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joebridge

März 2006 ist beigetreten
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Bewertung von joebridge
Paranormal - Im Bann der Aliens

Paranormal - Im Bann der Aliens

3,8
1
  • 1. Nov. 2011
  • Return to Sender...

    Alien Siege - Tod aus dem All

    Alien Siege - Tod aus dem All

    3,5
    1
  • 28. Okt. 2011
  • The Next Plan From Outer Space...

    The next plan from outer space (plan 10? 11? 12 1/2?) involves a small group of aliens with white eyebrows. This helps the viewer to understand that they are aliens and not human, although many old HUMANS I have seen do indeed have white eyebrows. Oh well, they tried. Though they come from a distant galaxy, they somehow are able to use (primarily) human blood to heal their illness, and this involves harvesting humans with the government's permission. They hold lotteries, apparently, to see who is going.

    The makeup is atrocious - some sort of bluish price-reduction sticker on their cheeks and some sort of mossy-coloured squashed play-doh stuck on their neck. I almost expected to see newspaper hats. One Adams-family-like alien talks in a completely different manner and accent than the others. His voice also has such a high, hissy lisp, it is almost above the range of human hearing. I had to really focus and turn the volume up every time he spoke. It was akin to an animated snake reading Gothic poetry. Somehow, he even lisped letters like "b" and "k"...

    The most hilarious scene in this movie in when the alien tapes a girl's mouth shut with duct tape. This utterly ridiculous scene should really be put on a special compilation video of bad Science Fiction. So... not only do aliens from a distant galaxy have duct tape, they also carry it on their person just in case a human starts talking and annoys them, apparently.

    The other funniest thing is that when a car (or space ship) is shot with the laser weapon, it somehow turns into a flying cluster of metal storm gutters and other random bits.

    A lot of strange stuff going on in this movie, yet not quite hilarious enough to invest too much time in it... Watch Marvin the Martian shorts instead, I think he uses the same weapons.
    Freeway

    Freeway

    6,8
  • 15. Juli 2011
  • Wait... So This Movie Was Released in the West?

    I just saw this movie, and as soon as it started with the bizarre, embarrassingly bad "Red Riding Hood" opening credits and horrid cheap-sounding soundtrack, I was certain it was some sort of fake "knock-off" video, especially as someone gave me this copy as sold in Indonesia. The ending credits were really bad and fake-looking as well, so maybe both were replaced in the Indonesian version, not sure, but it also is so bad throughout, perhaps the entire movie was replaced? While watching this, my friends and I were almost certain the actor credits were fake and that it was filmed by a group of amateur film-makers (as it was so utterly badly made - I was certain it was made in Indonesia or other Foreign country and was meant to make fun of the West), until Keifer Sutherland showed up and we were fairly certain it was him. Was this a straight-to-video movie? It was just so badly made and badly acted even for a dark comedy. Just because it is a comedy doesn't mean you have to act as if you are playing around with the script and not saying the lines in any way that makes sense.

    The acting was so disturbingly over-the-top bad, the accents annoying and ridiculous throughout (sounded mostly like hillbillies from the more isolated areas of Kentucky - yet supposedly was taking place in California), and the actors themselves looking so awful in every way possible (even Brooke Shields looked as if they used CGI to warp her body into something not quite human in that weird sailor outfit - again unless our copy was tampered with), I'm certain this was MEANT to be a farce/comedy, especially with the ludicrous climax regarding the actual Little Red Riding Hood story - which kind of added insult to injury - how could any writer be THAT ridiculous? Obviously it wasn't meant to be crime drama or anything like that, even though the premise suggested it was drama. It does have an overwhelming "quickly made television movie" and "print every first take" feel.

    So it appears that this movie (or a version of it) WAS released in the USA (not sure about here in Australia) after all? I'm still fairly certain our copy was tampered with (especially the ridiculous looking and sounding opening and ending credits - that were in static-ridden Foreign-sounding music and in mono - which wouldn't meet even the lowest standards these days), as nothing could be that badly made and be released. Most of us thought that it was one of those "experimental" films that was made especially for places like Indonesia and never placed directly in the actors' credits, and which wasn't released elsewhere, but seeing the information on IMDb is quite stunning in its implications about the general populace... Unbelievable.
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