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Uinat

Juni 2003 ist beigetreten
Willkommen auf neuen Profil
Unsere Aktualisierungen befinden sich noch in der Entwicklung. Die vorherige Version Profils ist zwar nicht mehr zugänglich, aber wir arbeiten aktiv an Verbesserungen und einige der fehlenden Funktionen werden bald wieder verfügbar sein! Bleibe dran, bis sie wieder verfügbar sind. In der Zwischenzeit ist Bewertungsanalyse weiterhin in unseren iOS- und Android-Apps verfügbar, die auf deiner Profilseite findest. Damit deine Bewertungsverteilung nach Jahr und Genre angezeigt wird, beziehe dich bitte auf unsere neue Hilfeleitfaden.

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Sejtanov ratnik

Sejtanov ratnik

5,7
7
  • 4. März 2006
  • Evil Book, Monstrous Villains, Damsels In Distress And Whatnot… All In All A Fun Of Your Life

    Once upon a time there was a land far, far away, forgotten by almost every form of life, called Make-Believe. It was divided into two kingdoms Comedy and Drama and each was divided into several districts; Action, Adventure, Comedy, Crime, Mystery, Thriller, Romance, War and so many more that their names could not be remembered. Years of struggle proved that two kingdoms would be better off if they unite and they did so. The new kingdom became known as Comedy-Drama. And rulers named themselves Storytellers. And named the people Audience. And they told people tales that made them proud of who they are, and about fantastic things that never happened with such passion that Audience became addicted to the tales. The tales pushed them to make it through the day, so to say.

    Unfortunately for everyone old Storytellers of this land died and new came, weaker that those that were before, and these new only wanted to rob the Audience of the Make-Believe land. Since they could not live in harmony they divided once more into two kingdoms named Social-Political Comedy and Social-Political Drama. And both Storytellers told stories of past wars and oppressions that nobody cared much to hear, but Storytellers exploited these tales into oblivion. Why? One may ask. Because they wanted to make people numb and divert their attention from much more vial things that were happening at the same time. Their tales were full of holes, unsympathetic characters, feeling that were as warm as a winter breeze and actions beyond any logical reason.

    From time to time a new Storyteller came from the land of Make-Believe but was dishonored or brutally murdered by the Storytellers of old. For they didn't want to give up their power, and poor and tormented audience has given up all hope that someone might come and tell a new story. Like some of the tales they have heard are told in the kingdom of Hollywood, for example.

    In such tortured world came Stevan Filipovic with his story "Sejtanov Ratnik". He hoped that his tale of love, devotion, determination, filled with first class action and a dash of horror would snap the Audience out of their 10-year slumber and make them feel alive… again.

    High-School. Kids are crazy on hormones. The class looser and brownnoser Stanislav is the target of all bullying one can stand. One day while he was running to save his life, from what one may call a really bad beating, he finds an ancient book (Historia Oculta) that helps him summon a Turkish demon who serves him in exchange for fresh victims. The class misfits trio (Cane, Tica and Mirko) This tale is an homage to the 80's teenage horror-comedy flicks. The only difference from domestic film industry is that you can really believe the actors are teenagers not 30-some-year olds dressed into school uniforms and clean shaved. Fights are worthy of John Woo. Villains are menacing, totally crazy and funny. They reminded me of Bond villains, completely over the top. And this is good, 'coz if they were any woosier they would be ridiculous and stupid. Photography and cinematography are Oscar worth, and special effects thou not Peter Jackson's "King Kong" are top notch. Sory itself is simplified, but has no holes and plays itself quite nicely in the background. In the foreground we have our main characters trying to put the cat in the bag and stay in one piece as much as possible. And now our main characters: The HERO (Cane) is more or less could-be-right-guy-at-the-wrong-place-but-right-time. Has good lines (like most heroes do). Does his job well and makes it alive through the day. Will he get the girl and ride into the sunset? Do see the film and find out.

    Mirko, Cane's SIDEKICK is funny, witty and like all the sidekick around the world wise. It is also possible that he's smarter than the hero but I'll let others to decide. And in the sidekick manner he doesn't get the GIRL, but has good advices and always knows what to do. Or he seems to know so.

    The GIRL (Tica) is mouthful know-it-all. Thinks she's doing the right thing and is very, very self-confident but has absolutely no idea what's she really doing. And cannot choose between Cane and Bora. Or at least it seems so.

    The BOYFRIEND (Bora) is the only survivor of teenage massacre 10 years ago. He knows what's really going on and tries to put his two cents in. Capable of mean ass-kicking. Has one MO: Chuck-Will-Kill.

    The GANGSTER. Has a jeep but no neck. Has the funniest lines in the movie. Could be the comic relief character.

    The VILLAIN (Stanislav) is one of those lovable annoying villains you don't see in movies so often. Must admit, looks much like a Gollum in LotR. Wonderful squeaking, irritating voice.

    SEJTAN the merciless killing machine. Body count unknown, but he will yet prove himself worthy in the slasher's hall of fame.

    All in all this film is definitely worth your time and attention. You may like it or not but there's one thing you'll do for sure… fall in love with it. And do not forget; hail the Sejtan's name lour for if you do not, he will come and mess you up.
    Trespassing

    Trespassing

    3,9
    1
  • 4. Jan. 2005
  • Piece Of Dirt

    This movie is pure crap! It has a nice premise, but somewhere along the middle of the movie it loses everything that has pinned you down to the chair in the first place. Acting is oh, dear god! and the end... if you manage to stay awake before the end credits roll you're either an insomniac or a loony. Please, avoid this movie at all cost! Master copy should be sacrificed to gods of reason, and the director should burn at stake.

    Please, if you love your life don't see this movie. If you want something nice and fun see Texas Chainsaw Massacre, whatever version of the first part.

    My vote 0/10
    The Girl Next Door

    The Girl Next Door

    6,7
    7
  • 5. Sept. 2004
  • Show The Daddy (How It's Done)

    Let's get something clear first – I hate teenage comedies. Why? Because they're stupid, seriously NOT funny (at all I may add) and copycatted. Basic plot for a teen comedy goes something like this ('I've got the power'): A Guy who is usually a schmock, who nobody likes and bigger boys like to play pranks with him, falls in love with A Girl of some high status or whatever. He has A Buddy (or more) who is funny but ugly as hell, whit whom The Guy advises with. Now after a few minutes of boiling, add sex, nudity, foul language, a streak of homosexual references. Let it cook for about five minutes. If that's not enough, add more sex and nudity. After that add The Idiot (who will make The Guy regret he was born) and The Man (most good-lookin' guy in school). If THAT ain't enough add more nudity. This is a recipe for a BAD teen comedy…

    Unfortunately in the last 20 years there hasn't been a sincere teen comedy. The last good one I saw was 'The Breakfast Club' and that's… well I'll be damned… 20 years ago! After a series of teen comedies for retarded somebody has remembered how things used to be done in the old days and made The Girl Next Door. It doesn't have anything new to say about love or romance but it has a soul and 'a most appealing crew I saw in years' as one of my fellow IMDb colleague 'critics' wrote.

    Movie follows the basic teen plot: guy meets a girl, falls in love, loses the girl and spends the rest of the movie trying to win her back… The point is I never saw sidekicks so live, situations more-or-less real and confusion and fantasies presented with such reality. Script is excellent and jokes (told so many times now) are somehow revived and renewed so they look fresh and inspiring. The usual teen comic relief character (AKA The Idiot) is given a 'Max Payne' personality (see the movie, you'll get it). The sidekicks are excellently written and acted, and somehow reminded me of Bill & Ted. Surprisingly there are no 'bad guys' around, no slutty sex-crave college girls.

    Now as you can see, I really, really, really liked this movie. Please see it, you might like it too. 9/10
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