Ozzdan85

I sometimes forget why I don't find myself in a movie theater anymore. People would ask me why...and I would find myself speechless, without any memory of reason.

That is, until, I got a free pass to go see DATE MOVIE (yeah...free and I still felt robbed...robbed of an hour and forty-minutes or so I could've spent sitting on my couch watching "REN and STIMPY" cartoons I got the night before).

My first question was this: how can a comedy spoof other comedies? It's unheard of and useless. I guess, in this case, all you do is take material and scenes from those films and mash them into a loaf, making once entertaining sequences and quotes a bleak excuse to waste a few hundred million on placing a roll on a reel.

Hey...It's not the cast's fault. Alyson Hannigan, as cute as she is talented, does what she can with the script that was thrown at her. It is nice to see her back on the screen, because I kind of dislike CBS's boring sitcom, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (trust me, she's the light on that otherwise dark, dreary Monday night time slot). Tim Meadows, a fine comic actor, seems to be out of work these days. Sure, we all loved him in LADIES MAN, and I was taken by surprise when he showed up in MEAN GIRLS (shut up...I liked that one, too). Hee hee...TV legend Fred Willard shows up a bit. Sadly, it's a far cry from his amazing performance in ANCHOR MAN and ends up just being a pitiful desperation to star in more movies. All else...none of the other cast members are worth mentioning. In fact, the whole movie in general isn't worth mentioning. The only thing I enjoyed here was Carmen Electra's nice cameo (it was ruined, however, by a KING KONG parody and a sex-crazed 12 year old native boy snapping pictures with his cell phone camera. The nerve).

I don't want to offend, but when I sat through what they claimed was a motion picture, I began to envy the seeing and hearing impaired, praying to God to have both placed upon me until the film's rolling credits were either starting or gone all together. Truly...I was that depressed by it.

Not laughing a single time reminded me of watching episodes of WHO'S LINE IS IT ANYWAY? or THE NANNY...hell, especially GIRLFRIENDS.

Hollywood seems to let it all happen: Scientology, Hugh Grant's blowjob, gay cowboys, and DATE MOVIE. Nothing works anymore. It's as dry as a hillbilly's shower curtain. I used to want to fight for the return of Hollywood's Golden Age...but right now I ask: is it worth it?

Face it folks, DATE MOVIE is proof that filmmakers will make anything and viewers will view anything. Which one is the dumber of the two is a decision I'll let you, the nice reader, figure out after the big summer blockbuster run. Enjoy what little you can.

An age-old horror theme taking a turn into the Tarantino generation results in what could be the most clever modern vampire epic since FRIGHT NIGHT, and in my opinion, has held, and probably will hold for a while, that rank.

FROM DUSK TIL DAWN will have you craving for vampire gore throughout much of the first hour or so, but the pacing is nice enough to let you glide gracefully until you reach the climax, until then, all the great Tarantino writing and the Robert Rodriguez style action keeps you entertained and interested.

Sure, this film isn't for all horror purists, but when was the last time a film was loved by every single viewer who ever watched it? You won't hear me complaining at all about FROM DUSK TIL DAWN. It's a prime example of what a modern vampire flick should be, since every other possible way to make a good one has already been the key essence of those blood-sucker films from the 1920s until the mid 1970s.

There is now a fictional universe that is understood by a handful of people. Mayhem is everyday life. Guns lock and load every second. Simple people are pulled into the character's troubles against their will. Big Kahuna Burger joints spring up as fast as any McDonald's or Taco Bell. Foul language is just kind, normal speech. This is a universe that is only fully recognized by its creator. This is the Tarantino Universe.

---(Don't forget to pop a Red Apple in your mouth and light up!)

-D.T.

by far the best of the prequel trilogy, since Episode I was playful, yet goofy, and Episode II was just nothing more than a stray. still, despite "Revenge of the Sith"'s high production quality, disturbing moments and vicious battles, it still lacks the great quotes people have been repeating since 1977, and the charm of actors like Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Billy Dee Williams. the connection to the original trilogy and the recent films is complete, yet still a little shaky. all in all, i'm not going to be picky about it. the film is nothing short of fantastic, and it is highly, HIGHLY entertaining. the characters, such as Yoda, Mace Windu and Darth Sidious (especially him)were so well handled by Lucas that it's enough to redeem him for all of his odd mistakes with the whole Star Wars saga. kudos to the man in plaid. we were waiting for one of the prequels to nearly live up to the original trilogy. i still prefer episodes IV, V and VI over the newer ones. then again, who doesn't?