unclejeff

There's a delicious irony that a movie from Hallmark, a channel not necessarily known for originality in its output, would produce a film largely centered around assembly line production. And this one is no exception - overworked corporate female, hunky small-town single dad, fish out of water storyline, break-up to make-up last quarter... I'm learning that the main component of reviewing a Hallmark movie is your engagement with its lead characters. And I must say, Gubelmann and Penny (sounds like an accounting firm) are appealing if not overly memorable. I was getting major Kristin Chenoweth and Luke Wilson vibes from their performances here. Yes, it's as substantial as a Peeps Marshmallow bunny, and yes, you'll be able to predict everything that happens after the first 15 minutes. But I can't say I wasn't entertained, and there's lots of chocolate, which doesn't hurt. You'll forget its existence by Memorial Day, but you'll have a reasonably good time.

Lange's Best Actress win for this movie has not aged well for many of the movie reviewers and Oscar pundits I read and listen to regularly. It doesn't help that 1994 is arguably one of the worst years for actresses in recent history. That being said, I honestly find Lange pretty mesmerizing and hypnotically watchable here - she IS the movie. No one plays borderline mentally unstable and carnally sexual characters better than Lange, and if nothing else, this film touches on all her strengths as an actress. The film surrounding her is very good if not great, but it frankly dives whenever Lange is offscreen. Jones is always a reliable actor, but he feels a little on automatic pilot here. There are some nice supporting turns, including Carrie Snodgress as Boothe's wife, but Hurricane Jessica pretty much blows through this movie leaving no stone unturned. And I personally have no problem with her Best Actress victory. Interestingly, this film was made around four years before its release but remained on the shelf indefinitely due to financial problems with its studio. So, in many ways, it's a miracle that this film saw the light of day let alone became an Oscar winner.

I can honestly say without the slightest bit of artifice or exaggeration that there is not a single, solitary moment of this movie that makes any sense whatsoever. I didn't know who these people were, what their mission was, what they were trying to accomplish, who were the heroes and who were the villains... It is a series of clips strewn together without the slightest bit of cohesion. Truthfully, I wouldn't have given this turkey a second glance. But when I saw Erin Moran (Joanie from HAPPY DAYS) and neurotic astronaut mentioned in the first sentence of the description, I hit PLAY faster than you could say Where's Chachi?! And she is as bad as you would imagine - but then so is everyone else. The need to add a gratuitous scene of nudity is absolutely shameful and unnecessary. The special effects are on par with a Laser Cats skit on Saturday Night Live. The screenplay is filled with such witty repartee as: "Aren't you frightened?" "I'm too scared to be." How this missed out on an Original Screenplay Oscar is incomprehensible. I am giving this half of a star solely for some of the scattered moments and performances here and there that have a fun camp quality. Otherwise, it's not even enjoyable on a bad-movie-lover level. Look for Robert Englund just a few years shy of beginning his life as Freddy Krueger.