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Where to begin with this one? It's hard to describe how bad this film really is. I was never a fan of the way-too-long-running 'Police Academy' series back in their Eighties heyday, and always did my best to avoid them. Recently, though, I was at a friend's house when he insisted on watching the whole of this catastrophic waste of celluloid as it was being screened on ITV2 on a Sunday afternoon. Even by the low standards set by previous entries in this series, this has to be far worse than anyone could reasonably expect. I'm not without a sense of humour; slapstick and farce, when done by film-makers who actually know what they're doing, can be hilarious - see the 'Naked Gun' films. But the makers of this stinker seem to have no idea about any of the technical aspects that make a comedy movie work. This film is badly directed, has hardly any plot, and plays out like a string of poorly-staged practical jokes thrown together by an untalented bunch of film students. Most of the jokes are so puerile and pathetic that it's insulting to expect anyone older than about 8 years old to find them funny, and some of the dialogue gives the impression that it's been made-up on the spot because it's so weak and unfunny you can't believe it's actually been scripted. At least Steve Guttenburg had some idea about comic timing and delivery of lines - his absence here shows-up most of the rest of the cast looking awkward and embarrassing, delivering some of the weakest one-liners since 'The Krankies'. Anyone who finds this moronic monstrosity of a movie funny, desperately needs a sense of humour transplant.

I remember seeing this TV movie when it was first aired as part of BBC2's 'screen:play' series back in 1993, and it had quite an impact on me. Not only was it one of the few films I'd seen addressing the problems of homelessness, but it had some powerful performances, most notably by Robert Carlyle (the first time I'd come across this talented actor) and the much under-rated Kate Hardie (who gave a memorably impressive performance in Peter Medack's 'The Krays' (1990)).

The film dealt with the subject of homeless people in a compassionate way, but avoided the saccharin-induced sentimentalism you would expect of a Hollywood production, opting for more of a gritty, slice-of-life drama in the vein of Ken Loach, Mike Leigh or Alan Clarke. Other notable appearances in the film included George Costigan ('Rita, Sue & Bob Too', 1986) and Steven Mackintosh ('Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels', 1998). The film also marked the feature-length debut of director Antonia Bird, who'd previously worked on television series such as 'Eastenders', 'Casualty' and 'The Bill', but would later direct films like 'Face' (1997) and 'Ravenous' (1999), as well as the US production 'Mad Love' (1995) starring Hollywood icon Drew Barrymore.

It's a shame that dramas like this get forgotten about and left to gather dust on studio shelves; I doubt it's ever been screened again since it's first transmission a decade-and-a-half ago and as far as I know it's never had a video release (I had it taped on Beta-max at one point but my player has been on its last legs for some time!). If you ever do get the chance to see this film, though, it's well worth a look, even if just to see the early work of some of British cinema's more significant names.

After making a big impression on the horror genre with early gross-out splatter-comedies like 'Bad Taste' and 'Braindead' ('Dead Alive' USA), Peter Jackson's first step towards mainstream success was a major achievement, and probably one of the best independent films of the Nineties.

Set in Christchurch, New Zealand in the 1950s, it tells the true-life story of two teenage girls – Pauline Parker (Melanie Lynskey) and Juliet Hulme (Kate Winslet) – who form a dangerously obsessive relationship that ultimately leads to a shocking and tragic conclusion.

Not only was this a major turning point for director Jackson, it also introduced cinema-goers to the talents of the beautiful Kate Winslet, who impresses in her big-screen debut. The cast is uniformly impressive, however, with the relatively unknown Melanie Lynskey giving an outstanding performance in the central role. The direction and pace of the film ensure that the interest is sustained throughout, with many funny moments in the early scenes, and as the two girls immerse themselves in a world of fantasy and make-believe, Jackson creates a fairytale world, filling the screen with surreal and hallucinatory images.

Although the film has always been acclaimed by critics, it went largely unnoticed by mainstream audiences on its release, possibly due to the more 'arthouse' qualities of the film, and the lack of big name stars. If you haven't seen it, however, I urge you to do so - forthwith! Balancing moments of comedy, drama, fantasy and, ultimately, shocking and brutal violence, this is one of the most satisfying movie experiences one could ask for. Truly, a modern classic.