Cross Wars - Das Team ist zurück!

One of my biggest issues is how poorly the scoring can on these reviews. So many times a decent movie is a legit 6 and worth a watch but the rating is off due to someone who has no business rating anything. They don't like the genre or one of the actors and they'll give it a 1 or a 2. Same with the friends of the film that tell you it's an underrated "Citizen Kane" and it's a 9 or 10. Please just stop scoring anymore-however this is a legit 1. Sit back and Embrace the Suck. OMG !

There are no actors in this movie. These are just people off the street reading lines off a white board. Tom Sizemore and Danny Trejo do appear in this flick but they forgot how to act. The writing was grade school level. And don't even get me started on the "special effects", even the guns they shoot use horrible special effects for the muzzle blast. What is really strange though is there is one scene of action early on then there is nothing but dialog for about an hour. Really bad dialog. This show is probably the worst film ever made. That's all I got to say 'bout that.

I remember Friday nights with the family was a trip to blockbuster, and that's what made my weekends so special growing up. Being a big movie buff seeing everything from blockbuster hits to low budget indi flicks allowed me to appreciate filmmaking and its purpose. That main purpose was to entertain, and that's what the first Cross did for me with old school names like Michael Clarke Dunkin, Tom Sizemore, Brian Austin Green, Vinnie Jones (baddass!) and that crazy Wacky dude from StarShip Troopers, Jake Busey. I thought it was kind of fun with some one liners that made me chuckle and go back in time and visualize that these household names were built on mannerisms like these. I also thought it was kind of cool that they mixed an all star cast like this that come from different career backgrounds and made a Superhero vs super-villain movie out of it. I'm Looking forward to the non stop action packed popcorn chomping last movie on the blockbuster shelf again. I'm excited to see what Cross Wars has to offer with Danny Trejo and the rest of the Cross gang at it again. Future Cult Classic in the horizon!

You actually have to go out of your way to be this bad

It's kind of marvellous.

Every line of dialogue feels stilted and unnatural. None of the jokes are funny. The action is empty and the effects laughable.

Worse than the worst episodes of Arrow or Smallville.

An excuse for the director to have a bunch of hot people hang out together. The afterparty they had must have been more exciting than the movie.

Truly worse than porn level acting, which is probably why I'm so erect right now, or maybe it's because this movie is so perfectly garbage that all the blood had to leave my brain in order to keep me alive after watching this.

Impressively boring as a movie, worth a so bad it's good watch with your friends.

I think we should give them credit for making the worst movie of the 21st century. It will take a long time to beat this achievement. Well done !!!