Not_Silent_Bob

Given the trailer with its rap (!) soundtrack, I went in expecting... not much. I was pleasantly surprised.

The original is one of my favourite films of all time. So I'm happy to report that at least I wasn't angry when I left the cinema. I knew it would never live up to the older film, and of course it doesn't. Here's why.

• The cast. You see, films like this need pathos. They need over-the-top drama. That's best delivered by stage actors TBH - look at Derek Jacobi. But Paul Mescal is far too slick for such a role. And sorry to say, but Denzel took me out of my fantasy every time he said something. Pedro Pascal comes close though. Connie Nielsen is right there.

It's questionable to use such big household names in films that are supposed to take you to another world that's ours, but not quite. It's like, hey, it's Pascal, now he's travelled to ancient Rome! This guy is *everywhere*!

This problem is why most horror films don't use big name actors. They can distract from the role they are playing. Happens a lot here. I didn't see Macrinus, I saw Denzel Washington playing Alonzo in Roman garb.

• Action. Yes, it's over the top & not the least bit grounded like the original. I can live with that, even if there are some scenes where you can't help but wonder how anyone could have got out of there alive. Well done though, except for the shaved monkey that looks like a monster from Lord of the Rings.

• Historical accuracy. Nope, none. Gladiator tried some and failed, this one doesn't even try. It's a fantasy that goes so far as to include at least one engraving in English (Maximus' tomb) and someone reading a bona fide printed newspaper.

• Grandeur. Yes, it's 'bigger', but it's still so much smaller. The older film understood that grandeur wasn't just about huge CGI sets. Just compare the 'victorious general enters Rome' scenes. In Gladiator it was perfect. The visuals, the music, the slow pace. Gladiator 2 is basically trying to recreate that 1:1. In comparison, it looks like something out of a 90s TV show, even though it probably cost 10 times more to make than it did 24 years ago. The same goes for the Colosseum scenes. Do you remember the first time Maximus entered that place? The sense of dread beforehand, the muted thunder of the crowd, the sense of wonder as that door opened, the sweeping shot? None of that is here, Lucius is just... suddenly there.

• The end. Oh dear. Was that a setup for another one?! Gladiator: Freedom Cry about creating a just democracy in 230 AD?

In conclusion: I wasn't as disappointed as I expected. Are you not entertained? Sure I was. But am I stunned? Nope. Read that 7 as if I'd give the 2000 film a 15.

Well, I only learned now that this exists. Seems like S1 was basically the starting point of the band Sailer & Speer, who are quite famous around here.

Now Anton Horvath is basically a live version of Deix' cartoons. A foulmouthed know-it-all who thinks the whole world is out to get him, who pretends to know everybody who is somebody. In reality, he lives a life of petty crime and very heavy drinking. On a very, very few occasions the reality of his 'potscherts Leben' (awkward life) does surface with him.

Now such figures are hard to watch. Because everybody knows one of those in real life. Maybe not that extreme but give 30 percent of the population a few beers & they'll come out.

Production quality does get better and better. S1 was obviously shot on no budget. During its run it becomes a proper mockumentary.

I'll give it 9/10 Proleten and call Horvath the Ultra-Mundl of the 21st century (without the heart of gold). As an Austrian, it's hard to watch because there are quite a lot of those types (like everywhere but here we know them)

... now I have re-watched that one since I'm doing a Napoleon-inspired retrospective of Ridley Scott's work. I barely remember it from seeing it at the theater. Obviously, that's for a reason.

Most of the big problems of the film have been mentioned in other reviews. No need to repeat them here. What's most jarring for me though is the interaction between Bale, Edgerton and the other characters in the beginning.

I mean, do you see this too?

It's a bunch of 21st century guys talking in their 21st century home accents, acting like 21st century dudes having a few cold ones on the porch, perfect teeth and all. Moses then marries a perfect 21st century model with a 21st century hairdo in the middle of the desert.

It's pretty clear those very good actors just didn't have anything to work with.

Nobody expects this to be a historically accurate piece. It's entertainment after all. However, Scott himself did better, in Gladiator as well as Kingdom of Heaven and Napoleon. Difference is, all those eras are much closer to our own time so we are more accepting of their characters kinda being like us (which just isn't true for 180 and the Crusades but hey).

The 1956 version definitely has more 'baroque' dialogue. But it's also more befitting the grandiose story. Even though I am not religious myself I think the portrayal of God as a petulant child is without respect for the source material.

Once the real action starts, all is good. Characters are no longer required ;)

Not one of my favorites from this great, great director. It's sloppy.