The Meat Puppet

It's rare for me to rate or review a film I haven't seen til the end, no matter how terrible. But I'll make an exception here, and I'm only 30 minutes in. I can forgive cheap sets, a poor script or even some minor libel. In one scene an S&M prostitute uses a line from "Eating Raoul" ("Lick my boot, slave."). I have to wonder if it was done on purpose, as both films involve cannibalism and it's only in case they managed to be that clever that I gave it 2 stars instead of 1. But what I can't excuse is incredibly horrendous acting by every actor in these first 30 minutes. Every. Single. One. When a kid selling chocolate bars has the best line interpretation of the cast, you've got a problem.

"The Meat Puppet" is about a man who murders and eats his victims. Although the movie attempts a character study of the protagonist, Who cares? I just can't get past the putrid "acting." This is no "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer." I made it through that. It's just plain awful.

"Meat Puppet," you have defeated me.

This is a film that tries to walk the line between horror and black humour; it fails spectacularly. How best to describe "The Meat Puppet" - Ted Bundy meets Jeffrey Dahmer? Indeed, for true crime buffs there is a rather obvious cultural reference to Bundy when our creepy serial killer cannibal picks up a girl at the beach. Like Bundy he has his arm in a sling. This appears in the 2002 film "Ted Bundy"as does the scene where he freaks out in his car; in the Bundy film that was after Carol DaRonch (renamed Tina Gabler) fought him off and escaped; here it is in a different context.

This film fails in so many ways it is difficult to give it any credit at all; Keith Collins plays the psychopathic Drew Shelton in an intentionally creepy fashion, but rather than creepy he is annoying. Even the incestuous relationship with his aunt misses the mark. "The Meat Puppet" was obviously made on a low budget; that along with the poor script seals its fate. It earns one point for the soundtrack, which should have been more extensive.

The Meat Puppet would fall under the torture porn category, yet has no actual torture porn. Yes I know that makes no sense but bear with me.

It tells the story of a man with an abusive upbringing who now grown up has his share of mental health issues. He lives with the woman who raised him in place of his parents (Who he has sex with by the way despite her referring to him as her son). He repeatedly brings girls back to his house, imprisons them, tortures them, kills them and then erm............cooks and eats them.

So thats the plot, and it's executed as well as you'd expect. And by that I mean terribly. No "Torture porn" as you'd expect, no interesting plot, no decent soundtrack, no competent cinematography, a forgettable cast and lackluster script.

What I'm trying to get across is that this is a mess of a film, poorly constructed and literally ticks none of the boxes you would expect and has no redeeming qualities.

Whats makes matters worse is how shilled this film is. The ratings are clearly bias! I don't mean that in an arrogant fashion claiming that nobody could possibly like this film, I simply mean let's not kid ourselves about the number of 10's it has recieved.

The Good:

That would be a no

The Bad:

Made my skin crawl in places

Fails to meet already low expectations

Has no redeeming features, everything ranges from poor to pitiful

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

A torture porn movie with no torture porn is like watching one of those terrible Kardashian shows. Oh wait, no that is torture.

Shill ratings damage a movies credibility not add to it