Steven H. Price

Robert Altman himself summed it up best. This movie would be impossible to do in America. His reason? No American casting agent would ever allow his actor to remain in the backround for most of the picture. Case in point, Alan Bates. Could you imagine, say, Gene Hackman in the role? I didn't think so. His agent just wouldn't allow it.

I won't give a synopsis of the plot, there are more than enough reviews that will you that. A weekend party is thrown, someone is murdered, and a detective shows up to try to solve the mystery.

While the movie occasionally seems to drag, it's well worth it's two and a half hour length. It give us, unlike other murder mysteries, time to really get to know the victim.

As to the cast, all are terrific. All the actors and actresses fit their roles to the letter (even Phillipe, which surprised me). Some standouts are Helen Mirren as one of the lead servants, and Kristen Scott-Thomas as the lady of the house. I always enjoy Charles Dance, and it was nice to see him in the credits. I found myself dubbing his character, Colonel Mustard! Clive Owen puts plenty of Charm into his servant role, and I wouldn't be shocked to see him take over the role of James Bond when Brosnan decides to opt out. And it was no surprise to me that Maggie Smith scored an oscar nomination. She steals the show as one of the socialites. Also providing a lot of comic relief was Stephen Fry's Inspector Tom......

But my favorite actor, and character, in the movie was Richard E. Grant's George. he had several funny moments. Plus, he got to spill coffee in Ryan Phillipe's lap. A good portion of why I went to the movie was because Grant was in it. I found myself perking up whenever his character was on screen.

Altman delivers once again, and I hope he continues to put out hits.

*****/***** 10/10

Let's face it. In this movie, Casper Van Dien sucked (No pun intended). Let's face it. Natasha Gregson Wagner sucked (Ditto). Let's face it. Rod Steiger Rocked! "Modern Vampires is an interesting attempt at horror/comedy bogged down by dismal performances from it's two leads. While Van Dien was pretty good in "Starship Troopers" he was abysmal in this film. Gregson Wagner couldn't act if her life depended on it. She's good eye candy, but her crying scene when she confronts her parents was terrible!

Udo Kier was great. Though he had little more than a cameo, it was wonderful to see him play another vampire role. He does it so well!

Also, I have to give kudos to Drew Carey star Craig Ferguson. He was very funny as the vampire comic relief. It was fun to see him outside of his Nigel Wick role on Drew Carey.

And Rod Steiger. If I had to give an award for the best actor in this film, Steiger wins hands down. Van Helsing has always been my favorite character in the Dracula films, and this version is no exception. Had the role not been included, I probably wouldn't have sat through this film at all. While I didn't like the fact that Van Helsing was turned into a former Nazi doctor, I have to admit that it fit into the time frame of the film, and, it was an interesting back story for the Van Helsing role. He did have some funny lines "Strike in the name of god and the Fuhrer!" And it was hilarious to see Van Helsing teamed up with a group of Gang Bangers. Plus, though I think you were supposed to feel otherwise, I was rooting for him to Kill off the Van Dien and Gregson Wagner characters and put me out of my misery. Does he? Well, you'll have to sit through it, like I did, to find out.

If I had to vote yes or no, should you see this movie, I would have to say yes. Though it is only do you can see the delightful performances of Rod Steiger, Craig Ferguson, and Udo Kier.

I give it a 3 out of ten. One point each for the aforementioned actors.