Andròn: The Black Labyrinth

I don't know if this is the absolute worst movie that I've ever seen but it is certainly a contender. Believe me, it's not a movie that's so bad that it's good . . it's just BAD.

It's a vampire that sucks up an hour and forty minutes of your time that could have been spent on something more entertaining, like hammering No.2 pencils into your corneas.

This movie does not suspend disbelief, it celebrates it. My impression was that everyone involved just wanted to get the thing in the "done" column so they could go do something (anything) else.

It seems that no effort was spent on trying to immerse the viewer so it was torture seeing it through to the end as a detached observer rather than being drawn in to a subjective, personal experience. They just didn't make me care a bit about any of the characters', it would have been more interesting and more dramatic watching insects fly around one of those bug zappers.

The only award this stinker deserves is a felony conviction for impersonating entertainment.

I'm sure I won't be the only person asking the question whether Alec Baldwin and Danny Glover really needed a paycheck that badly to be in this catastrophe of a movie? After selecting it from Redbox, I came home and saw the 2.8 rating on IMDb and knew I was in big trouble.

I could go on and on writing how on so many levels this film is abysmal. Let's just say I found the "plot" to be a convoluted mess, the emotionless acting left me uncaring about any of the characters, and I would have turned it off much earlier but I stuck it out, I imagine, to write this review.

All in all, just a very painful hour and a half.

This movie is unbearable bad.

Bad acting is cloaked with a story of such stupidity that it is only matched by its complexity. Nearly not bearable and completely useless. No Message, just fragments of mismatching story parts combined with brain dead violence.

If - after watching this movie - I'd been asked for a plot, I'd honestly have to say: "Sorry, no clue. But there's dramatic music, minor special effects and some violence"

An absolute need not see.

Let's hope the don't waste any money for a sequel.

The Score: unoriginal, regurgitated, and outdated. A few of the pieces sounded like they were lifted off the Mortal Kombat soundtrack.

The Acting: horrendous... it's so bad that characters who are supposed to be dead, are clearly seen breathing on film.

The dialogue: worse. There are lines that are completely redundant... like they've been thrown in there due to lack of anything coherent by the writers.

The saddest part: Skin is terrible. I cringed every time she tried to "act." I don't know why, but she kept sounding like she was reading her dialogue to kindergarteners.

I want to give this movie a higher rating due to Baldwin & Glover being involved, but they don't add even a percentage of class or relief to this movie.

My quick rating - 3,2/10. Well, not the WORST movie I have ever seen, but pretty awful. A group of really bad actors I mean, slaves, are put in some dungeon and must fight there way out.They call it a maze yet always seem to know where things are. Anyway, the group faces a madman (Alec Baldwin, who must've lost a bet and dragged Danny Glover into this mess) that is trying to eliminate their spirit for a game show? I think I have it right. Hard to tell but for some reason the "bad guys" who can shoot lightning from their hands and morph their bodies tend to resort to fist fighting for no apparent reason. Of course, a couple of the detainees are poor martial artists, but that goes without saying (or they are good martial artists who are choreographed so poorly that their sensai will be furious this was ever filmed). I really don't know if their is much redeeming about this movie and if I didn't use gut instinct on my rating, reflecting as I type this, I almost want to knock it down even lower. Don't bother since there are plenty of decent to good movies out there waiting for you.