Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader

And then there's Attack of the 50 Ft. Cheerleader. I am a fan of the movies that are so bad, they become good for how bad they really are. Those movies are truly an art. Many times the actors try to give a believable performance, the effects department try hard, so there is an heir of seriousness about it.

Trying to intentionally recreate that however is difficult. The concept of "Attack of the 50 Ft. Cheerleader" was well in line with its B-movie counterparts, but the acting felt way too forced. Plus it felt more like an excuse to show a lot of breasts.

There are ways to pay homage to those great cult sci-fi classics, but this just didn't do it for me.

Aspiring college cheerleader Cassie Stratford (Jena Sims) consumes an experimental drug that grants her beauty and enough athletic ability to make the cheer squad. The drug has an unforeseen side effect -- Cassie starts to grow and grow and grow.

Let me be up front on my choice to give this film a 6. That rating is purely based on the "fun factor" and not on any critical merit. The acting is nothing special (though I have sen worse) and the effects are rather poor. This should not count against them, though, because they obviously knew it was going to be cheesy.

The cameos they were able to secure are impressive. Ted Raimi has a decent sized role as a scientist, and both John Landis and Roger Corman appear as professors. The scene with Landis and Corman alone makes the film worth watching for any horror fan.

As one who remembers the Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, I was hoping that the special effects would have improved after 55 years. Well, the improvement was not worth the viewing. I suppose the 1993 made for TV version will still be the 'next best thing'. Ms. Jenna Sims was respectable as Cassie, the cheerleader, although her general beauty was as poorly concealed in the beginning as her beast implants were in the end. Ms. Olivia Alexander had the role of character with the most attitude, head cheerleader Brittany, though Treat Williams went sufficiently over-the-top as the pharma-mercinary. Sean Young played 'mom' by Skyping-in her performance, literally. Everyone else was either adequately camp or, sometimes, momentarily cute. The best scenes were also the shortest.

The one thing that I do not understand if the use of remanufactured breasts. If you are going to show bosoms, the show ones that look real. Ms. Sims, an otherwise lovely lady, displayed breasts that would shame most plastic surgeons. Most of the others topless actresses were similarly endowed. The most nuanced and effective character was Mary Woronov as the house mother, who was part Masterpiece Theater and part House of Horrors.

As for the plot, yes there was a plot, the story held up. University research onto cell regeneration turns into an overblown disaster. Of course, people growing and shrinking like balloons was completely implausible, but that was par for the movie. The pharma angle, which included clown-like pharma-enforcers was the only truly camp acting that held up, mostly thanks to Treat. The chemistry between the Ryan Merriman character, Kyle, and Cassie was as contrived as the pink serum that made her grow. The big finale might have worked if the special effects had really held their own.

One last mention of Sean Young, if you are old enough to remember Ms. Young in Blade Runner (when it premiered), then this movie will make you quite sad. Still a looker, the actress who played Jenna's mom was a total waste in this production. If you looked closely, you could still see tiny hints of the actress who was so compelling in Jane Austen in Manhattan and No Way Out. However, you had to look though a microscope, which is a hard way to watch a movie. Such is life.

So Roger Corman and John Landis decided to do an intentionally cheap and campy twist on The Attack of the 50 FT Woman.

The problem with camp is that it typically isn't appreciated until at least 10 years after being released, with 20 years being even better.

As such, right now, this movie just comes off as CHEAP, unfunny, uninspired, and mostly uninteresting.

To be frank, there is one reason to watch this movie and that is the spectacular body of Jena Sims, the lead, who is either topless or in a skimpy cheerleader outfit for most the show.

In fact, besides Jena, you see a number of topless babes in this movie. However, the nudity is all in a non-sexual context.

I give it a 5 on Jena's impressive assets alone.

Plot- a shy, awkward girl pledges an elite college sorority where she's ridiculed until a stray acupuncture takes over.

Okay, I'm a 1950's drive-in geezer, so my standards range from Attack Of The Crab Monsters to Bucket Of Blood. But so what, no one claimed these wacko flicks were Oscar bait or even uptown favorites. Anyway, what a great successor this nonsense entry is to those classics of yesteryear. Instead of the cheezy big bugs from that earlier era, this one's got 50-foot bazooms that go naked to the world - so who says there's been no progress in movies. The best they could do in the old days was put tight sweaters on protruding gun boats and let you use your imagination. Here the special effects are almost uptown as the 50-foot cuties roam around in almost convincing style. And catch that revered icon of the drive-in, Roger Corman, giving this flick his imprimatur as the college Dean. Thanks Roger for the timely connection.

And, oh yeah, despite all the sex play, I think I detected some sombre subtexts that deserve passing mention. For one, poor Cassie has to prove herself to sorority snobs if she wants to join the elite. Trouble is that her natural self is so much better. So I guess the lesson is don't always do what a tradition-bound Mom tells you. Then there's chemical companies that, oh my gosh, can be ruthlessly greedy, even when normal lives are at stake. Could that be a foreshadowing of Covid-19 in our own day. Anyway, wacko or not, this cheezy sandwich plays with some important themes. Okay, no need to go on. My geezer advice: play the flick in a backseat between smooches and salute Roger Corman for pioneering these sleezy fun-fests.