sjogro

For reasons not entirely clear to me I just watched a one-and-a-half hour PS3 cutscene. A late 90's actionmovie throwback, (almost?) worse than "Spawn".

Keanu Reeves "Neo's" himself through a script so thin it could have been written on the side of the paper. Familiar faces are put in shiny suits to make a dashing appearance. That's all they need to do, show their face and ooze cool, cause they'res little acting to really talk about. Look tough, drop a oneliner and pull the trigger like it's 1996.

It feels like you're watching "The Crow 6" or something.

Even the rain feels fake in this sad crime fantasy.

Discovering Clerks on VHS in a video rental place in the 90's was fun because it stood out against Hollywood slickness and gave every stoner kid the feeling as if their own dull life could be movie material. So many of us have been at gatherings messing around where someone would say "oh man, they should film this". Clerks was that film.

The outrageous characters and profanities made it a wild trip and watching it together was a rite of passage.

Looking at these characters with so many years on them now and acting even poorer than you've ever seen 'em do was a sad shock by itself but oh man do those jokes feel old and stale. It borders on necrophilia to see them try and squeeze a laugh out of the same material again and again. Together with the sentimental midlife crisis stroke weepery it's like watching a movie that exists against its will.

A sad waste of time.