he's out there alone. And he's probably scared.
- Superman: You're driven by envy, Luthor. You couldn't be more obvious!
- Lex Luthor: No shit, I'm not dim. I'm aware envy consumes my every waking moment. 13L.
- [Ultraman blasts Superman in the eyes with his lasers]
- Lex Luthor: I know when they mention Galileo or Einstein or one of these other twits in the same breath as me, I feel a tide of vomit burn the back of my throat! But at least Galileo did something. He wasn't some dopey Venusian catapulted onto this planet just to have the world fawn over him! Because his strength illuminates how WEAK we all really are! So, my envy is a calling! It is the sole hope for humanity, because it is what has driven me to annihilating you! 1A! 1A! 1A! 1A! 1A! 1A! 1! A!
- Pa Kent: [to Clark] Parents aren't for tellin' their children who they're supposed to be. We are here to give y'all tools to help you make fools of yourselves all on your own.
- Guy Gardner: How do you even know Superman, anyway?
- Lois Lane: I... just do.
- Guy Gardner: So, you know about the hypno glasses.
- Hawkgirl: Now she does.
- Guy Gardner: Well, I'm not saying who he is. Just that he wears hypno glasses. They make his face...
- [looks at Mr. Terrific]
- Guy Gardner: Terrific, how do they work?
- [Looks back at Lois]
- Guy Gardner: They make his face look different in your brain when he wears them so that you don't know who he is.
- Lois Lane: Yes, I know this first of all, but second of all, you really shouldn't be telling me this in case I DON'T know who he is.
- Guy Gardner: So you know he's Clark Kent.
- Lois Lane: Oh, my god! Why does he trust everyone?
- Guy Gardner: He doesn't. Just us because we are also of the cloth.
- Lois Lane: Of the cloth?
- [Gardner points at his costume]
- Mr. Terrific: Hey! This ain't playtime! Quit messin' around! We have to get to Luthor to stop the rift.
- Superman: I'm not messing around. I'm doing important stuff.
- Maxwell Lord: The one thing that liberals and conservatives can finally agree on is that Lex Luthor sucks.
- Vasil Ghurkos: I know you won't kill me! You are too delicate and weak... like Superman!
- Hawkgirl: Ha. I'm not like Superman.
- [drops him to his death]
- Lois Lane: That haircut should be against your vows!
- Guy Gardner: That what? That what should be what? I'll have you know, 348 chicks say otherwise!
- Lex Luthor: I can't stand the Metahumans, but he's so much worse. Super... 'man'. He's not a man. He's an it. A thing with a cocky grin and a stupid outfit, that's somehow become the focal point of the entire world's conversation. Nothing's felt right since he showed up.
- Lois Lane: You have a flying saucer, but you couldn't get a faster garage door?
- Mr. Terrific: I haven't worked on that yet.
- Gary: Sir?
- Superman: [seeing Fortress of Solitude become a complete mess] What is this? Krypto!
- [Krypto appears and drags Supes's cape by mouth]
- Superman: What the hey, dude? I thought... you destroyed the whole...
- [Turns to his robots]
- Superman: Superman robots, I thought I told you to keep an eye on him!
- Gary: We feed the canine, but he is unruly. And he realizes we are not flesh and blood and couldn't, in our heart of hearts, care less whether he lives or dies.
- Hawkgirl: [referring to Metamorpho] That was sick! Guy, maybe he should join the group!
- Guy Gardner: [scoffs] Please. I mean, no offense, but that creepy mug is what you want representing The Justice Gang?
- Metamorpho: Justice Gang? That's a cool name!
- Guy Gardner: You're in.
- [Hawkgirl sighs annoyed]
- Mr. Terrific: You brought that dog, man?
- Superman: Yeah, I... I didn't want him killing my parents' cows.
- Superman: [as the Justice Gang brutally fight the kaiju] Good gosh, there's gotta be a better way to do this!
- Gary: [a drunken Kara Zor-El crashes into the Fortress of Solitude] Sir, I think your cousin has returned.
- Superman: Yup...
- Kara Zor-El: What the hell, dude? Why did you move the door?
- Superman: I didn't move the door.
- Kara Zor-El: And where is my dog?
- Superman: [Krypto flies and pounces Kara as she laughs] Okay, well this is why he has behavioral issues.
- Gary: No boundaries.
- [Krypto keeps playing aggressively with Kara as she keeps laughing]
- Gary: It's not healthy, is it?
- Superman: [condescendingly] Mm-mm.
- Perry White: [about Superman and Lois] How long have they been hooking up?
- Jimmy Olsen: About 3 months, I think.
- Sydney Happersen: Mr. Terrific, I can help close the rift!
- Mr. Terrific: I don't need your help. I'm goddamn Mr. Terrific.
- Cleavis Thornwaite: Ever since the discovery of the Kryptonian's master plan, he's gone off the deep end. Thoughts, Chris?
- Peacemaker: Can't say I'm surprised, Cleavis. It's guys like this, they always got a whole bunch of dark, ugly secrets.
- Cleavis Thornwaite: What do you mean, "guys like this?"
- Peacemaker: Thinks he's better than everybody else. Makes this declaration he's against killing people unless it's absolutely necessary. Really, dude? It kinda sounds like you're trying to make the guys who are a little more edgier than you look like jerks. Know what I mean?
- Cleavis Thornwaite: Mm-hm.
- Peacemaker: A lot of these guys, these heroes from the magazines, they're obsessed with me. 'Cause I'm more jacked than they are.
- Lois Lane: [Mr. Terrific's T-Sphere finds Superman with Krypto, Metamorpho, and Baby Joey in the pocket universe] Do you have him?
- Mr. Terrific: Them. Superman, a mean dog in a cape, a weird baby, and a squiggle man.
- Lois Lane: ... What?
- Eve Teschmacher: I thought you wanted to see me, Jimmy.
- Jimmy Olsen: I-I do, but Eve, how could I even really see you with Lex still in the picture?
- Eve Teschmacher: [upset] You're just trying to get information out of me.
- Jimmy Olsen: I swear to god, that's not it. I-I just know that if I could get some real dirt on him, then... maybe the two of us could...
- Eve Teschmacher: [lighting up] Could be together again?
- Jimmy Olsen: [after a long pause] ... Yeah.
- Eve Teschmacher: [Eve smiles for a moment, but looks away upset again] But you said my toes look like someone spilled shrimp cocktail on the floor.
- Jimmy Olsen: You have unconventional toes, who cares? There's other parts of you that people would find very attractive!
- Eve Teschmacher: Lex tortured a dog the other day.
- Jimmy Olsen: JESUS CHRIST!
- Eve Teschmacher: I know.
- Lex Luthor: [Superman grins even as he's being beaten] Oh, what are you smirking at, you idiot?
- Superman: Brain beats brawn.
- [to Ultraman]
- Superman: Sorry, chum.
- [whistles for Krypto]
- Lex Luthor: Just my Monkey-Bots here, farming outrage 24/7. Trashing you online.
- Superman: [annoyed] Hashtag Supershit.
- Lex Luthor: Superman, we finally meet. Would you like a coffee?
- Superman: Where's the dog?
- Lex Luthor: Dog?
- Superman: The dog, Luthor! You took the dog!
- Lex Luthor: [Eve records Superman on her phone] That's right, Eve. Get all of this.
- [Superman flips Luthor's desk across the office against the window]
- Superman: WHERE'S THE DOG?
- Lex Luthor: I have no clue what you're talking about.
- Superman: [pause; calms down] He's just a dog.
- Lex Luthor: I don't know what dog you're talking about.
- [holds his mug up to his mouth]
- Lex Luthor: [muffled] Ugly dog in a cape?
- Superman: What did you say?
- Lex Luthor: Hmm? I didn't say anything.
- Mr. Terrific: [as the pocket universe portal starts tearing the earth open] This is why you don't create a damn pocket universe!
- Superman: I've been trying to figure out a way to get it out of here alive.
- [pause]
- Superman: Get it someplace where we can study it.
- Mr. Terrific: Oh, come on, man.
- Superman: What?
- Mr. Terrific: [shouts] Go for its eyes!
- Hawkgirl: [Shrieks and Shouts]
- [creature grumbles]
- Hawkgirl: My knee! Guy, help!
- Guy Gardner: I made giant oven mitts!
- Hawkgirl: Good for you, asshole! I'm getting blinked to death!
- [the first-half of Jor-El and Lara's message to Superman]
- Jor-El: We love you more than Heaven, our son. We love you more than land. Our beloved home will soon be gone forever, but hope vitalizes our hearts. And that hope is you, Kal-El.
- Lara: We have searched the universe for a home where you can do the most good, and live out Krypton's truth. That place is Earth.
- Lois Lane: [interviewing Superman] Did you consult with the President before entering Boravian airspace?
- Superman: [sighs] No.
- Lois Lane: The Secretary of Defense?
- Superman: Nope.
- Lois Lane: Or... any US official before you took matters into your own hands and decided unilaterally how to handle this extremely delicate situation?
- Superman: Ghurkos and his goons were going to kill people!
- Lois Lane: Yes, but the results of you seemingly acting as a representative of the United States will cause more problems around the world...
- Superman: [talking over Lois] I wasn't representing anyone, except for me! And- and myself! And- and- and... good, I dunno, doing good!
- Lois Lane: [continuing] more than a war that lasted between 12 and 24 hours and was just replacing one tyrannical regime with another!
- Superman: Is that really how you feel?
- Lois Lane: I'm not the one being interviewed, Superman! But I- I'd question it, yeah! I would question myself in the same situation, and hold off a beat and consider the consequences!
- Superman: PEOPLE WERE GOING TO DIE!
- Kara Zor-El: [stumbling out of the Fortress of Solitude with Krypto] Thanks for watching him, bitch!
- Jor-El: [the second-half of Jor-El and Lara's message] The people there are simple and profoundly confused. Weak of mind and spirit and body. Lord over the planet as the last son of Krypton.
- Lara: Dispatch of anyone unable or unwilling to serve you, Kal-El. Take as many wives as you can, so your genes and Krypton's might and legacy will live on in this new frontier.
- Jor-El: Do us proud, our beloved son. Rule without mercy.
- Lois Lane: What's it called again?
- Guy Gardner: Justice Gang!
- Hawkgirl: Nope.
- Mr. Terrific: We're not called that.
- Guy Gardner: Yeah, your name is Mr. Terrific. You don't get a vote with a name like that.
- Guy Gardner: [after the Justice Gang kills the kaiju] Kaiju steaks all around, huh?
- Superman: I was hoping we could capture it and take it to an intergalactic zoo or... at least euthanize it less painfully.
- Guy Gardner: Come on, bro, don't be such a wuss.
- Lex Luthor: I think you overestimate the importance of Jarhanpur to me, Superman. That was just a bonus. I'm not killing you so the Boravian military conflict can proceed. I created the Boravian military conflict so I'd have an excuse to kill you! Once you involved yourself, I knew I could easily get our government's support in nullifying you.
- Superman: Why?
- Lex Luthor: Because you're destroying us!
- Superman: [a weakened Superman is being taken to a slab to get healed by the yellow sun] Thank you.
- Gary: No need to thank us, sir, as we will not appreciate it. We have no consciousness whatsoever. Merely automatons, here to serve.
- [gestures to Superman Robot #12]
- Gary: Meet Twelve. She's new.
- Superman: [looks at Twelve and nods] Hi...
- Superman Robot #12: [giggles] He looked at me!
- Guy Gardner: You wanna break a federally incarcerated prisoner out of jail?
- Lois Lane: Look, I think this is being done to keep him from interfering with the Boravian invasion.
- Guy Gardner: No, you look. I'm a Green Lantern, lady. That means I took a vow not to get involved in politics.
- Mr. Terrific: Oh, that's part of the vows?
- Guy Gardner: It's implied. Yeah.
- Mr. Terrific: An implied vow?
- Hawkgirl: Every time there's something he doesn't want to do, he says it's part of some vow.
- Guy Gardner: Oh I swear to God, I am two seconds away from forming a giant hammer and beating you both to death!
- Mr. Terrific: [as Krypto chews up one of the T-Spheres] Are you kidding me? Those things aren't cheap!
- Superman: [Superman is taken prisoner to the pocket dimension where Luthor is waiting for him] Your obsession with me is getting a little creepy.
- Lex Luthor: [after executing Mali in front of Superman] I'll be back later with someone else you've chatted with, and I'll kill them too. Maybe that reporter you always do interviews with. Maybe I'll kill Clark Kent next.