pixrox1

. . . to attend an air show than to see a movie. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: THE FINAL RECKONING illustrates how air shows have been ripping off the paying public for decades. If an arthritic ancient geezer can perform gymnastics all over not one but TWO small planes simultaneously, it stands to reason that every two-bit aerial exposition should feature 20- or 30-something youngsters hopping in and out of the cockpits of at least four or five planes during a pricier air show. Furthermore, when it comes to pyrotechnic airborne stunts, when an elder shows the way by burning up his primary chute mid-descent, a high-paid air expo performer must be able to incinerate his big tent and at least a couple of back-up chutes whenever he's gently floating back to Earth. Otherwise, movie goers are sure to feel cheated, and rightly so.

That is, if you specialize in roses, which have thorns. On the other hand, peonies have no thorns. During THE DEAD DON'T HURT, lead character Vivienne is shown with lots of roses, but no peonies. Peonies cannot hurt you, so she'd been better off switching to them. However, this week murderous thugs beheaded hundreds of peonies in the W. E. Upjohn plot devoted to them within the Matt Hay Botanical Garden at the University of Michigan. If you believe in Reincarnation, that adds up to a lot of hurt. This hits particularly close to home for me, since Upjohn is most famous for its Motrin pain killing pills. Last winter my person took ill, and began taking the maximum dose every day. A month later he was admitted to the hospital, and did not get out for three months. He was found to have a bleeding ulcer, among other things. While he's still alive, Pain is on and off. Maybe the peony vandals were also done in by Motrin, and have found these alternate blossoms to be a better pain reliever than Upjohn's more publicized product.

. . . were it not for the fact that Mr. Shoot-His-Mutt-Again turned it into a personal vanity project, in the fashion of FORREST GUMP and ZELIG. Yes, Marky Mark inserts himself into the action of nearly every scene of PATRIOT'S DAY, from the initial bomb blasts to the final boat massacre. Under the perverse influence of SHOOTER's Robert E. Lee, the tragedy of Boston Strong mutates into a madcap comedy, mixing together marathon wheelchair entrants who in Real Life have finished their 26.2 mile trek from Hopkinton to Beantown before the back of the pack joggers have even crossed the starting line within the smoke of the lethal backpacks. I was privileged to view this flick with someone who finished Boston's premier event 14 times, and then lost more than $20,000 buying a total lemon from one of Marky's business partners. He says PATRIOT'S DAY is what you'd expect to see, coming from a unscrupulous used car tout.