- Sebastian: I'm letting life hit me until it gets tired. Then I'll hit back. It's a classic rope-a-dope.
- Sebastian: Alright, I remember you. And I'll admit I was a little curt that night.
- Mia: "Curt?"
- Sebastian: Okay, I was an asshole. I can admit that. But requesting "I Ran" from a serious musician, it's just, it's too far.
- Mia: My Lord, did you just say "a serious musician?"
- Sebastian: I don't think so.
- Mia: Can I borrow what you're wearing?
- Sebastian: Why?
- Mia: Because I have an audition next week. I'm playing a serious firefighter.
- Sebastian: So you're an actress? I thought you looked familiar. Have I seen you in anything?
- Mia: Uhh, the coffee shop on the Warner Brothers lot, that's a classic.
- Sebastian: Oh I see.
- Mia: Yeah.
- Sebastian: So you're a barista? And I can see how you could then look down on me from all the way up there.
- Keith: How are you gonna be a revolutionary if you're such a traditionalist? You hold onto the past, but jazz is about the future.
- Karen (Waitress): [passing by the piano] Welcome back, Seb.
- Sebastian: [to himself] There's a nice way to say that, Karen.
- Sebastian: I thought you wanted me to do this, it just sounds like now you don't want me to do it.
- Mia: What do you mean, I wanted you to do this?
- Sebastian: This is what you wanted for me.
- Mia: To be in this band?
- Sebastian: To be in a band, to have a steady job, you know to be... you know.
- Mia: Of course, I wanted you to have a steady job so that you could take care of yourself and your life and you could start your club.
- Sebastian: Yeah, so I'm doing that, so I don't understand like why aren't we celebrating?
- Mia: Why aren't you starting your club?
- Sebastian: You said yourself no one wants to go that club. No one wants to go to a club called 'Chicken on a Stick.'
- Mia: So change the name!
- Sebastian: Well, no one likes jazz, not even you!
- Mia: I do like jazz now because of you!
- Sebastian: I want to let you know you're looking at a new man. A man who's happy to be here.
- Boss: Right, and you'll play the set list.
- Sebastian: Gladly... Although, you know, I thought in this town it worked on a sort of "one for you, one for me" basis type system. How about two for you, one for me?
- Sebastian: How about all for you and none for me?
- Boss: That's perfect, yes.
- Sebastian: Great.
- Boss: Okay.
- Sebastian: Okay, a mutual decision then.
- Boss: Made by me.
- Sebastian: Right, and I sign off on it, so...
- Boss: Whatever. Tell yourself what you want to know.
- Sebastian: [about jazz] It's conflict and it's compromise, and it's just... it's new every time. It's brand new every night. It's very, very exciting!
- Mia: Maybe I'm one of those people that has always wanted to do it, but it's like a pipe dream for me, you know? And then you... you said it, you-you changed your dreams, and then you grow up. Maybe I'm one of those people, and I'm not supposed to. And I can go back to school, and I can find something else I'm supposed to do. 'Cause I left to do that, and it's been six years, and I don't wanna do it anymore.
- Sebastian: Why?
- Mia: Why what?
- Sebastian: Why don't you want to do it anymore?
- Mia: 'Cause I think it hurts a little bit too much.
- Sebastian: You're a baby.
- Mia: I'm not a baby.
- Sebastian: You are.
- Mia: I'm trying to grow up.
- Sebastian: You're crying like a baby.
- Mia: Oh, my god.
- Sebastian: And you have an audition tomorrow at 5:30. I'll be out front at 8:00 a.m. You'll be out front or not, I don't know.
- Mia: How did you find me here?
- Sebastian: The house in front of the library.
- Mia: [singing] And here's to the fools who dream / Crazy as they may seem. / Here's to the hearts that break. / Here's to the mess we make.
- Mia: Where's my car?
- Sebastian: You gotta put that thing to your chin.
- Mia: [indicating her key fob] This?
- Sebastian: Yeah. Yeah, it makes your head into an antenna, so...
- Mia: Ooh.
- Sebastian: I think it gives you cancer, but you find your car faster.
- Mia: What?
- Sebastian: I mean, you don't live long, but you get where you're going quicker, so it all evens out.
- Mia: That sounds terrible.
- Sebastian: Just a suggestion.
- Mia: You're... you're a real, um... what's the word I'm looking for?
- Sebastian: Knight in shining armor?
- Mia: Weirdo.
- Mia: I've been to a million auditions, and the same thing happens every time, where I get interrupted because someone wants to get a sandwich. Or I'm crying, and they start laughing. Or there's people sitting in the waiting room, and they're... and they're like me but prettier and better at the... because maybe I'm not good enough.
- Sebastian: Yes, you are.
- Mia: No... no, maybe I'm not.
- Sebastian: Yes, you are.
- Mia: Maybe I'm not.
- Sebastian: You are.
- Mia: Maybe I'm not.
- Sebastian: You are.
- Mia: It's over.
- Sebastian: What is?
- Mia: It's over.
- Sebastian: What?
- Mia: All of this. I'm done embarrassing myself. I'm done. I'm done. Nobody showed up.
- Sebastian: So what?
- Mia: [crying] I can't pay back the theater. This is so... I'm gonna go home for a while.
- Sebastian: I'm gonna... I'll come see you tomorrow.
- Mia: No, I'm going "home" home.
- Sebastian: This is home.
- Mia: No, it's not anymore.
- Mia: [Sebastian has followed her to Nevada] Why did you come here?
- Sebastian: Because I have good news.
- Mia: What?
- Sebastian: Amy Brandt, the casting director...
- Mia: Yeah?
- Sebastian: She was at your play, and she loved it. And she loved it so much that she wants you to come in tomorrow and audition for this huge movie that she's got.
- Mia: I'm not going to that. I'm not going to that.
- Sebastian: What?
- Mia: That one's gonna be... no. That one's gonna be...
- Sebastian: I'm sorry?
- Mia: That will kill me.
- Sebastian: [shouting] WHAT?
- Mia: What? What? Shh! Stop.
- Sebastian: NO!
- Mia: Shh! Shh, shh. You have to be quiet.
- Sebastian: If you want me to be quiet, then you have to make sense.
- Mia: We're in a neighborhood.
- Sebastian: If you want me to be quiet, you have to make some god damn sense.
- Mia: [During her audition] My aunt used to live in Paris. I remember when she used to come home, and tell us... these stories about being abroad. And... I remember... she told us once that she jumped into the river once. Barefoot. She smiled.
- [sings]
- Mia: Leapt without looking, / And tumbled into the Seine. / The water was freezing. / She spent a month sneezing, / But said she would do it again. / Here's to the ones who dream, / Foolish as they may seem. / Here's to the hearts that ache. / Here's to the mess we make.
- Sebastian: I just feel that people, when they say that they, you know, hate jazz... they just... they don't have context, they don't know where it comes from. You know? Jazz was born in a little flophouse in New Orleans, and it just, because people were crammed in there, they spoke five different languages, they couldn't talk to each other. The only way they could communicate was with jazz.
- Mia: Yeah, but what about Kenny G?
- Sebastian: What?
- Mia: What about Kenny G? I mean, what about elevator music? You know, jazz music that I know?
- Sebastian: What about it?
- Mia: From my life?
- Sebastian: Mm-hmm?
- Mia: I just, I mean, I-I find it relaxing.
- Sebastian: It's not relaxing. It's not. It's not. Sidney Bechet shot somebody because they told him he played a wrong note. That's hardly relaxing.
- Sebastian: Why do you say "romantic" like it's a dirty word?
- Laura: Unpaid bills are not romantic. Call her.
- Sebastian: I'm not gonna call her. And the thing is y-y-y-you're acting like life's got me on the ropes. I want to be on the ropes, okay? I'm just... I'm letting life hit me 'til it gets tired.
- Laura: Oh?
- Sebastian: Then I'm gonna hit back. It's a classic rope-a-dope.
- Laura: Okay, Ali. I love you. Unpack the boxes.
- Sebastian: I'm gonna change the locks.
- Laura: You can't afford it.
- Sebastian: I'm a phoenix rising from the ashes.
- Laura: When are you gonna unpack these boxes?
- Sebastian: When I unpack them in my own club.
- Laura: Oh, Sebastian. It's like a girl broke up with you and you're stalking her. You're not still going by there, are you?
- Sebastian: That's... you won't believe that they turned it into a samba-tapas place.
- Laura: Oh, my god, Sebastian!
- Sebastian: Samba. Tapas. Pick one, you know? Do one right.
- Sebastian: Please stop sneaking into my home.
- Laura: You think mom or dad would call this a home?
- Sebastian: What are you doing? Please don't do that. Please don't sit on that.
- Laura: Are you kidding?
- Sebastian: [ushering her off the stool] Please don't sit on that. Don't sit on that. Don't sit on that. Hoagy Carmichael sat on that!
- Laura: Oh, my god.
- Sebastian: The Baked Potato just threw it away.
- Laura: I can't imagine why.
- Laura: I have someone I want you to meet.
- Sebastian: I don't wanna meet anyone.
- Laura: Well...
- Sebastian: No, no, I don't wanna meet anyone.
- Laura: Dad gave you this?
- Sebastian: Yes.
- Laura: You'll like her.
- Sebastian: I don't think I'm gonna like her. Does she like jazz?
- Laura: Probably not.
- Sebastian: Then what are we gonna talk about?
- Laura: I don't know! It doesn't matter. Okay? Because you're living like a hermit. You're driving without insurance!
- Sebastian: It doesn't matter?
- Laura: Yeah, it doesn't matter.
- Sebastian: Okay.
- Laura: You need to get serious.
- Sebastian: Well, then I know a guy with a face tattoo that you should see.
- Laura: Okay, low blow.