Big Gay Love

I hate stereotypes. In gay movie it is often full of this. A gay man is always seen as feminine, making wild gestures, being sassy, speaking nasal.... That is all this movie also gives to you. A bunch of stereotypes which make ALL the characters very unlikeable.

It is very difficult to connect with them - especially with Bob. Of course he must be the untrained, chubby not so good looking guy who also does not make it to be funny in a positive way.

Though this movie is labeled as a comedy there is no joke that really works. The dialogs are flat as some mens shirtless stomaches and the whole movie is a boredom fest.

Either gay or straight this kind of story is copied billions of times and in the end there also is a very bad dialog which should win a "razzie".

I just watched this movie because of Nicholas Brendon, but he is just playing his role and can't be blamed for this bad piece of script.

Wow, was this a bad movie. The script. The acting. The story. Really, it doesn't have much going for it at all.

An insecure guy turns off everyone he talks to. Until, for some inexplicable reason, a nice lguy takes an interest in him. And then he works his damaging magic even on the one nice character in the movie.

The gay world is depicted as shallow, and trite, right from the get go when the "hero" of the film, Bob, is looking at a house in a "gayborhood," and two neighbors stop in to criticize the prospective buyer.

At every turn, I couldn't help but take umbrage at the über-negative stereotypical depiction of gay men. Just about everyone in the movie is a cartoon character. Even Bob's mother.

This movie is almost a continual an eye-roller, because it's hard to believe that someone actually thought this was a good idea (?).

There's no reason that anyone would stay friends for long with Bob. His negative attitude, which I guess is SUPPOSED to represent his insecurities and poor self image, would repel even a saint.

Ironically, Bob is portrayed as one of the few people in the LA gay community that have real feelings. But they're all so negative and self-deprecating that it quickly gets tiring to sit through. He treats everyone, from his mother to his lover, very badly. He mistrusts, and turns against everyone around him, and goes spiraling off at every perceived slight or emotional injury.

Tiresome, silly, implausible, and even the attempted comedy falls sadly flat.

Take a Quaalude if you're really desperate for a downer. It would be a better experience than this downer of a movie.

Bob is a chubby, not overly attractive gay man who carries about all the acquired baggage of being gay in a straight world as well as feeling undeserving of love in the gay world. It's understandable that this burden has left him with a poor self-image, a suspicion of anyone who might appear attracted to him and a defensive, protective bitchiness to stave off any more rejection. I happened to re-watch Love! Valour! Compassion! the same day I watched this film and Jason Alexander plays a similar role, further complicated by being HIV positive. Jason Alexander successfully engenders sympathy and compassion, both among his friends and those watching the movie. Jonathan Lesecki as Bob, not so much.

As the synopsis states: Bob has "fabulous friends" and a "great job" as a supposedly much sought after party planner. It's a little difficult to buy into Bob's party planning success with the few drab, low-key examples in the movie. Even more difficult to understand is how Bob managed to acquire & keep these fabulous friends or the two guys who appear to be romantically attracted to him.

Two of his "fabulous" friends, Aidan and Chase, are indeed beautiful in appearance, funny and amazingly supportive. I think their presence saved the movie for me. Still, exactly why they seem to have taken on the mission of befriending and encouraging Bob remains a mystery. Bob is nothing like the other friends they have, shares none of their interests or enthusiasms and at times is caustically offensive to them. Why their friendship with him endures defies reason.

Bob's self-deprecating humor is sometimes somewhat comedic, though often tedious, and his constant stream of self-loathing while keeping people at a safe distance must wear thin on those he knows. It might be explained as a consequence of all his insecurities, but why he has managed to keep any friends at all is inexplicable. Bob does not engender love or compassion and those who stick by him during his trials and tribulations must have very high pain thresholds.

He has an ongoing slightly amusing banter with his mother, but she is a two-dimensional character that contributes nothing useful to the story and, had her character been eliminated from the movie it would have moved things along at a better pace with no loss.

"Real" people do not conform to stereotypes nor do they behave predictably, but stereotypes exist for a reason and too many characters in this movie behave in ways that seem unfathomable in the context of the story. And yet as is true in most fantasies and fairy tales, all is eventually & inexplicably resolved, more or less. True love and affirming self-esteem survive Bob's best efforts to kill them off. For some reason the resolution doesn't inspire hope so much as incredulity and relief that the credits should start rolling before long.

I've generously given the movie a neutral 5. Some of the issues explored have been dealt with far better in other films. At times the point about loss of self-esteem in an image-conscious environment is rather heavy- handed and preachy. There are probably better things you could do with your time, although Ethan Le Phong, who also appeared in Naked Boys Singing, and Todd Stroik, make watching the movie bearable … which is ironic since their physical beauty and charm negate the movie's message about inner beauty being more important than superficial and physical characteristics.

The funniest part of the film is the very beginning, when the nosy neighbour played by Drew Droege and his "pussywhipped" husband, call by and check out their potential future neighbour, played by Jonathan Lisecki. Droege kills it as professional suburban married gay parent with husband and baby-in-pram in tow. Droege meets his new fellow-gay neighbour with a disapproving grimace and then berates him for his overweight looks, party planning job, and worst of all, his single status. He does this in a very accomplished passive aggressive and haughty manner with little side eyed glances to partner and subtle gestures of indignation. He is basically telling Lisecki, "your obesity offends me, fat people are not desired in our community," without actually saying this ad verbatim.

I thought this would become the humorous premise of the movie. Unfortunately not. Lisecki is not as funny as Droege. Droege doesn't appear from then on, and Lisecki's character never manages to make me laugh at all.

Although the film pretends to criticize "superfical" West Hollywood body culture and LGBT elitism, the narrative is told from a frame of mind that adheres strictly to new gay conformist morals, almost as conservative as if they lived in an orthodox Evangelical community. You are supposed to not judge a person by his obesity to the point where you are obliged to be in a relationship with them or otherwise be outed as being "lookist" and "shallow." It is this emotional blackmail purported by whiny, needy, clingy Lisecki as if it were an honorable quest for love, that fails to make us empathize with him. I merely end up thinking: "get rid of the fat bastard, he doesn't deserve a boyfriend at all." He proves not just ugly on the outside, but on the inside as well.

Moreover the film becomes an unwatchable messy surreal shambles towards the end, by which point I switched off the DVD. If you do find Lisecki funny, then you might enjoy the film however.

I've seen many folks like the character that Jonathan Liesecki plays in Big Gay Love. He's a chubby guy afraid to put himself out there because he doesn't want to get hurt. The sarcastic wit he develops is part of an armor coat to protect him from the world of hurt. Sad to say but in the gay male world physical beauty is prized a lot and many people don't look beyond it.

Enter Nicholas Brendon late of Buffy the Vampire Slayer who is an apsiring celebrity chef and you would think that party planner Liesicki and Brendon would be a match. But both have a lot to overcome.

I liked this bittersweet story of contemporary gay life. The film is well cast and the story has a universal identification in the gay world. Take note of Ann Walker as Liesicki's mother, she's a hoot.

Recommended for more than LGBTQ audiences.