spider-31

John Lithgow? Tia Carrere? Donald Sutherland?

Yep, they got them all, and a pill poppin G-man who loves his guns, mixed them up with a whole bunch of different gangsters and came up with this, a strange hybrid of naff action movie, and pure cool action...

It might be trashy and silly, but the four main characters manage to lift it out of the swamp of mediocrity (although Donald Sutherland does rave insanely for much of this film...) Of course, Tia Carrere's fabulous body is an added plus (or John Lithgow, I guess...if you prefer that kind of thing...)

Well, at least Teaserama has Betty Page and the spectacularly-chested Tempest Storm to lure the viewer into a false sense of security. Once you get past these two, however, the film degenerates into dull gyrations from a variety of forgettable women, as well as painfully unfunny comedy routines. I assume they're supposed to be comedy; they could be just random words, it's hard to tell.

If you're a fan of Betty Page, Tempest Storm, or just kitschy camp silly costumed burlesque then you might as well watch it. If you want something erotic, or exciting, then don't watch it..

Well, some people might go to see this to watch a trashy rubber and pvc clad bisexual vampire assassin kicking some ass. If that's what you want, and you wear a cloak, file your teeth to points and think that the name Lilith Silver is cool, you'll see a fine film.

If, like most people, an assassin dressed in gleaming, creaking rubber with HUGE cleavage, thick makeup and bad fangs makes you laugh, then this is one of the best comedies you'll see. I laughed so hard I nearly cried. Ridiculous acting, dialogue and plotting help to make this a better spoof than Dracula, Dead and Loving It could be...

It tries to be cool and goth, and all it succeeds in doing is making each scene hilarious. Even the tacked-on lesbian scene is funny (how *did* she get those boots off that quickly? They were laced up to *here*...)

Don't see it if you like good films. See it if you like terrible films and want to laugh until you fall over.... It isn't good, it's just bad.